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Thread: He's stopped pursuing contact, what should I do?

  1. #21
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Savanna
    I already explained due to the nature of his job he's quite busy. He works 12 hour shifts.
    But anyway you think I shouldn't contact him myself then?
    You also told him that you aren't into phone calls and don't have time for lengthy conversations and you sat back while he initiated all forms of communication... I am not sure why you are surprised that he lost interest. He said he doesn't want a texting buddy, so unless you are willing to make time for a phone call or to meet in person, I suggest letting this go and finding someone who's schedule better matches with yours.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    This is all you need to know. don't waste your time on go nowhere situations. Delete and block him and move forward.
    Originally Posted by Savanna
    I met him a few months ago. But then I myself decided to cut him off because I got annoyed about something.
    he said he didnt think things would go anywhere between us

  3. #23
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Oh dear. No more chatting. It's time to enjoy the company of someone in person. It may seem tempting if convenience is what you're aiming for but sooner or later you'll be left wanting for more as the interactions will become stale quickly. I think you should think a little better of yourself. You deserve better.

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by Savanna
    We havnt. But due to the nature of his job he wanted to be sure about me before he did. So he wanted to have a proper phone conversation with me before meeting.
    All of this wasted time and energy on someone yo haven't even met. Oh, goodness!

    If you haven't met someone within two weeks, you should have moved on.

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  6. #25
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    Originally Posted by Savanna
    I already explained due to the nature of his job he's quite busy. He works 12 hour shifts.
    But anyway you think I shouldn't contact him myself then?
    If he is that busy, then why would you continue to pursue this? it makes zero sense! Move on!

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by WaywardKiwi
    Hi Savanna,

    Just my take, but it seems like he was pursuing and showing interest, and even went as far as to express he wanted more than you were giving. You also admit you have blown a bit hot and cold with him. I guess if I imagine this was his thread, with just the facts as you have presented here, he would be hearing a lot of 'she's not interested' responses. I don't forsee him pursuing you now, as it doesn't really sound like you have giving him much to want to pursue. I imagine his interest has faded, and really the question is do you want to spark it up again.

    To be honest, in these types of 'waiting for some signal of interest' threads, my opinion is usually to just put your cards on the table or walk away. If you actually are interested in him, and honestly think maybe you haven't been signalling that very clearly, then why not just make it clear? I would go with something like - "Hey, I'm sorry, I know I haven't been really clear here, but I have really enjoyed getting to know you and would love to have the chance to meet up and see if there is anything there." If he is open to this, go straight to organising the when and where. And if you are genuinely interested, make the effort to be then and there. Personally, I just think this 'showing interest/whos turn is it to message' dance is rarely that productive, especially when it reaches the point you are here asking about it.

    And of course, if your not that fussed that's fine too, just move on. No need to over think it - his interest is fading.

    Best of luck whatever you decide,

    T
    I am interested in him yes but I wanted to go at a slower pace i guess than him. I don't think he's happy with just messaging now and then. But he does respond happily and quickly enough when i do message him.

    2b fair if the roles were reversed I would probably have lost interest a lot sooner than him even. SO I guess I don't blame him. I dunno

  8. #27
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    This is all you need to know. don't waste your time on go nowhere situations. Delete and block him and move forward.
    HE said it because when I blocked him the first time round I suppose he didnt trust I wouldn't do it again.

  9. #28
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    Originally Posted by Savanna
    I am interested in him yes but I wanted to go at a slower pace i guess than him. I don't think he's happy with just messaging now and then. But he does respond happily and quickly enough when i do message him.
    That doesn't mean much when you two have not even had one date, OP.

    It means he enjoys the attention from you when you reached out and had enough downtime to reply, but that's about it.

    This ship has already sailed. Most men are not going to put themselves on hold for someone they've been only chatting to for months. He's likely been out seeing other women in the meantime and looking for a more viable option.

  10. #29
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    Yes I agree. How did you feel about being "chased" by him? Is that something you like, dislike, etc?
    I mean I don't mind being chased by him no. I feel it's the guys responsibility to do the chasing. If it was someone I didn't like at all I would probably dislike it

  11. #30
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    Originally Posted by melancholy123
    The fact you havent met him tells us a lot. There's always the possibility he's not available, he could be married or living with someone or just not who he says he is. Cut your losses and move on.
    We probably havnt met because of how u kind of early on just left him, blocked him. But then came back. SO he lost a bit of trust there may be.since that time he was more suspicious of my intentions I guess. On top of that he is a cop so I suppose he doesn't want to just end up meeting someone who isn't who they say they are. I think those were obstacles aswell as my hot n cold behaviour

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