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Thread: Can sex with benefits bring back my ex-boyfriend

  1. #21
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    He is not your therapist, OP.
    would you not expect your boyfriend to be there for you especially after he said he would call you because he wanted to check up on you?

  2. #22
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    People who use sex as currency tend to end up broke.

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by Ellaho
    would you not expect your boyfriend to be there for you especially after he said he would call you because he wanted to check up on you?
    Ok,.so that was a deal breaker for you, so you broke up with him.

    Now you're rewarding his behavior with commitment-free sex.

    Does that make sense?

  4. #24
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Short answer, no.

    At this point you are trying to manipulate him back into a relationship and he's just there for the free sex.

    If he did love you like you wanted him to, he wouldn't all of a sudden say he no longer loves you. I suspect he really did mean it which is why he was careless at getting back to you.

    You can't force people to love you or feel the same way you do.

    You need to let this go and move on.

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  6. #25
    Originally Posted by Ellaho
    A month after our breakup we met up to talk, although I couldn’t speak without crying. This in turn made him cry as well, he tells me that he still does care about me.
    All of the time you are swing the time, but still you will not going to find you EX back

  7. #26
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    But it's not about him not calling, it's about you having a conniption and ending it. He is probably so fed up with your drama he deliberately ignored you and played video games so he didn't have to listen to your latest dilemma. This may have been simple not caring that much or perhaps deliberate to force your hand to end things. He may already know that your solution to not getting your way is to end it or threaten to.


    If it were important he would have contacted you. The most important lesson here is not only that sexting and hookups do not reinstate relationships or endear anyone to you, but that you need to seriously tone down the drama.

    Keep in mind any and all sexts can be posted on social media and go viral in a nanosecond. He simply doesn't respect you and being a blowup doll certainly won't make him care or love you. He is probably having a good laugh about your drama and breakup and showing his friends the texts/sexts and telling them what a fool you are and how he's got you under his thumb. Don't be a fool. Stop the drama and stop the hookups.
    Originally Posted by Ellaho
    would you not expect your boyfriend to be there for you especially after he said he would call you because he wanted to check up on you?

  8. #27
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Ellaho
    A month after our breakup we met up to talk, although I couldn’t speak without crying. This in turn made him cry as well, he tells me that he still does care about me.
    I am sure he does OP. That being said, MK makes some valid points here:

    Basically if he finds you physically attractive and he can have sex with you without consequences, he will do just that. It does not mean he still cares about you, it does not mean he will grow feelings for you again. It just means your body excites his pen1s and he enjoys having sex with you. The fact that he repeatedly tells you that he does not want a relationship, that he does not love you, etc... is not some game he is playing, he is laying out his cards. Given those circumstances, if you are still willing to provide him with sexual gratification, then he is happy to comply. It is that simple.
    I mean I don't know if I would go so far as to say he doesn't care about you, but I would definitely agree that should you decide to pursue a sex with him even after he has told you he doesn't a relationship with you and doesn't love you, then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. It's as MK says... when the switch goes off for a guy, it's off for good.

  9. #28
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    Originally Posted by Ellaho
    would you not expect your boyfriend to be there for you especially after he said he would call you because he wanted to check up on you?
    I am curious as to what happened that day? What was so bad about the day?

  10. #29
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    Nope. It will only make him see you as guaranteed sex. He doesn't have to get back together to get it from you. Please treat yourself better and stop communicating with this guy. You are worth more than that. The poorer you treat yourself, the more poorly people will be invited to treat you

  11. #30
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    Originally Posted by Ellaho
    would you not expect your boyfriend to be there for you especially after he said he would call you because he wanted to check up on you?
    Sure, but I would not break up with him for it unless there was a pattern of such behaviour from him.

    And if it was a pattern, then I sure wouldn't be having sex with him now.

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