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I'm in a (kind of) long distance relationship and I'm finding it difficult.


Stressed123

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So myself and my boyfriend have been going out for over 6 months (it got serious quite quickly which we are both happy about). We met in college, and lived about 10mins away from eachother, making it very easy to meet etc. However, since we have both finished college now and moved home (we live 2hrs away from eachother) we can only see eachother at the weekends. My boyfriend works Mon-Fri, where as I am still working a shift work job, meaning i very rarely get a full weekend off. My boyfriend is the best in the world and will drive to see me even if its just for an evening in between my shifts, but we never get to do proper things together eg. go away for weekends. As I have worked in my job for 4 years and rarely requested weekends off, I mentioned it to my manager, but it has made no difference. I guess I'm just finding it tough not knowing from one week to the next when I'll see my boyfriend, and I feel like we're missing out on the important bonding couples should be doing.

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I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 9 months. We met in college and got on immediately. College finished for Summer and we now live 2hrs apart, both with jobs. I have 2 jobs and I always rearrange my plans so we can meet up, but i always have to work around what days he has off, which usually is okay.

 

Is this a different boyfriend than the one you posted about in 2016?

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Well...

 

You have both finished college and moved back home, and you say you are working a shift job?

 

1) If you have a college degree, get a regular M-F 9-5 job

2) You should be looking for a job where he lives

OR

3) He should be looking for a job where you live

 

Yes, at your age you should be spending weekends together.

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Yes I am currently looking for jobs using my degree, and I'm focusing on the area and surrounding areas where my boyfriend lives as there are loads of jobs in my field (there isn't many opportunities in science in my area anyways). My boyfriend has got a great job using his degree and has no plans to leave, which is completely understandable. I guess I just need to be patient and hope everything falls into place?

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Based on your reply, I think it will just take some time. Try to be patient. Seeing your guy on weekends only is pretty normal. I dated someone once that lived closer (an hour) and we still only saw each other on weekends. It forced us to compromise on communication style and it resulted in us having a more honest and open relationship. We didn't work out, but it wasn't because of the distance! You can make it work. It sucks for now, but "now" is just temporary. :)

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Yes, please be patient and stay focused. Work on finding a stable job for yourself that is fitting considering your education. Don't burn bridges with your current employer and consider cultivating healthy mentorships at your current workplace. With four years under your belt you should have something to stand for it on your resume. Don't let the time slip by without much meaning. You will be attending interviews soon. Brush up on your interview skills and start doing deeper research into your industry. Start visiting networking events and meeting and rubbing shoulders with other industry professionals. You can start with on-campus resources that were available to you in your senior years or as an alumni. Don't be afraid to speak to your old professors also. They are a wealth of information and will gladly point you in the right direction.

 

Good luck on that front. Also remember that someone who loves you will want to see you flourish and cultivate yourself. He sounds like a good person. Grow together and don't forget your work and your own goals.

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Sounds like a good bf who is putting in lots of effort. I'd be concentrating on applying for jobs in his area instead of stressing about your present, temporary situation. At least you can be proactive about polishing your resume and tweaking it to fit each individual job. I wouldn't recommend moving in with him, though. I'd get your own place, even if it's renting a room from someone. In that way, it won't be too much too soon, since you haven't dated a year yet. And even though he's really into you, it might be too overwhelming and smothering if you go from very little time together to 24/7 together. It'd be better to date at a normal pace, in separate living quarters, for awhile before taking the next step of moving in together.

 

Good luck in your selected career and your budding love life.

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