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Thread: How would you feel about this?

  1. #11
    Member Eliza50's Avatar
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    My friend called just now, asked about my mother and both he and his wife were wonderful to me. I feel stupid.
    I think my anxiety over my mother (+ the situation with our other friend) made me see things that weren't there.
    Thank you all for the advice.

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by Eliza50
    My mother was admitted to hospital yesterday because of liver problems. Two of my closest friends (a married couple) ,haven't called or even messaged me to ask how she's doing.
    They know about it because we met last Sunday and I told them she would be hospitalized the next day.
    Also, the guy and I work at the same place and he was there when I left work early because of that reason..this was.yesterday and I haven't heard anything from him or his wife since. Not even to ask what the problen was (I didn't know it was the liver yet).
    All my other friends have contacted me in some way..everyone but those 2 and another friend we all used to hang out with.
    I've posted about her before. Long story but we're not close any more so I wonder if their silence now means they're taking sides or something (I had a chat with her last week and they know about it..I wouldn't tell them myself but she did and they told me so I told them my side of the story)
    Perhaps I shouldn't have but her version of what happened was full of lies so I felt I should tell them the truth when they asked.
    Any ideas? I feel very disappointed right now as these are people I thought I could count on and I specifically told them this is the story but I know she's also your friend so don't get involved. I would never ask them to pick sides but seems like they have?
    This was a planned hospitalization, not an emergency rush to the hospital. Cut them slack. In my experience, people don't usually contact people in this situation as to not disturb or bother them. Having been on both ends of this, people wait until they hear/the person initiates contact for a first update. If it had been an emergency, you got the call in front of them that mom was unconscious and you dropped the phone and ran to the hospital, i am sure they would have called. But going in 'planned' to the hospital - do i ask how each and every person's colonoscopy went? Nope.

    Also, if other friends are friends with these friends, they could have heard second hand. Or because it was planned and not an emergency, they would probably ask the next time they saw you.

    My take is that you are LOOKING to find fault with them or looking for an excuse to

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by Eliza50
    My friend called just now, asked about my mother and both he and his wife were wonderful to me. I feel stupid.
    I think my anxiety over my mother (+ the situation with our other friend) made me see things that weren't there.
    Thank you all for the advice.
    I'm glad they called and I hope you reread the feedback here because it will help you direct your energy where it needs to be in the future.

  4. #14
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    There ya go. Sometimes all that is needed is some patience.
    Originally Posted by Eliza50
    My friend called just now, asked about my mother and both he and his wife were wonderful to me. I feel stupid.
    I think my anxiety over my mother (+ the situation with our other friend) made me see things that weren't there.
    Thank you all for the advice.

  5.  

  6. #15
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Just realize people have their own lives and everyone is very busy. If they remember, they'll get back with you eventually.

    Some people will care, others are indifferent and this is how it people are whether they're friends or not. It's universal. Be realistic.

    However, I'm glad in the end, your friend eventually called you out of concern and hope your mother will feel better and get better.

  7. #16
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    You have made multiple threads about this woman. Have you ever considered that you are the problem? I'm sorry, but you seem quite dramatic!

  8. #17
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Expectations are premeditated resentments

    I like this saying because it reminds me to manage my expectations of others and that they are sometimes unrealistic.

    Life just gets a little easier when we try to have faith in others and don't try to box them into how we think they should behave.

    I hope your mother is feeling better soon.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Expect nothing and you won't get hurt.

    If you expect people to behave honorably and graciously, you'll be forever disappointed, hurt, miffed, disgusted and angry.

    It's actually better to expect the WORST in people so you'll remain unfazed by any reaction or non-reaction. Then when they actually behave with tact, respect and grace toward you, you'll be pleasantly surprised and touched by their goodwill and sincerity.

    Change the way you think and you'll feel more secure. This is what I do!

  10. #19
    Member Eliza50's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    You have made multiple threads about this woman. Have you ever considered that you are the problem? I'm sorry, but you seem quite dramatic!
    I don't think I'm dramatic in general (at least I've never been called that)...this is just a bad time for me and I wasn't thinking straight when I started this particular thread, I admit it. As for multiple, well, it was 2 threads in 6 months. It was a situation that developed over time and resulted in us not being friends any more.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    Expectations are premeditated resentments
    I love this. It's true that whenever I keep my eyes on my own paper, I'm too focused to notice what others do or don't do.

    Head high, and best wishes for your Mom's recovery.

    Read my sig!

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