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Thread: Casual sex with the same person for 8 years

  1. #1

    Casual sex with the same person for 8 years

    I have been hooking up very casually with the same guy for EIGHT YEARS. We were young and dumb when it started, There is obviously physical attraction, but there is absolutely zero chemistry other than that. We hook up maybe once a month, or every other month. We donít really speak afterwards, or have any communication until either of us wants to hookup again. The past few months he has been recording us every time we hook up and I donít know how to feel about it. I trust him, heís a good guy. I just question the lack of emotional connection. I donít feel used, I just wonder if having casual sex with the same person for 8 years is normal??? I do think about him often, but not in a way that wishes we were more. I just wonder if he thinks of me too. I never push the issue because I obviously donít want to mess up a good thing. Or is it not a good thing? Help.

  2. #2
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    Video recording?

  3. #3
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    I think the real issue is the recording because that can live forever and you have no control over who sees it and when. Is it "normal" to have casual sex how you described? I don't know -why not? If it's two consenting adults who are single. It's only not normal if it stops feeling normal for you. It sounds like it's not feeling that normal for you, at least not lately. I wouldn't "trust" as far as the recording because even if he is trustworthy you have no idea who might see it, or he might mistakenly send it somewhere, etc. I would tackle the recording issue first -make sure -since you trust him -that he gives you the recording, that he hasn't saved any copies of it and none exist and then I would stop having him record anything. Unless for some reason it turns you on? Or some other benefit to you you do not want to give up?

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    I would not want someone recording me. You never know where it could end up. Why didn't you say no?

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    The bigger issue is the recording. You have no idea what he will do with those recordings, they could work their way around the world and you cant do a thing about it. This needs to stop. Just because it's fun now doesnt mean it'll stay that way forever.

    Sex with him off and on for 8 yrs? Well if you are both into it and it's not causing problems, then there is no problem.

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    First off donít let him record you! It doesnít sound like youíre into him recording you. You Donít want anyone else seeing that. And 8 years is a very long time for just a casual hook up. It seems like you want more than just a hookup. Be honest with yourself and him and tell him you actually want to be with him and if he doesnít agree then move on. Iím sorry but it seem like you made him too comfortable so he might just want the hookup and nothing more. Itís ok, you can find someone else to give you more.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Are either of you in relationships? Are you in the sex industry? Why allow pron to be made with you as the star?
    Originally Posted by Lexie1231
    I have been hooking up very casually with the same guy for EIGHT YEARS. The past few months he has been recording us every time we hook up and I donít know how to feel about it.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Lexie1231
    I have been hooking up very casually with the same guy for EIGHT YEARS. We were young and dumb when it started, There is obviously physical attraction, but there is absolutely zero chemistry other than that. We hook up maybe once a month, or every other month. We donít really speak afterwards, or have any communication until either of us wants to hookup again. The past few months he has been recording us every time we hook up and I donít know how to feel about it. I trust him, heís a good guy. I just question the lack of emotional connection. I donít feel used, I just wonder if having casual sex with the same person for 8 years is normal??? I do think about him often, but not in a way that wishes we were more. I just wonder if he thinks of me too. I never push the issue because I obviously donít want to mess up a good thing. Or is it not a good thing? Help.
    It's not a good thing if you are searching for growth in a relationship. Casual sex usually works for transition periods or for busy lives where no strings attached means less commitment and that also means less hassle and involvement. It also means that all the elements in a healthy and committed relationship are non-existent. If you are searching to grow emotionally, mentally, spiritually in a relationship, you are not growing in a casual relationship like this.

    The recording is a gray area. Just make sure he doesn't get your face or any unique markings on your body on video. You shouldn't be dealing with something this loaded or provocative if you feel uncomfortable with the nature of the casual sex in the first place. Maybe this is a reality check for you and it's time to rethink about what you're doing with your life and why you're so troubled. Your capslock in EIGHT YEARS doesn't sound very charming and you don't sound convinced that it's a good thing for you at all.

  10. #9
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    Is this relationship adding or detracting from your life. Are you hoping for more with someone else at some point? It's probably detracting. Do you want to be in porn somewhere on the net someday? Probably adding.


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