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Thread: How to tell a friend that Iím not going to take her to the musical...

  1. #21
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    You could say you forgot about the other event, and you are not available. Maybe, she can take someone else. There is no obligation, there was no money out of her pocket. Do you really want to go? The other friends will be there.

  2. #22
    Gold Member Nebraskagirl14's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    You could say you forgot about the other event, and you are not available. Maybe, she can take someone else. There is no obligation, there was no money out of her pocket. Do you really want to go? The other friends will be there.
    She has mentioned it in the last month but yes, she could totally just take her boyfriend as originally planned. It would be no skin off her nose, but again, lose lose as she will feel hurt that I bailed on her. Either way leads to us not being friends anymore it seems.

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by Nebraskagirl14
    She has mentioned it in the last month but yes, she could totally just take her boyfriend as originally planned. It would be no skin off her nose, but again, lose lose as she will feel hurt that I bailed on her. Either way leads to us not being friends anymore it seems.
    Maybe, this is your out of the relationship.

  4. #24
    Gold Member Nebraskagirl14's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Maybe, this is your out of the relationship.
    Not in the way I had imagined but perhaps!

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  6. #25
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    It would be no skin off her nose, but again, lose lose as she will feel hurt that I bailed on her.
    ... yet this woman repeatedly bails on you? I wouldn't be losing any sleep over this one!

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by Nebraskagirl14
    Not in the way I had imagined but perhaps!

    I would take it as a blessing.

  8. #27
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Why not nip it in the bud, and bring up the fact that you're having doubts about the status of your friendship? She'll either sink or swim, yet you'll likely know where you stand.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by smackie9
    I wouldn't mention a thing. If she does, call her out on how she's been treating your friendship. You can honestly let her know that you have taken offense to her lack of attention/communication. Give examples of being blown off, etc. She needs to hear it. And with all that you can tell her that you had already made arrangements to go with someone else. TBH there is nothing wrong with moving on and abandoning a friendship. There are times you just out grow each other, and go in you own direction. I myself have ditched friendships for various reason..and they were all healthy choices.
    Here's your answer right here. You havent heard much from this person, she hasnt asked about the musical, so you need to move on.

  10. #29
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    Originally Posted by melancholy123
    Here's your answer right here. You havent heard much from this person, she hasnt asked about the musical, so you need to move on.
    To the point! :)

  11. #30
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Don't make excuses. Simply decline politely and respectfully.

    She has blown you off several times and doesn't make an effort in the friendship. That's the reason right there.

    This friend never broached the topic regarding this upcoming musical, therefore, don't broach the topic either. Remain silent.

    There is no word to go back on. There's no mention regarding this upcoming musical so be quiet about this. Don't say / write anything. Let sleeping dogs lie.

    I wouldn't lie to this friend nor broach this topic. If she broaches the musical topic first, simply decline politely and respectfully. You do not need to give her any reasons nor excuses. No means no and keep it brief. No explanation necessary.

    Since she's a tepid friend, it sounds as if you can afford estrangement since she's not really a friend. She's a mere acquaintance at best.

    Should your paths cross, just remain respectful, well-mannered and polite just as you would with a colleague or an acquaintance. Keep a polite yet safe distance.

    You need thicker skin. You're not a bad friend. Just decline politely and be done with it.

    Remember true friendship is a 2-way street with both parties putting forth the effort for the friendship to continue flourishing.

    Lazy friendships flounder and eventually dissolve.

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