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Thread: Creating more boundaries and disentangling my life from hers

  1. #11
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    I think you should close the account.

    She is abusing the friendship.

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by smackie9
    Just say you are sorry but you have to close down your Netflix account because things are kinda tight with money for you. Then say you feel so bad about it, here's a gift card. I think that will work. As for driving places, limit that too by saying "sorry I have other plans, or I don't feel like going out."

    There are people like myself and my husband that can't handle owing someone, and pay back generously. Your friend has taken you for granted so don't feel guilty for cutting her off. I think it's only fair to back out.
    Why the gift card? They abused their privileges and have not paid anything.

    Seraphim is sounding like a charity for this woman.

  3. #13
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    It does sound good. This point my generosity is just taken for granted like itís always going to be there a relationship that is expected to be there . Not out of any maliciousness but just expectation I guess.
    Originally Posted by smackie9
    You are a very kind generous person......I totally get it, it's frustrating in these situation. You don't want to be the bad guy because that isn't you. I hope my suggestion is gentle enough to not ruffle any feathers.

  4. #14
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    I wouldnít close the account because my son and my husband and I use it . I can change the password .
    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    I think you should close the account.

    She is abusing the friendship.

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by Andrina
    Sometimes friendships aren't worth maintaining when you keep getting the short end of the stick. I'd say something like, "I value our friendship but this is a business, and I need an employee who is here when I need them most, so this arrangement isn't working out for me." And, "I tried to make it work for all of us with the Netflix, but 4 times this month I tried to watch a show and couldn't because too many people were watching, so I'm going to go back to solo use."

    If she ends the friendship because of you being reasonable, it's no loss. I had a friend for a decade who I had a lot of good times with, but could see how she manipulates people, including me, for her own good. The only time she initiated contact with me in the last year and a half, was to do her favors, which I rejected, and she hasn't contacted me just to hang out, so that friendship has faded and it's made room for me to spend more time with another friend who doesn't want anything from me other than enjoying outings together.

    Good luck and let us know how it goes.
    Totally agree!!!!!

  7. #16
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    I am close to one of her twin daughters, the who lives with her . And I have always bought that daughter a birthday present . So I could give her a gift card for Netflix.
    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Why the gift card? They abused their privileges and have not paid anything.

    Seraphim is sounding like a charity for this woman.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    I wouldnít close the account because my son and my husband and I use it . I can change the password .
    I don;t know how it works. Can't you close and reopen?

  9. #18
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    All I need to do is change the password and then they canít access it . It is just like changing the password on an email account.
    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    I don;t know how it works. Can't you close and reopen?

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    I am close to one of her twin daughters, the who lives with her . And I have always bought that daughter a birthday present . SonI could give her a gift card for Netflix.
    I see.

    You really need to change things. Their free Netflix needs to stop. I would also readdress the tax situation and using her as an employee if she is not reliable. i think she has taken advantage of your kindness. It is also not cool that she cancels plans when the daughter gets involved.

    You really need to assert some boundaries.

    What do you get out of this friendship?

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    All I need to do is change the password and then they canít access it . It is just like changing the password on an email account.
    That sounds good.

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