How do I continue to heal and keep "no contact" with my ex when he's suicidal?

[bf1997]

Thank you for your kind words. After reading all of the answers on this forum, I now realize how much I've lost myself in this toxic relationship. My parents always stressed selflessness and fighting for the ones you love...but I'm finally realizing that what my heart wants isn't necessarily what I NEED.

I'm so sorry to hear about your ex and friend, but it's inspiring to me that you know your own boundaries. I'm trying to do the same -- I need to be more firm about MY mental health.

I really appreciate your insight.

[bf1997]

I DO want to start living again--that's why I reached out to this forum. I'm not trying to be a savior, I just feel a deep internal tug to help. I'm a nursing major too, so my natural inclination is to help him through this. But you're right that it's toxic and he needs a professional, and I realize now by writing it out just how manipulative he can be.

I appreciate your frank advice, and I realize now that I can't be the one to "save" him. He has to save himself.

[bf1997]

Thank you -- I called the Counselling & Pyschological Services here on campus. I will be talking to the Dean of Students as well...hopefully putting him on the university's radar will ease my feelings of responsibility since someone OTHER than me is aware of his feelings.

[Wiseman2]

You are overstepping your boundaries. He's not a child so stop acting like his mother. It's unethical to call anyone on his behalf or discuss him. Being a nurse/health care provider is not being a doormat and having no boundaries. You will burn out before you get started.

When you make that call to Counselling & Psychological Services make an appointment for yourself. And if you contact the Dean of Students address your own major issues. You need to stop this crazy 'fix him' mission. You're obsessed and you're the one who could use some counselling for that. Stop revolving your life around him/his problems. You are heading into stalking and controlling territory if you make crazy calls like that "for him'.

Thank you -- I called the Counselling & Pyschological Services here on campus. I will be talking to the Dean of Students as well...hopefully putting him on the university's radar will ease my feelings of responsibility since someone OTHER than me is aware of his feelings.

[ThatwasThen]

IMO: There is absolutely nothing wrong with warning proper officials about someone who is threatening suicide and then washing one's hands of it after that.