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Thread: Please help me move on from a crush

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by HeartRemedy
    Well one reason I think she only likes me as a friend
    So you are ready to date again, you are just afraid of rejection because you are not presently strong enough to take it, fresh off a break up. Those are different things. If you are not ready to date, that is one thing. That is not what is going on here. Be honest with yourself. If you are still feeling shaky that is OK. Do not share that info with her. Instead keep talking to her, actually talking not texting or DM, live in person communication. Flirt with her. Gage her reaction. See if she flirts back. Drop something into the conversation about does her BF mind her talking you? Her response to that should give you clear info about whether she's open to dating you or has already friendzoned you. You are having a confidence problem. You will get over it, once you try again.

  2. #12
    Bronze Member WaywardKiwi's Avatar
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    Hi again Heartremedy,

    I wanted to add that if you do want to pursue this girl, I agree with TeeDee and Smackie. Go for it and make your intention clear. The middle path is the most self-destructive; either take the risk, or walk away. Don't hover in that limbo state inbetween.

    However, I took the time to read through your previous posts, and I honestly feel that you are not probably not ready to date again (based only on that information). I usually don't draw such hard conclusions here, and I don't know for sure, but in my opinion you have not really had time to process and transition back into single life after your long-term relationship ended abrutly and for confusing reasons. This current interest has already invoked some nostalgia over the past before even getting off the ground. I feel you may be idealising here and seeking to 'fill a space' as someone pointed out in your other thread.

    Ultimately, it is your choice, and whichever path you choose I wish you all the luck in the world,

    T

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by WaywardKiwi
    Hi again Heartremedy,

    I wanted to add that if you do want to pursue this girl, I agree with TeeDee and Smackie. Go for it and make your intention clear. The middle path is the most self-destructive; either take the risk, or walk away. Don't hover in that limbo state inbetween.

    However, I took the time to read through your previous posts, and I honestly feel that you are not probably not ready to date again (based only on that information). I usually don't draw such hard conclusions here, and I don't know for sure, but in my opinion you have not really had time to process and transition back into single life after your long-term relationship ended abrutly and for confusing reasons. This current interest has already invoked some nostalgia over the past before even getting off the ground. I feel you may be idealising here and seeking to 'fill a space' as someone pointed out in your other thread.

    Ultimately, it is your choice, and whichever path you choose I wish you all the luck in the world,

    T
    Thanks. Yes I agree. I don't think I'm ready either.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by smackie9
    Dude seriously? So you have this girl that has been receptive, initiating, but you buckle at the knees and give up. Why are you making the decision for her? Why don't you let her by simply asking her out? You know how many threads I have seen from women who are upset and confused about a guy that shows them interest but never asks them out? tons of them. You know why she stopped initiating? because she's done enough, and you didn't make a move so she's given up on you. You can't keep going through life like this. Rejection is part of life, but the risk can produce great reward....a yes to a date! how exciting that would be no?
    So I texted her today and unlike before now she's taking an eternity to respond. I guess she's not interested anymore anyway

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by HeartRemedy
    So my plan was to text and her let her know what's going on, that I like her but I want to move on, so I won't be talking to her as much for a while and not to take it personally.
    Don't do it. It sounds irrational and completely out of proportion to your interactions with this woman.

    Seeing someone at a gym is not a tragedy. Treating it like one is your own problem, not hers. Don't hold that up as some banner to shoot fireworks around to call attention to it--that's just a perfect way to embarrass yourself once reality sets in.

    Public spaces are not therapeutic environments. Say hello to the people you pass, or not--but don't invent some drama in your head about someone who's only mistake has been to treat you kindly whenever your paths cross.

    Please don't hesitate to seek help from someone who's trained in this stuff to bring you back to reality. Meanwhile, don't project illusions onto this woman, and you will thank yourself later.

  7. #16
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    No, no, no! You will come off as strange.

    Just say hello, and do your workout.

  8. #17
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    Ask her out.

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