Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 15 of 15

Thread: Are we over? Itís been 2 weeks

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    1,043
    He's forcing you to stick to your original statement of your no longer texting him. When he said, "OK," he meant it. His definition to his answer to you was: "It's over." He went back to sleep after that.

    Never underestimate others nor call their bluff. Be careful.

    In the future, make sure the guy you're dating doesn't only text. See what he's like. Is he a good in person conversationalist? Is he fine with phone chats? You need to check these things out instead of proceeding with the relationship and finding this out later!

    You don't know if there's someone else in his life. There's no point guessing.

    Navigate yourself more wisely in the future. Be smart.

  2. #12
    Bronze Member LootieTootie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Location
    California
    Age
    35
    Posts
    227
    Gender
    Female
    Looks like you were a bootie call from the get go and that's why he didn't want the relationship to go any further than the bedroom.

    If I were you, I would just let this one go and take this as a lesson.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    1,601
    Gender
    Female
    From the post, I actually didn't just straight out get the impression that he wasn't interested or she was a booty call. They went on a number of dates in two months and he contacted her every other day. That is perfectly fine in early stages of dating, it's a normal pace. When you're still getting to know each other, you need to take it slow and not bombard the person and scare them away. So messaging every other day and seeing each other once or twice a week is fine. Texting the person all day every day and meeting every day is just too full-on.

    You were actually very demanding and self fixated because YOU like phone calls, he doesn't. People may prefer different forms of communication and there may be legitimate reasons as to why that is. My fiance and also a friend suffer from anxiety and they both have anxiety about speaking on the phone. So they hate phone calls. I actually hate chatting on MSN Messenger but I don't mind texting. Everyone is different and yes it's OK to say how you feel but not just crudely demand: "Do as I say or it's over". Which is essentially what you were doing. You were ordering him to prefer YOUR method of communication. What if it was the other way around and he said texting was the way to go and he was dictating you only to text? If it was him saying your opinion was bad, how would you feel?

    I actually think that while sufficient in between, all forms of communication other than in person are inferior to being with someone face-to-face. If anything you should have been asking him to have more dates and get to know each other in real life. Then you basically just lost it and said "we are not cool". I mean what was he meant to do? You were acting a bit too high maintenance so early on and who needs to be yelled at just because they're more of a texted than a phone call person.

  4. #14
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Location
    Southwest
    Posts
    563
    Gender
    Female
    I don't know that you were "all that" in his mind when you flew off the handle, let alone before, and he probably was thinking, "next" and that he does not need to deal with a drama queen.

    I agree that you were quick to pull the trigger and if this relationship were going in a different direction, he might have stepped back up to the plate; however, I think you accelerated what quite possibly was not going to work out in the long run. I can't say one way or the other, but you had already expressed that you would like a phone call or two instead of texting, and he refused to meet you in the middle, let alone a 20/80 split or 10/90, you know? It makes me feel that while he liked you, you really didn't hit that top tier, and he wasn't even willing to try. Granted, if he thinks you're going to get "psycho like his ex" (or mom or sister), he probably exited stage left without much thought...the answer is no. I tend to lean towards texting, but at my age, most of us grew up in the land of phones with cords, and most prefer phone calls...and I will comply...basically I expect some compromise. I've dated a few who don't bend on whatever it is, at all, and you hang out for awhile to see if your relationship grows in a way things can change, combine, blend...and if it doesn't, you need to make a choice if this will work for you long-term.

    The guy did sound pretty great, so lesson learned - don't toss out ultimatums and end relationships as some sort of threat or calling it off...they may just take you up on it because frankly, who needs the headache? BUT...there's always a "but"...I do question his dedication to building something with you to a) not compromise at all; and b) quickly jump off the wagon at the second of conflict. He may not be the Prince Charming you thought he was. We will never know. He'll circle back around if you really sparked something in him...or he may circle back around as a back burner, or booty call...again...we don't know. If he does come back around, be careful that you're not just a filler.

  5.  

  6. #15
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    22,175
    Gender
    Female
    We never had the talk but know we are not dating anyone else because we are having sex.
    This assumption is your first mistake. If you're not comfortable enough with someone to talk about where you both stand with one another, then why would you believe that sex implies the same degree of loyalty from him that it does for you?

    The guy showed you his phone limits. You made it clear that those weren't enough for you, and the guy opted out. That doesn't make you 'wrong,' it just means that you were prematurely invested in someone who wasn't right for you.

    Going forward, talk more about what you're looking for in dating, and learn whether the guy is looking for the same things. From there, make communication a priority as you learn about one another--before sex.

    Speaking only for myself, I bond when I have sex. So it's really important for me to learn enough about someone to make informed choices about who, exactly, I'll want to bond WITH. It makes no sense to sleep first, ask questions later.

    Head high, we all live and learn.

  7. 09-02-2019, 11:20 PM

Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •