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Thread: Are we over? Itís been 2 weeks

  1. #1

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    Are we over? Itís been 2 weeks

    I met this guy 2 months ago Iím 29 and heís 35. We connected instantly. We went on a few dates and I like him very much. We never had the talk but know we are not dating anyone else because we are having sex. We try to see each other once a week, he lives 45 minutes away. The problem is he never calls! Just text! We text every other day. I spoke to him about it and he says heís a texter and Iím not. So I went along because it was early and was hopeful later on weíll have a better communication style. But that didnít happen he insisted on just texting and one day I decided to call for the first time. He was sleeping and said he was calling back and never did. I got upset and told him he was not serious about me and if he wants to continue the relationship heíll have to call me, And I'm no longer texting. He said just ď okĒ. Because of his vague response I replied ďdonít text me anymore and we are no longer coolĒ. I know I was dramatic but Iíve been compromising. 2 days after I realized I was harsh I told him that I was thinking about him. He didnít reply. A week after I called him, he didnít answer. I sent one last message apologizing for my outburst and explaining my frustration because we canít possibly built a genuine connection through text and I like him and would like to get pass this and he did not reply. Heís not married Iíve been to his house, spent nights, make breakfast, go on dates. My friends think thereís someone else. Itís been two weeks since our fight is it over?

  2. #2
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    You told him you were "no longer cool" and then you went back on it?

    You panicked because you expected him to beg to keep seeing you. Or something. So you backpedaled. And it's not working.

    Next time, don't say things you don't mean to try to manipulate someone into doing what you want. Also, figure out what's important to you and if a man doesn't meet your requirements you move on instead of trying to play games.

    As for "are we over", well, you said you were. He's going by what you said.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Typically things are over when we end them. You ended them when you asked him not to text and told him you weren't cool. I'd take his disinterest in reengaging after that as a pretty clear sign that he isn't interested in anything but taking you at your word and accepting that you guys don't gel, rather than hopping back on the rollercoaster.

    Why, really, would you want this to be anything but over? Sounds like your very brief experience dating him wasn't very enjoyable.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Yeah I'd say it's over. Next time think before you speak or text.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. It sounds like he correctly understood that you dumped him because you prefer talking to texting. Not much more you can do. Are you sure you're ready to date? Your friends are wrong. He's not responding because you dumped him.

    Next time focus on in-person effort and reflect on where your anger is coming from. Also have an explicit exclusive talk rather than assuming anything. If someone's communication style bothers you this much, then you may not be compatible.
    Originally Posted by Lovelies
    Because of his vague response I replied ďdonít text me anymore and we are no longer coolĒ. 2 days after I realized I was harsh I told him that I was thinking about him. He didnít reply. A week after I called him, he didnít answer.

  7. #6
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    Yes, I would say it's over. According to your wishes and him not exactly being the man you hoped for.

    I realize you had regrets, but it's too late. I would encourage you to ask yourself if you really want him back, though. You were frustrated that never calls. This is something that is important to you, and was obviously causing some distress. He wasn't willing to meet you half-way on that. This would have become more of an issue over time, I suspect. There was an incompatibility in communication style.

    Might there be someone else in his life? It's possible. You say you know he wasn't dating anyone else because you two were having sex. But I have to ask, is that something you actually clarified with him, or an assumption you were making? People can of course say anything and it doesn't mean it's true, but I am wondering if he told you directly he wasn't dating anyone else.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    No, its done now. You asked for things to change, he didn't comply, you got upset and now it's done.

    It was 2 months in, no reason for either of you to be too attached.

    In some ways you got on, but on things you didn't, such as texting, he wasn't interested in compromising. Let it go.

    In future, no need to force. If he is a texter and you're not, and you've asked him nicely to call more and he hasn't, then he's not your guy.

  9. #8
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    It may be over but that is not necessarily a bad thing. You spoke up. You made your needs known. He was unwilling to compromise. You held fast to your self worth. Nothing in there is bad. Yes it's sad that you are no longer enjoying a loving relationship but you are now free to pursue a superior relationship with somebody who values you & your needs.

    As for your statement that you did not have the talk but you "knew" you were exclusive because you were sexually active, be careful. Assumptions like that can get you a broken heart &/or an STD. If you expect exclusivity you need to speak up. Not everybody equates sex with commitment.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Definitely not cool. Leave him alone. It is over. He may also have more than one residence.

  11. #10
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    He is not interested. Stop reaching out.

    You did not have compatible communication styles.

    How did you know you were exclusive? Having sex is not an indicator.

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