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Thread: I want my parents' marriage to work

  1. #11
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    What is a dmc?

    Children should NEVER be put in the middle of the parent's issues, that's just wrong. If you can move out, do it.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Are you sure your father is not rehearsing speeches for women he intends to cheat on your mother with? This kid of "wife's cold and doesn't understand me" is the typical cheater's drivel. It's not or your mother's job to make him happy.
    Originally Posted by Jacri
    I just want my dad to be happy.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Deep meaningful conversation...at 1am? That in itself is weird.
    Originally Posted by melancholy123
    What is a dmc?
    Originally Posted by Jacri
    Me and my dad had a dmc at like 1am a few days ago.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Attempting to pull sides or gain sympathy will just backfire on your father as he will appear whiny, inappropriate and suspect in his various complaints. If your mother is fed up with him, there may be very good reasons for it and how she behaves towards your father is not your business. Stay out of it as the others have mentioned and be neutral towards both of them, love them equally and don't take sides.

    Your emphasis should be on love and respect for both your parents. If your dad is feeling down show him that you love him by giving him a hug and do the same for your mum. You can explain to your dad you are not comfortable when he brings up topics about mum and you love both of them equally. Most adults/parents will step back and understand what they've done is inappropriate. Stop giving advice. That behaviour is inappropriate also coming from a child.

    Stay on top of your studies or your work if you're working and your goal should be self-sufficiency and growing up well outside the realm of your parents' influences. Show that you love them but take care of yourself.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    I agree with others, you've got to mind your own business. It's their marriage, not yours.

    Not that it's an excuse but bitterness and resentment erupts since your mother is the main breadwinner. Perhaps she has stress at work with her work and whom she works with everyday which spills over into her home life and marriage. If roles were reversed, perhaps it's your father who would act like your mother. Try empathy for your mother and your father has his part to play in the marriage. It's not all on your mother as there are two sides to every story.

    You need to play "Switzerland" and remain neutral. Be cordial and show respect to both parents. Let them work it out among themselves. Don't get involved in their marriage. Concentrate and focus on your own life. Whatever goes on is between your mother and father. Everyone else stays out.

  7. #16
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    Oh, OP! I feel for you so much. I was in the exact same position as you. My parents were desperately unhappy in their marriage and would both complain to me about their marital problems. I repeatedly asked them not to, but they kept doing it.

    It's very easy to say "stay out of it", but it's different when your parents are putting you in this position against your will. I would suggest gently advising your father to seek counseling and ask him not to include you in their arguments. This may or may not work.

    I'm glad you'll have some distance soon. That's important. Continue to distance yourself from their marriage as much as you are able.

    Best of Luck!

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