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Thread: When to expect someone to delete tinder

  1. #21
    Bronze Member
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    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    Rules of quick meets are that you interact for 20 minutes or so, and neither can corner the other by asking for a real date on the spot. Either can contact the other afterward with an invite, and if the answer is yes, the other responds, and if not, no response is necessary.
    Catfeeder, out of interest, how do you (or did you) set out those rules to the other person? (i.e. in the text of your profile? Or in the texts / in a phone call while arranging the meet? Or at the start of the meet itself?)
    And do / did you present them as 'rules' or as something a bit less formal sounding?

    I agree with you totally on short first meets etc and I think it's absolutely the right way to go about meeting people without getting hugely invested in time or emotions - I'm just curious as to how you put across a set of rules without making everything sound too rigid or formal.

  2. 09-02-2019, 11:10 PM

  3. #22
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MegaCharmed
    So true. so true. This times a million
    Agree!

    I also noticed when I was utilizing online dating that the quick to bring up sex guys never failed to show their a**. The hardest part about that for me was accepting the disappointment. You start talking to a guy, heís checking off all the boxes, the he suggests you watch a movie, etc. I had to learn to cut the cord immediately. Looking back, there is a stark difference between individuals who truly want to date you and those wasting your time, those who truly want to date you arenít going to risk you walking away by being stupid, like wasting your time etc.

  4. #23
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    Originally Posted by figureitout23
    Agree!

    I also noticed when I was utilizing online dating that the quick to bring up sex guys never failed to show their a**. The hardest part about that for me was accepting the disappointment. You start talking to a guy, heís checking off all the boxes, the he suggests you watch a movie, etc. I had to learn to cut the cord immediately. Looking back, there is a stark difference between individuals who truly want to date you and those wasting your time, those who truly want to date you arenít going to risk you walking away by being stupid, like wasting your time etc.
    Yes -my bar was high too -any mention of something sexual, buh bye including "oh are you in your PJs yet -what are you wearing?" After we'd been on some dates and knew each other then sure it's fun to banter. Could not agree more with FIO23!!

  5. #24
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Ian4996
    Catfeeder, out of interest, how do you (or did you) set out those rules to the other person? (i.e. in the text of your profile? Or in the texts / in a phone call while arranging the meet? Or at the start of the meet itself?)
    And do / did you present them as 'rules' or as something a bit less formal sounding?

    I agree with you totally on short first meets etc and I think it's absolutely the right way to go about meeting people without getting hugely invested in time or emotions - I'm just curious as to how you put across a set of rules without making everything sound too rigid or formal.
    I've never put it in a profile, but somewhere along the line in messaging, after I've already set a friendly tone, I'll ask if they're up for a quick-meet--and if they know what that is. If they don't know, I'll explain that it's like a playful round of speed-dating without a line of other people to meet. The typical rules are... (what I said in the other post) ... but I invite them to add any rules of their own.

    Since this method of meeting is gaining popularity, lots of people already know what it is. Then it's just a matter of asking if they've ever done it, and what kind of rules would work best for them.

    It's a negotiation, but you really need clarity about what rules you won't meet without. I don't want to get cornered into accepting or turning down a real date on the spot, and I don't want expectations that I must respond to an invite afterward. Since most people are NOT a good match, I don't want the squirm factor of rejecting anyone.

    EnjOy!

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