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Thread: Confused - is he actually interested

  1. #1

    Confused - is he actually interested

    I need some help, I can't figure out if this guy I've been chatting to is actually interested or not. Our texting admittedly hasnt been great, it's still quite superficial and disjointed. He generally takes several hours or even a day to respond back claiming he's been very busy. He's a doctor so i understand they are quite busy people.

    There was a period where i didnt hear from him for a few days and i thought that was it. But he reached out and said that he had been quite sick with the flu. So we started chatting again. Then he disappeared for a week and again i thought it's done for good. But he reached out a few days ago and was apologetic, again claiming work has been crazy.

    So i thought i would give him the benefit of the doubt. However, the chats aren't going anywhere. In fact it seems worse. He doesn't respond until the next day and when he does they are quite short and no effort in trying to get to know me more or at the very least continue the flow of the conversation.

    I can see that he logs on to the chat app regularly throughout the day. So i cant help but wonder why he takes ages to respond.

    Ultimately i feel he's not really interested due to his lack of responses and minimal engagement. But then he reaches out if there hasn't been contact in a while. So then i think maybe he's just a really bad texter because if he wasn't really interested he didn't have to reach out and things would have ended.

    I haven't asked him directly if he's interested. Just in case he is genuinely busy and then i just end up scaring him off.

    Should i persevere with this and hope things pick up or should i just move on? I'm so confused.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
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    Have you met this guy?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    No, he's not interested. A guy who is, will make that crystal clear. Don't you want to date someone whose available at least once a week to get together with? You have no time invested, so it's so easy to walk away from someone who clearly frustrates you. Why choose to stick around for someone who has no time date, or is keeping you on the back burner if Date #1 and #2 don't pan out?

  4. #4
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    If you have not been on dates, i would stop communicating. If he was interested, he would have asked you out. Busy people don't sit and text a woman all day. They are busy so they move in to getting a date quickly as possible and then so if its not a match, they look elsewhere. Unless you live a distance away or something.

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  6. #5
    Thanks for the responses. I haven't met him. I tried organising a couple of times but of course he was busy. Normally i would have moved on much earlier in these situations but because i was hoping it would lead to a date I've been continuing.

    I know deep down he most likely isn't interested . but i guess there was that little bit in me hoping he might be since he texts when i haven't said anything in a while.

    But you're all right i need to move on. He's clearly not interested and just needed to hear it from other people.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    That's not a nice feeling when someone wastes your time like that. I wouldn't be surprised if he's not what he says he is. You may have fallen for the idea that he's an esteemed doctor (of what we do not know) and has some special code he lives by like a samurai. The Hippocratic oath does not give him license to take advantage of others. He is a regular person just like you or I and he shouldn't be leading you on.

    Let this one go. Good job for putting yourself out there in the first place. Dust yourself off and enjoy meeting new people.
    Last edited by Rose Mosse; 08-30-2019 at 11:47 PM.

  8. #7
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    If a date has not been set up in the first two weeks, then move on.
    Don't waste so much time on people you haven't even met!

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Have you met in person? It sounds like he's a catfish, scammer or married. Never get hooked on texting. Texting is not dating. Dating is dating. Nobody is "too busy" to do what they are really interested in doing.

    Meet in person. Delete this catfish and move forward.
    Originally Posted by Foodmonster
    texting admittedly hasnt been great, it's still quite superficial and disjointed. He generally takes several hours or even a day to respond back claiming he's been very busy. He's a doctor so i understand they are quite busy people.

    the chats aren't going anywhere. In fact it seems worse. He doesn't respond until the next day and when he does they are quite short and no effort in trying to get to know me more or at the very least continue the flow of the conversation.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by Foodmonster
    I haven't met him. I tried organising a couple of times but of course he was busy.

    But you're all right i need to move on. He's clearly not interested and just needed to hear it from other people.
    As a general proposition you can't tell much from texting alone, especially the pace. However, when he's always slow to respond & has rebuffed your attempts to meet, you have to conclude that this is a lost cause. Sorry.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    He's a doctor and extremely busy!

    No, don't persevere with this. He's uninterested, too. Yes, move on.


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