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Thread: Need Advice ASAP

  1. #1

    Need Advice ASAP

    Hi everyone,
    My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. We have known one another for 8yrs. Three months into the relationship I made a smart remark, I just had gotten home from work and my boyfriend was in the shower, I was making a drink and needed a straw. The straws were in the kitchen on the top shelf and I couldn't reach them, he had a friend over that was staying for a couple of days. I asked him if he could please help bring them down. In the mean time my boyfriend was in the shower then he came out went to the room to change. After getting a straw I went to the room when I opened the door in a stern voice my boyfriend asked "who were you talking to?" My response was "my other boyfriend, who else would I be talking to!" Six months later after that day he keeps bringing up that day and convinced himself that I wanted his friend and still wants to be with his friend and thinks we have started a relationship together since that day. I have no intentions of ever being with that person ever! Is there some way I can get through my boyfriend's head that all it was was a smart remark?
    Thank you for your help and suggestions!

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I'm afraid not. He's deeply insecure and punishing you for it. What you may do in the meantime, as this relationship slowly unravels, is to remain sane, firm and keep your outside activities with friends and your hobbies going. Don't put your life on hold.

    By staying with him you should also realize that you may be enabling him and encouraging his insecurities. There is a difference between severe (real) deception/lies/duplicity and perceived deception and making someone feel like they have to constantly make up for indiscretions that are relatively minor or have never existed due to misunderstanding and lack of trust.

    Have you done anything prior (divulged any information you may have done in your past/past relationships to him) that may cause him to view you in a distrustful way?

  3. #3
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    Wow! I'm sure this is not the first time this has happened. He is super insecure. This not about you.

    If you decide to stay with him. Do not indulge this. Tell him not to being it up again. Stop enabling this nonsense.

    I do not see a future with somone with so many insecurities. You will always be walking on eggshells with him.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    In a stern voice, tell him to grow up and get over it, it was a joke.
    Originally Posted by Apineda0783
    I opened the door in a stern voice my boyfriend asked "who were you talking to?" Six months later after that day he keeps bringing up that day and convinced himself that I wanted his friend and still wants to be with his friend and thinks we have started a relationship together since that day.

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  6. #5
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    Itís not good he doesnít trust you, which is all on his insecurities. I echo the above posters. You need to set him straight and tell him is jealousy and trust issues need to be worked on, if not itís best you two part ways. I hate to say it but itís not going to get any better if heís already behaving this way.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    In a stern voice, tell him to grow up and get over it, it was a joke.
    This. For crying out loud it was months ago... enough already.

    Also try not to let it get under your skin... next time he brings it up just ignore it or walk away.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Good advice above but Wiseman2 said it best and it's what I would say to your bf. He needs to grow up and get over it.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Next time he brings it up, look at him like this "O.o" and then go out with the girls. Kiss him goodbye, tell him you love him and when you'll be home. Say NOTHING in response to his whine. Do this every time he whines about it.

    Or: You could just tell him you are NOT having this conversation again. Period. Do not respond to anything about it again after that.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    It was a really tasteless thing to joke about. I mean, let's be honest here.

    However your boyfriend is taking it too far.

  11. #10
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    I don't see it as a big deal. She was joking around. If the guy wasnt so insecure, he wouldn't have had a thought about it.

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