Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 4 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast
Results 31 to 40 of 46

Thread: Boyfriend's Dad Has No Boundaries

  1. #31
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    22,088
    I read your history.

    It seems that your bf doesn't have any boundaries, either! Why are you still with someone who has cheated on you multiple times? I don't get it!

  2. #32
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Central Canada
    Posts
    14,190
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by pinkyankovic
    I am in a sexless relationship. We have been together 3 years and live together. We were not always sexless... before we were "officially" together, we had sex multiple times a day for months. It stopped altogether when we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend. I continued to try to initiate, but he just is no longer interested. It makes me feel awful about myself and the relationship will not continue forever. I know that there are people out there that it can work for, but I'm 23, unmarried, and a very sexual person. I think what is attractive about our relationship is that it basically functions like best friends who are also roommates. We do everything together. He is extremely attached to my family. When we do have sex, which is maybe once about every 2 months, it is AWESOME -- which is why I hate that he never wants to do it. I've wrestled with myself for a while about how sex functions in a relationship, I've even cheated to get my needs met, and I think that later in my life I could see myself being happy in this sort of arrangement; but for now, this ain't it sis. ;)
    Pinky, Pinky, Pinky. Why are you even with this boyfriend never mind putting up with his barging in father? Whats going on with you, really? What's up, girl?

  3. #33
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    22,088
    Have you dealt with your alcoholism?

  4. #34
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    22,088
    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    Pinky, Pinky, Pinky. Why are you even with this boyfriend never mind putting up with his barging in father? Whats going on with you, really? What's up, girl?
    I do not understand this situation!

  5.  

  6. #35
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    36,676
    Gender
    Male
    Refusal to provide a written lease is also illegal. You really need to educate yourself on appropriate laws and enforce them. There's nothing attractive about this roommate situation if his pervert father keeps breaking and entering to get a glimpse of his son's females roommates nubile flesh and the equally dirty old man "bf" encourages/condones it. You are acting like a live in maid and paying for it, what's the point? Are you afraid of something like living alone or with decent people?

    There is nothing attractive about this entire scenario.
    Originally Posted by pinkyankovic
    I am in a sexless relationship. We have been together 3 years and live together. I'm 23, unmarried, and a very sexual person. I think what is attractive about our relationship is that it basically functions like best friends who are also roommates.

    I've even cheated to get my needs met,

  7. #36
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    22,088
    "There is hardly any ever intimacy (less than once a month; I used to try to initiate often but he mocked me whenever I did, and the rejection was damaging my self-esteem so much that I stopped trying altogether).

    He has cheated on me many times, pretty much whenever he gets the chance (even if one of us is only away for the day like off at work). This has affected me greatly since I've put off getting a job after graduating college (where I excelled, graduated with honors and won an award for my thesis). I used to be excited about my career, but now a career just feels like it will occupy me while he betrays me. Whenever my head is turned, he is usually doing something that will hurt me. As it would, this has created a vast trust issue for me.

    I have lost a great deal of friends since college; most of them have moved away. It feels like he is my only support system, which is why I've come here. We get in nasty arguments when he cheats on me, and then at the end of the argument, I feel I have nowhere else to go he's still standing there.

    It is a vicious, never-ending cycle. I finally got fed up with the cheating last year, broke up with him, moved to a different apartment in a different neighborhood. He called me multiple times a day begging for me back. I was severely depressed and did not have a support system. We started hanging out again and he was like brand new. Everything was perfect until we officially got back together, and then the behavior started again.

    I go through his phone on an almost daily basis, and every single time I find something gut-wrenching. For example, I know he's going on a date this coming week. He refuses to have any sort of public recognition of our relationship, and doesn't even follow me on social media. This means no pictures, no likes, no comments. I'm a very attractive young woman and don't think that this stems from him being embarrassed of being with me, rather him wanting to look available to other girls, and social media is often where he finds them. When I've confronted him about blatantly obvious evidence, he denies everything and says he's never cheated on me. I feel like I've been going crazy for years, and feel like I really messed up by moving back in with him, but am so tired of being uprooted and moving around."


    This is so disturbing. The father is the least of your problems. What in the world are you doing with your life!? Did you get a job?

    I hope you use condoms and get tested regularly. You relationship is sick and emotionally abusive.

    You do realize that your bf does not respect or love you.
    Last edited by Hollyj; 08-30-2019 at 03:05 PM.

  8. #37
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    24,497
    Gender
    Female
    By law, a landlord needs to give 24 hours notice except in emergencies (fire, apartment flood - extreme stuff like that.) It sounds like since he lives an hour away, he is using your unit sort of as the landlord office - i get that he needs a place to use the bathroom and base himself out of when he is there, but I would not like it. I think that its not enough for your boyfriend just to talk to him on the phone. He needs to physically be there and divert him. I agree get a traveler's lock.

    Honestly, i really think you should look into moving. But i wonder if you did move whether dad would do the same wherever his son lived.

  9. #38
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    24,497
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    "There is hardly any ever intimacy (less than once a month; I used to try to initiate often but he mocked me whenever I did, and the rejection was damaging my self-esteem so much that I stopped trying altogether).

    He has cheated on me many times, pretty much whenever he gets the chance (even if one of us is only away for the day like off at work). This has affected me greatly since I've put off getting a job after graduating college (where I excelled, graduated with honors and won an award for my thesis). I used to be excited about my career, but now a career just feels like it will occupy me while he betrays me. Whenever my head is turned, he is usually doing something that will hurt me. As it would, this has created a vast trust issue for me.

    I have lost a great deal of friends since college; most of them have moved away. It feels like he is my only support system, which is why I've come here. We get in nasty arguments when he cheats on me, and then at the end of the argument, I feel I have nowhere else to go he's still standing there.

    It is a vicious, never-ending cycle. I finally got fed up with the cheating last year, broke up with him, moved to a different apartment in a different neighborhood. He called me multiple times a day begging for me back. I was severely depressed and did not have a support system. We started hanging out again and he was like brand new. Everything was perfect until we officially got back together, and then the behavior started again.

    I go through his phone on an almost daily basis, and every single time I find something gut-wrenching. For example, I know he's going on a date this coming week. He refuses to have any sort of public recognition of our relationship, and doesn't even follow me on social media. This means no pictures, no likes, no comments. I'm a very attractive young woman and don't think that this stems from him being embarrassed of being with me, rather him wanting to look available to other girls, and social media is often where he finds them. When I've confronted him about blatantly obvious evidence, he denies everything and says he's never cheated on me. I feel like I've been going crazy for years, and feel like I really messed up by moving back in with him, but am so tired of being uprooted and moving around."


    This is so disturbing. The father is the least of your problems. What in the world are you doing with your life!? Did you get a job?

    I hope you use condoms and get tested regularly. You relationship is sick and emotionally abusive.
    I agree. you should move out - by yourself, without the boyfriend

  10. #39
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Posts
    2,053
    Move out, what exactly makes you want to be there?

    No intimacy, intrusive landlord/BF's father?

  11. #40
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Wilds of Texas
    Posts
    10,133
    Gender
    Female
    Someone who cheats on you is NOT your support system. Being single is a better support system. Get your stuff and move to Jersey - by yourself. Period. Be single, get your head screwed on straight, get a job, work on finding hobbies and new friends. Friends moving away from you will happen your entire life. You do not respond to that by getting into an abusive relationship (yes cheating is a form of abuse) with a man old enough to be your dad. That is just gross. On top of that, this man's own father is also some old creep who comes around randomly to gawk at you. Talk about the apple not falling far from the tree. Like father like son. This entire situation is beyond disturbing.

    Seriously.....grow up OP. It's high time. You have way bigger issues than this creepy old man creeping around you...literally. Unless there is something you perversely enjoy about this situation and get off on yourself....LEAVE. Now. Today. NOTHING is stopping except yourself.

Page 4 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •