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Thread: She wants me to be friends with the rebound

  1. #1
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    She wants me to be friends with the rebound

    So long story short we broke up after 10 years. She rebounded within 2 weeks with a guy we both knew. So itís been about 4 months. She always gives me breadcrumbs about getting back together. She tells me how much of a good friend the rebound is and how she doesnít want to lose him for good. She says she wants us(the rebound and I) to be friends if we do get back together. I disagree I donít think itís right. But my question is, is this immature? Has anyone else done this? I donít feel like I could trust them

    Right now Iím not feeling reconciliation. Too much has happened. She would really have to prove herself.

  2. #2
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    Yes, she is immature and unemphatic. She is in fact disrespecting you hugely and you might not even realise it.

    I advise you to tell her you're not open to ANYTHING (no relationship, friendship or even speaking) as long as that other guy is in the picture and then just walk away. Don't try to argue. It's what you want and she'll contact you down the road if she changes her mind. If she does contact you then, be extremely critical. Her respect for you starts with respect for yourself.

  3. #3
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    She's with her currant bf. Leave her alone and avoid the heartache.
    Originally Posted by Empof401
    She rebounded within 2 weeks with a guy we both knew. So itís been about 4 months.

  4. #4
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    Never be Plan B

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  6. #5
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    Your ex is a complete mind*ck! I am assuming she was always a selfish and cruel jerk.

    I do not understand why you have not gone no contact? Why are you putting yourself through this?

  7. #6
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    You failed to mention that she wants you to be friends with the guy she cheated on you with. C'mon, dude! What happened to your self respect!?

    You need to be done with her and focus on your children.

  8. #7
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    Are you still sleeping with her, as she is still with the other guy? What a messed up situation, especially for the kids.

    You should only be in contact regarding the kids, and she should NOT be staying with you. Does she still have you on rotation with her bf and sister?

  9. #8
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    I might be going mad but i can't see any reference to having kids unless OP has edited?

    ANyway you shouldnt be friends with him, get some self respect man. If you have kids contact her ONLY regarding them. If you dont have kids block and delete!

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by ninjabib
    I might be going mad but i can't see any reference to having kids unless OP has edited?

    ANyway you shouldnt be friends with him, get some self respect man. If you have kids contact her ONLY regarding them. If you dont have kids block and delete!
    I looked into the history. I think he omitted by choice.

  11. #10
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    Here it is:

    "10 years 2 kids left me for another man advice please
    I need some advice. So after a 10 year relationship and 2 kids 27m 26f. Relationship was pretty good imo vacations, laughter good times. I got laid off last year was on unemployment and in school for a year during this time it was very stressful on the both of us I admit. I also admit I neglected her in some ways I wasnít doing things around the house or helping with the kids as much as I could. All the signs were there, her attitude changed, she started going out all the time. As soon as I finished school and got on my feet she hit me with the ďI need space to find myself, blah blahĒ she has been unhappy with herself, her job, her life for a while and I feel sheís projecting that too. Prior to the breakup I started finding pics of her and some dude and phone calls. 2 weeks later confirmed she is sleeping with him she says it got physical after but she definitely emotionally cheated. Lies on lies on lies. I know the love was real and I wasnít the most faithful early on in the relationship. She tells me all these bread crumbsĒ Iím her soulmate,In the future.Ē I donít think itís going to last with her and this guy. I understand she cheated and has shown me sheís untrustworthy but a part of me does feel it was just the toll of this last year. I think I could forgive her. At first I was begging and pleading but now realize how pathetic that is considering the situation. Iím now in limited contact. She told me she fears losing me itís like she doesnít want me to move on. Later admitted she just needed to see whatís out there I donít know if itís gigs or what. She acts overly nice now that Iíve put my foot down and wished her the best. I donít get it. My question is would you guys take someone back in this situation. She comes between my place,her sisters, and the rebounds. I really love this woman and we have 2 beautiful children. What are the chances of fixing things. Itís been 3 months now a lot of personal progress has been made Iím pretty neutral about things

    Update: we ended up drinking together and sleeping together. my curiousity got the best of me and I went through her phone and seen a bunch of things I shouldnít have about her and the rebound among others. I ended up messaging rebound letting him know where I stand because I found out he was around my children. I know I shouldnít have. She was very upset saying I ruined things between them(which I doubt) Iím the core of most of their convos.

    Also understand that I understand I shouldnít be waiting and focus on moving on which I am.

    I know that since she cheated and left me for someone else I should have self respect l, dignity, value. Iím working on that Iíve realized my worth. Not ready to date yet but almost there.

    We have been together since high school she has had a decent amount of partners but I do see that the relationship got boring I couldnít do as much because of my work/school situation

    She seems so obsessed with the rebound seeing him everyday so much to the point of neglecting her children. Is this normal? Is she in love? Is it the newness? Gigs?

    But my questions are
    ēwhat are the chances of us getting back together we were together since high school and I feel like if the relationship was that bad she would have left a long time ago

    ēshould I believe in second chances?

    ēShe seems so obsessed with the rebound seeing him everyday so much to the point of neglecting her children. Is this normal? Is she in love? Is it the newness? Gigs? Will this fade itís terrible to see how she swoons.

    * can you really get over someone you have children with?
    * Do these things make relationships stronger I feel deep down that itís a test and that we will be back together(she also says the same thing but also says rebound may be something more). Or I may be delusional"

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