Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 12 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 111

Thread: Sexless marriage???

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2019
    Posts
    90
    Gender
    Male

    Sexless marriage???

    As my title says,,,sexless marriages
    Do they work?
    Is anybody in one, if so how does this work for you?

    Is there absolutely zero sexual activity in your marriage?

  2. #2
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    53
    Posts
    36,997
    Gender
    Female
    Yes they work. Since I went through menopause and my husband takes SSRIís neither of us care for sex but we have great great emotional intimacy and attraction and romantic feelings for each other.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    12,383
    If BOTH parties are fine with zero sex.

    However, according to your previous thread you very much desire sex with your wife.

    Real question is...can YOU live the rest of your life without sex?

  4. #4
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Ontario Canada
    Posts
    6,019
    Gender
    Female
    It's very difficult when one half has no interest in sex and the other feels starved for it.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2019
    Posts
    90
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    If BOTH parties are fine with zero sex.

    However, according to your previous thread you very much desire sex with your wife.

    Real question is...can YOU live the rest of your life without sex?
    Iím asking as Iím wondering if itís something I should think about due to the fact I donít want to loose my wife.
    Yes I do desire sex but what Iím looking to know does people in sexless marriages have absolutely no sexual activity whatsoever.
    Iím trying to cover all my options if Iím going to try and accept a compromise if thatís even possible.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Location
    British Columbia, Canada
    Posts
    2,856
    Gender
    Female
    Why overthink it? Just chill on the sex topic for awhile and let things settle down between the both of you. I haven't followed your whole other thread but you seem extremely consumed by it (to the point of obsession). Most obsessive thoughts are unattractive.

    What irony would it be if, for example, you gave up all thought of it and she started warming up to the idea in a few months or next year?

  8. #7
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2019
    Posts
    90
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    Why overthink it? Just chill on the sex topic for awhile and let things settle down between the both of you. I haven't followed your whole other thread but you seem extremely consumed by it (to the point of obsession). Most obsessive thoughts are unattractive.

    What irony would it be if, for example, you gave up all thought of it and she started warming up to the idea in a few months or next year?
    There is no obsession trust me, you obviously donít know me from Adam and I do appreciate your input so I donít mean to offend you in any way as this is not my intention.
    It has been months, April this year was the last time and this is the reason Iím so worried about whatís going on and also trying my hardest to understand.
    If I had an explanation it would help us work on it but Iím getting no feedback or help to understand.

  9. #8
    Silver Member MirrorKnight's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Posts
    312
    Gender
    Male
    I guess it depends on your age and libido.

    I am currently in my early 30s, my sex drive is already lower than before my depression issues in my 20s, though I am not sure if this is because of aging, or residual effects of depression. I remember when I had a girlfriend at university, I would get the urge pretty much whenever we were alone together somewhere private... and it wasn't especially unusual to have two or three "goes" in the evening before going to sleep.

    Now there are actually occasionally days when I am not particularly in the mood. If my girlfriend initiates, I do physically respond and reciprocate, but sometimes I get too tired and lose "it" before I finish. If we occasionally do it more than once a night, I usually need quite a while to recover in-between.

    Extrapolating this trend, I suspect by the time I am 40, I would probably be okay with once a week. By the time I am 50, I would probably be okay with just sex on special occasions. By 55-60, I doubt I would find anyone close to my age physically attractive enough to do the deed, so I would be fine with a sexless marriage at that point.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    35,782
    Gender
    Male
    You just got back together after major marital conflicts. Now you're giving her "space" (withdrawing/giving up, doing what you want). But... no marriage therapy, no romance and no attempt to improve the marriage.

    Very often "sexless marriage" is the prelude to and justification for cheating. This thread is obviously rhetorical and some sort of justification for whatever it is you are driving at.

    She resents you, you resent her, the contempt and disrespect are rampant and you're wondering why there's no intimacy? You don't need a survey with invasive personal questions to figure out your marriage is still on the rocks, do you? Ask your therapist.
    Originally Posted by Timeout74
    Is there absolutely zero sexual activity in your marriage?

  11. #10
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    12,383
    I'm in my mid 50s and my libido has not dropped one bit. AnD yes, I am experiencing symptoms of "the change" (night sweats, so much fun!) but it hasn't lowered at all.

    I will say that lack of sex was a major contributor to my decision to divorce my husband. I desired him (he's very attractive ) but he wasn't interested. I want sex in a relationship/marriage.

    Again, both partners would have to be OK with either no sex or with some kind of "compromise".

Page 1 of 12 1234 ... LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •