Girlfriend left me suddenly, with no reason given and she's ignoring me.

I was seeing my girlfriend for six months, and at the weekend she disappeared suddenly with no contact or reason given. I've been trying to get in touch with her but she is ignoring my messages and not answering my calls.

The relationship became intense very quickly, and she told me that she loved me and had not fallen for somebody as fast as she did for me. I felt the same. Over the last couple of weeks she was distant with me and didn't want to see me as much as she usually did. I asked what was going on and all she said was she was feeling low and needed some space. On Friday I messaged her asking if everything was ok between us, she replied and said it was but maybe we should break up because she felt her being distant was unfair on me. I said I wanted to meet up to talk about it, and didn't want it to end especially not by a message. She agreed and said we would meet but that was the last I've heard from her. She's active online and is posting on social media so I know she is ok, and she is purposefully ignoring me.

I love her and don't want to lose her, but I would at least accept it's over if we had a chance to talk and to say goodbye. It's killing me that I might not get closure or a goodbye or know what is going on with her and I can't concentrate on anything else. Any advice on how to get through this would be appreciated. Thanks.

Sorry dude but she's clearly moved on from you.

She is clearly an emotion-driven and self centered individual. The same personality that made her get intense with you quickly probably also made her fall for somebody else intensely a few weeks ago when she got distant with you. She kept you in her orbit whilst she tested waters to see if the new guy would accept her, and once she was sure that she didn't need or want you anymore, she dumped you.

She is completely selfish, irresponsible, cowardly and probably hiding all sorts of internalized insecurities and other issues. No big loss, you dodged a bullet. It might hurt for now, but just imagine how bad it would be if you got her pregnant and ended up being responsible for a woman like this?! You're a man, you got laid, now you are free to pursue somebody new. It's worked out pretty well for ya

I too get the impression that there may have been a third party involved and that while things seemerd amazing between you, as she started to feel the buzz of the relationship waning, she legged it off to someone else to get that high feeling again. Likely, she will do the same to that person.

This can be a common thing for many people, and it can be like a drug. Best thing is to let her go and not try to be so desperate for contact with her. If she has chosen to ghost you, as horrible as that feels, and as cowardly as that is, leading 4000 messages won't make her come back.

Sorry to hear this. Is she on/off with a bf? It sounds like too much too soon, as if she was trying to prove to herself that she "moved on", but has been in touch with someone either new or from the past. She warned you 2 weeks ago with the "need space" thing. That usually means they are negotiating with someone else.

This isn't out of the blue. It never is. She broke up and is now going no contact. Were you exclusive? Was there a disagreement over something?

The relationship became intense very quickly, and she told me that she loved me and had not fallen for somebody as fast as she did for me.

Over the last couple of weeks she was distant with me and didn't want to see me as much as she usually did

she replied and said it was but maybe we should break up because she felt her being distant was unfair on me.

Her message to you is your "closure". Why meet with her just to listen to her tell you she doesn't love you anymore right to your face? That would be awful.

You didn't fully know her by this point, and even after she treated you like this, your infatuation is clouding the reality. She is a coward and did you dirty. After 6 months together, ending it by text is a rotten thing to do. She is showing you who she is, an insensitive person who doesn't have the spine or maturity to do the right thing by at least breaking the news in person. And I bet you'd consider taking her back if she told you she wanted you back.

Closure will eventually happen when you go no contact. She hasn't been truthful with you as per the real reason for the break, so meeting in person now, you would get more lies, and the truth would probably hurt you even more, anyway. It's a lose-lose scenario.

You will feel upset for a while, but keep it in your mind that fate has someone far better in store for you--someone who never says goodbye, even once.

I'd block her number now, because many exes return when they have a dry spell. You don't want to be her temporary plaything and be set back to square one if she tries to contact you again. Take care.

Having been through something similar recently, I can say that she did you a favor in a way. Ending things via text sucks, especially when it blindsides you this hard. But the fight to get closure isn't worth it. She's not someone who is worth more of your time, if she were she would have discussed things with you before just pulling the plug.

I think you are more in love with the idea of a relationship, rather than her. Do yourself a favor, cut her out of your social media and don't contact her further.

She met someone else. You did nothing wrong, there is nothing your could have done, and there is nothing you can do now. She's obviously not going to tell you what really happened......maybe if you check her social media in a few weeks you will have your answer.

It makes no difference if they break up in person, telegram, smoke signals, pony express, skywriting or text. The point is she told you she's not feeling it and when you asked she explained it's not working and it's over.

Wanting to meet in person is never about "closure" it's about begging to reconcile and expecting some sort of confrontation, court trail, whatever for "the truth" . Fact is, there is no 'truth', except she doesn't want to do this any longer.

I messaged her asking if everything was ok between us, she replied and said it was but maybe we should break up because she felt her being distant was unfair on me.

 

I said I wanted to meet up to talk about it, and didn't want it to end especially not by a message.

I am sorry, but you have already lost her. She found someone else.

What a coward. I think it is terrible the way she has ghosted you. You dodged a bullet.

I am curious how soon you both proclaimed your love for one another?

I'm sorry it's over. I understand you're struggling for closure. This is only a small piece of what types of people there are out there but it does not mean that everyone will be like this. Six months is significant enough (significant enough of a waste of time, depending how we want to look at it, or significant enough in terms of learning and gaining experience).

She may also be sensing that you do not know how to take no for an answer and doesn't feel meeting up will do any good or you are difficult to reason with because you will have questions and she will need to provide answers that she doesn't have. Not everyone is prepared for that or strong enough to do that and it comes with time and experience also.

Being firm and diplomatic during a break up is a skill. She may also feel intimidated by you for any number of reasons. I think it's helpful to see it from both sides and not read her out to be a malicious person.

Move forward in your healing and keep learning, meeting new people, and don't internalize this.

There's someone else in her life and she has moved on from you. You give yourself closure by learning to let go and taking time to get over her and finding someone new. Dont contact her anymore.

I am sorry this happened, OP. She chose the coward's way out.

However, in her mind, the relationship is already over and there's really nothing more to discuss. The break-up has already happened. I understand that you want some answers, of course. You're human and when we feel blindsided, it's normal to wonder what the heck is going on. I wouldn't count on that talk happening any time soon, though.

You would be best to unfollow/block her on social media for a long while. Seeing updates about her and her life is only going to sting, and confuse you even more.

she said was she was feeling low and needed some space. ... she replied and said it was but maybe we should break up because she felt her being distant was unfair on me. I said I wanted to meet up to talk about it,

The way to respond to someone who wants space is NOT to ask to meet up to talk about it. That's the opposite of giving the space requested.

Read my sig.

Something similar happened to me with an ex boyfriend. It ruined me

I'm sorry you're going through this. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It is absolutely devastating when someone hits you with indifference. You spend time wondering what went wrong and when.

I don't think theres any advice that someone can give you that will instantly make you feel better.

That was a CRUEL act that NO ONE should do to another human being. She did something cowardly and cruel to you and you have every right to feel hurt.

I just want to say: don't let this situation make you cold towards love. This was cruel and majority of mankind wont screw someone over like that

 

The relationship became intense very quickly, and she told me that she loved me and had not fallen for somebody as fast as she did for me.

Relationships that start fast and furious often end the same way.

People don't really know each other early on and project their fantasy ideal person onto someone new and have intense feelings related to that.

Unfortunately that wears off and then you get to really know someone and it rarely lives up to your fantasy.

In the future be wary of fast tracked relationships.

OP sorry to hear this. She's gone and you need to block and cut her out of your life.

As others have said she did you wrong. Chose the cowards way out. My guess is that when she went distant she met somebody else. Then ghosted you for a few weeks to try things with this other guy and decided to pursue that path. Don't give yourself a hard time. There are much better women out there for you.

I know this cowardly behaviour sucks as it leaves you scratching your head as to what you did wrong etc but it wasn't you. It was ALL her. My ex gf dumped me after 5 years together via a facebook message, didn't meet me to exchange things etc, lowest of the low.

It sucks now but in a few months you will look back on this as the lucky escape it is. She showed you her true colours before you got too deep thankfully.

Upwards and onwards OP!

I was seeing my girlfriend for six months, and at the weekend she disappeared suddenly with no contact or reason given. I've been trying to get in touch with her but she is ignoring my messages and not answering my calls.

 

The relationship became intense very quickly, and she told me that she loved me and had not fallen for somebody as fast as she did for me. I felt the same. Over the last couple of weeks she was distant with me and didn't want to see me as much as she usually did. I asked what was going on and all she said was she was feeling low and needed some space. On Friday I messaged her asking if everything was ok between us, she replied and said it was but maybe we should break up because she felt her being distant was unfair on me. I said I wanted to meet up to talk about it, and didn't want it to end especially not by a message. She agreed and said we would meet but that was the last I've heard from her. She's active online and is posting on social media so I know she is ok, and she is purposefully ignoring me.

 

I love her and don't want to lose her, but I would at least accept it's over if we had a chance to talk and to say goodbye. It's killing me that I might not get closure or a goodbye or know what is going on with her and I can't concentrate on anything else. Any advice on how to get through this would be appreciated. Thanks.

Was she just out of a relationship when you met her?

Also, how old are you both?

Thank you so much for the responses and advice. I have not contacted her for two days now and of course have not heard from her. I'm struggling with what to do with her things, she hasn't replied to me regarding getting them back but I can't bring myself to throw them out

Was she just out of a relationship when you met her?

Also, how old are you both?

I'm 25, she's 34. Yeah she had come out of a relationship a couple of months before we met, and thinking back to what she told me it sounds like that ended very similarly. He was constantly trying to contact her and meet her to give her things back and she was ignoring him. She told me he was violent and that's why she didn't want to talk to him. But she's doing the same to me and I'm not a violent person, and we only argued once the time we were together.

As long as you notified her in writing to get her stuff, you're ok. She's certainly old and experienced enough to know where and how to get her stuff if she wants it. She's a mess, stay away from her. Date women without this much baggage.

I'm 25, she's 34. Yeah she had come out of a relationship a couple of months before we met, and thinking back to what she told me it sounds like that ended very similarly. He was constantly trying to contact her and meet her to give her things back and she was ignoring him.

Yes give her notification that she has a month to collect her things and make sure it's kept on record. Then when a month has gone if she hasn't collected then bin them. You are not her keeper or her storage space.

Thank you so much for the responses and advice. I have not contacted her for two days now and of course have not heard from her. I'm struggling with what to do with her things, she hasn't replied to me regarding getting them back but I can't bring myself to throw them out

 

 

 

I'm 25, she's 34. Yeah she had come out of a relationship a couple of months before we met, and thinking back to what she told me it sounds like that ended very similarly. He was constantly trying to contact her and meet her to give her things back and she was ignoring him. She told me he was violent and that's why she didn't want to talk to him. But she's doing the same to me and I'm not a violent person, and we only argued once the time we were together.

Alright man, tough situation. I'm sorry.

The ball is in her court now. Wait, don't do anything. You pursue her now and she'll leave forever. Don't contact her for ANYTHING (not even her things). Just place them somewhere where you can't see them. She'll contact you in a little while to either talk stuff out or get her things. Just know that you can't do anything except be the strong man you actually are. She lost you, you didn't lose her, my friend. And if she wants to talk things out, be sure you're not just in love with the idea or potential of her.

Thank you so much for the responses and advice. I have not contacted her for two days now and of course have not heard from her. I'm struggling with what to do with her things, she hasn't replied to me regarding getting them back but I can't bring myself to throw them out

 

 

 

I'm 25, she's 34. Yeah she had come out of a relationship a couple of months before we met, and thinking back to what she told me it sounds like that ended very similarly. He was constantly trying to contact her and meet her to give her things back and she was ignoring him. She told me he was violent and that's why she didn't want to talk to him. But she's doing the same to me and I'm not a violent person, and we only argued once the time we were together.

Past one week without a response from her, I would Fedex or UPS the items to her if the cost isn't an issue for you. You can also set it up so that she receives an email notification that her package is on the way. I would not keep her items indefinitely or past one week. Leaving items behind or not speaking to you is inconsiderate to you and a form of controlling you and keeping you on the hook. You are not her storage facility.

Past one week without a response from her, I would Fedex or UPS the items to her if the cost isn't an issue for you. You can also set it up so that she receives an email notification that her package is on the way. I would not keep her items indefinitely or past one week. Leaving items behind or not speaking to you is inconsiderate to you and a form of controlling you and keeping you on the hook. You are not her storage facility.

I'd send the things, too, but NOT with a letter.