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Thread: Some advice please - out of blue

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Lady Blonde
    Thank you all for such good opinions and advices.

    My problem is that I always look beneath the surface and tried to explain someone behaviour (because of my problems and how I treated others in that period). But this will hurt now, I know it is not up to me to work on this relationship, but to be honest it is quite "slao to selfesteem" that someone can "force himself to be with you for 8 months without any feeling" even though I really doubt it. But it has nothing to do with me.

    Thank you all, you made my day
    You will be ok.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Lady Blonde
    Thank you all for such good opinions and advices.

    My problem is that I always look beneath the surface and tried to explain someone behaviour (because of my problems and how I treated others in that period). But this will hurt now, I know it is not up to me to work on this relationship, but to be honest it is quite "slao to selfesteem" that someone can "force himself to be with you for 8 months without any feeling" even though I really doubt it. But it has nothing to do with me.

    Thank you all, you made my day
    When people show you who they are believe them. When you insist on looking beneath the surface you are really either spackling on an alternative reality or simply projecting onto them who you want them to be. Either way, it's not healthy for you. Deal with what is not what you want it to be.

    As for feelings and emotions - those things are unreliable, fleeting, and constantly changing. One day you feel happy, another you feel down and you don't even know why. Commitment, loyalty, stability are choices and speak to the core character of the person. He has shown you that he will just run when his emotions change. That character aspect isn't going to change and you'll never have a partner in him that you can trust and count on. Is that good enough for you? Probably not.

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