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Thread: Some advice please - out of blue

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by smackie9
    This guy is a mess. He can't keep his head or his finances straight, and he kept flip floppin on ya. His answer to his troubles is to dump you because he just can't handle life. I would tell him to have at it, bubb-bye.
    Thank you!

  2. #12
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    Stop making excuses for this guy and listen to what he is saying. It will save you extra misery.

    Get away from him, he is selfish and unstable. He runs every time a problem occurs. He is not relationship material.

    What do you mean he just got a job? How long was he out of work? Did you give him money and pay for most things?
    Last edited by Hollyj; 08-29-2019 at 11:21 AM.

  3. #13
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    "I always try to see the good parts in the person and I don't usually get into a realtionship ( three serious relationships by 33 )"

    It is nice to see the good, but better to see the reality and not excuse and hang on. This is in YOUR best interest!

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    He's under some duress and strain. It's not a good idea to date under these circumstances. If he can't see through it, you should. Let him go and learn to be a bit more aware when others are going through difficulties. It's not fair on either of you to engage in a full blown relationship.

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  6. #15
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    Trying to see the good in people doesn't mean you ignore the bad or pretend it doesn't exist.

    You are better off without him. You'll see it soon enough.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    There is a difference between a flaw and a flaw that causes hardship. Sure my husband throws his dirty clothes in a pile on the floor, but that doesn't make us broke, scraping for money. He gets a pass because he works hard at work and at home on the house....he's reliable/loyal.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Dating is not social work. If he's broke misunderstood artist, that's his choice. You can't make parasites love you by being a doormat.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    This isn't out of the blue: it's his second breakup. With the first one he demo'd that he responds to stress by dropping out. That was your heads' up. It was your big red flag that he's not a reliable partner and is likely to do it again next time he feels heat.

    Whenever someone breaks up with you as a coping behavior, you're better off without him. The lesson to learn is to learn that lesson!

  10. #19
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    He had a job when we started dating, he lost it but he had some free lance Jobs but with kaze payments. He was without a proper job for 4 months. He just got a new job not reated to his field, but works also on weekends freelance.

    I did borrowed him small amount of money but he gave it most back.

  11. #20
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    Thank you all for such good opinions and advices.

    My problem is that I always look beneath the surface and tried to explain someone behaviour (because of my problems and how I treated others in that period). But this will hurt now, I know it is not up to me to work on this relationship, but to be honest it is quite "slao to selfesteem" that someone can "force himself to be with you for 8 months without any feeling" even though I really doubt it. But it has nothing to do with me.

    Thank you all, you made my day

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