Storytime: A new outlook on life and a fun date (+ forgetting the kiss and hug!)

After a few tough months post breakup I feel like I've totally accepted it and have finally moved on in a healthy way. The time trying to find myself again was needed and I'm happy I never got into a rebound. It's been 6 months PBU in total and I only recently found out that my ex now has an unfulfilling relationship with the guy she was emotionally cheating on me with. She told me she doesn't love him and that our love was something special. She told me she has no idea what she's doing with her life. The strange thing is I actually pitied her a little bit. I hope she solves her issues with loyalty and her need for variety. I still love her and she'll always hold a very dear place in my heart, but we'll never be in another romantic relationship again. And that's my own choice now. I am actually walking away and have stopped chasing nostalgia from times past.

After realizing I was chasing phantoms I felt I could become the positive, lighthearted, charming guy (etc. etc. etc.) that I actually am on the inside As a result I'm out talking to strangers I meet in real life, both males and females (in shops, on the street etc.). Life's so much easier when you're just focusing on the now and the potential of tomorrow, being able to do it consistently is the hard part. By trying to experience life this way I started talking to a girl I've found interesting and attractive for a quite a while. We've talked on occasion but never hung out one-on-one, so I just told her I'd really like to have a coffee with her. We set a definite date and that's where we are now. Also, as you've read the title you already know something didn't go according to the conventional dating script. No parting kiss or even a hug! Damn... And strangely enough I didn't even realize this until hours later. Just... what the hell?

So allow me to first explain how I experienced the date and my perceivement of her interest levels.

To start off with the negative (yes, something else). There was a lack of crossing of physical boundaries. I was so engrossed by her energy and positivity that I completely forgot to break the touch barrier after meeting her. We only touched each other two times as far as I know. The first time was the welcome hug initiated by me and the second time was when she slapped and hold my upper arm for a second. Pretty much everything else went great though. We had great conversation, some personal topics she shared with me and lots of laughing. She knocked over her drink once while laughing (and being instantly nervous, while I teased her and helped clean up the mess) and almost knocked over another glass at another place we went to (which she got teased for again of course). She did about 75% of the talking but was constantly asking me questions as well, while also remembering things I told her months ago. Topics spanned philosophy, religion, family, things we both liked, where we grew up etc. It never felt awkward, not even the few silences.

We had lots of eye contact, no external distractions (for example the phone), very open body language, caressing her arm/hair etc. (yep, pretty clear invitation), and her listening intently to me and asking followup questions. We also went to two places, one which she herself suggested after the first place closed. Regarding myself I was smiling, talkative, humorous had open body language, interested and initiated and kept 'longer than comfortable with friends' eye contact (one time she laughed and looked down after a second of 2-3 of silence while holding eye contact).

As we were leaving the second place, I felt like we were in a bit of a hurry as she was supposed to meet a friend while she was already running 15 minutes late (the pessimist might consider this an excuse, but my gut tells me it's true. And my mind agrees as we only initially went out for a coffee but we switched venues and talked for 2.5 hours). As we said our goodbyes I told her I had a good time. She answered she had as well and that we'll see each other soon. Then I just walked away. Does she think I'm a mysterious guy, or perhaps just disinterested, or actually an extremely insecure guy? No one but her knows if she's wanting more, or wanting less.

Writing all this is actually making me see the humour in the situation. I might have messed it all up or maybe I'm even reading the whole situation incorrectly; that in reality there is no attraction from her side. I don't know but I do know it's not a constructive thinking pattern. Therefore I'll just continue having fun with the whole experience. Both with the mishaps and the successes. Any way, I plan on contacting her in a day or two (by calling, not texting) to set a second date. I'll tell her the activity is a surprise and we'll see how she reacts.

If it somehow turns out she didn't feel "it" then that's fine too, no hard feelings. I'm just enjoying the ride of connecting with people, setting up dates and trying to read people's interest levels. No expectations.

-I don't need any reassurance that all will be well, you beautiful strangers. All I wanted to do is share my personal story. A short glance under the curtain of a dumpee breaking out of the concept that became a prison for him. Things get better once you really let yourself be dumped, sit tight while searching your best self, and finally walking away into the shining light of your own potential.

I like your approach. She sounds like a very nice gal. Kisses and hugs are not mandatory on first dates. I wouldn't worry so much about that. Everyone's different. Just ask her out a second time like you planned as long as you know she's ok with surprises. Not everyone is.