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Thread: Advice please

  1. #31
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    Me and my boyfriend are committed to each other so I donít believe that that is painful irony, but yes the majority of the people that are going will know about it, so yes I do feel embarrassed but more so Iím worried about whether I will be comfortable in that situation or not. I feel I donít go I will be pushed out of a friend group I was never really in, if that makes sense. I do feel like all of his friends and obviously people on here judge why I am still with him, but honestly I love him and he loves me and he has admitted to a mistake, a big mistake. He feels massively guilty about the way I am feeling about not going on the hen do, but it is in the past now and none of us can do anything to change it.
    I think deep down I have made my mind up, which is not to go, as I have to think of myself instead of others (Iím bad at doing this), itís not a situation I ever thought Iíd be in but I am.
    Really I just wanted peoples thoughts on what they would do in the situation, so I look bad for not going? Do I look bad for going? Itís a really difficult decision and Iím finding it really hard

  2. #32
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Your heart and soul are not in this so just send best wishes and tell them you can't make it.

  3. #33
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sophielsx
    I feel I donít go I will be pushed out of a friend group I was never really in, if that makes sense.
    So then why bother? These people are not close to you, and they make you feel uncomfortable. So why would you want to put yourself through an hour of that, much less 3 days?

    Don't torture yourself about it. These people are not your friends, so what's in it for you? Move your focus onto exploring new interests, and you'll make friends over time who you can feel happy with--not judged by.

    Head high.

  4. #34
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    It doesn't sound as though you are all that close to the bride, and there's obviously some residual tension. For that reason, I personally wouldn't go. There's not much point.

    And I wouldn't give a crap about anyone else's opinion of that.

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  6. #35
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sophielsx
    I feel I donít go I will be pushed out of a friend group I was never really in, if that makes sense.
    It sounds like a feeling of acceptance overall that you're worried about (feeling afraid that by not going you'll fall further outside their approval).

    There's nothing you can do to earn the trust of others or the approval of others except be you and be true to yourself. It's more or less pervasive in your behaviours or actions and the way you live your life. Being accepted shouldn't require you to do anything you prefer not to do. Don't worry so much about what they think. If you've made up your mind deep down not to go, don't worry. It's not the end of the world. There are plenty of other get togethers. The important part is that your boyfriend should respect you for your decisions.

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