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Thread: What are some next steps after our meeting?

  1. #11
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    Soo from what I gather its about looking for a Chinese womb to have his kids? Heaven forbid if is was about love or being happy. Just about finding a human to have his children.

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by No1
    Soo from what I gather its about looking for a Chinese womb to have his kids? Heaven forbid if is was about love or being happy. Just about finding a human to have his children.
    I totally get how when someone is an immigrant or is first generation but is strongly connected to their culture might want to meet someone similar to them and may consider women who are back in their home country. it was VERY common in decades past and it wasn't about a green card as much as finding shared culture. My dad's friend went back to Greece to find a bride (but it was someone that was already in his orbit. Their grandmothers were best friends and he had met her on trips growing up), but nowadays with the internet, it is MUCH easier to meet someone - even someone who is in the next town over that has a similar background to you and is in the same boat - speaks the language of origin, etc., and culturally relates to you and grew up around similar families that is not overseas.

    I really though get the impression that its also about competition - he wants to meet a woman without having all the competition of other men - to be the one American guy and they meet, either go for eachother or not, versus a woman here who meets American citizens and residents on a daily basis.

    Its actually not hard to meet a woman in the United States in her 30s who wants to find her future husband and have kids. There are tons of women who want that. There are a lot of cities also with large Chinese-American immigrant, 1st through 3rd generaton populations - Los Angeles, Boston, and more.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    What are some next steps after our meeting?

    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    I totally get how when someone is an immigrant or is first generation but is strongly connected to their culture might want to meet someone similar to them and may consider women who are back in their home country. it was VERY common in decades past and it wasn't about a green card as much as finding shared culture. My dad's friend went back to Greece to find a bride (but it was someone that was already in his orbit. Their grandmothers were best friends and he had met her on trips growing up), but nowadays with the internet, it is MUCH easier to meet someone - even someone who is in the next town over that has a similar background to you and is in the same boat - speaks the language of origin, etc., and culturally relates to you and grew up around similar families that is not overseas.

    I really though get the impression that its also about competition - he wants to meet a woman without having all the competition of other men - to be the one American guy and they meet, either go for eachother or not, versus a woman here who meets American citizens and residents on a daily basis.

    Its actually not hard to meet a woman in the United States in her 30s who wants to find her future husband and have kids. There are tons of women who want that. There are a lot of cities also with large Chinese-American immigrant, 1st through 3rd generaton populations - Los Angeles, Boston, and more.
    Also San Francisco, Seattle, Vancouver... all have a booming immigrant Chinese population, so it canít be about the nationality as much as it is about perhaps having views or values that donít align well with American or Canadian women.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    It's socioeconomic status, age and ethnicity combined. The OP expresses finding a partner in the US is more ideal but is having difficulties.

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by melancholy123
    Find someone who lives near you.
    i am sorry i cant find anyone nearby. I tried but nothing really matches. Many matches say i am too old. So age is a conversation non-starter (38). Anyone <33 i am looking for say too old so options are limited. And i never said having baby or have a womb is only requirement. Dating is a bunch of requirements - job, money, family, hobbies etc. I dont feel like listing every single thing here.

    Like i mentioned age is a non-starter for some, religion is another, politics too.

    So i should only seek someone nearby and never get married if i dont find someone here?

  7. #16
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Why not find someone your own age, if any woman from China agrees to marry you, she's only doing it for the green card.

    Plus as I mentioned, getting her into the country is going to be close to impossible.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    I totally get how when someone is an immigrant or is first generation but is strongly connected to their culture might want to meet someone similar to them and may consider women who are back in their home country. it was VERY common in decades past and it wasn't about a green card as much as finding shared culture. My dad's friend went back to Greece to find a bride (but it was someone that was already in his orbit. Their grandmothers were best friends and he had met her on trips growing up), but nowadays with the internet, it is MUCH easier to meet someone - even someone who is in the next town over that has a similar background to you and is in the same boat - speaks the language of origin, etc., and culturally relates to you and grew up around similar families that is not overseas.

    I really though get the impression that its also about competition - he wants to meet a woman without having all the competition of other men - to be the one American guy and they meet, either go for eachother or not, versus a woman here who meets American citizens and residents on a daily basis.

    Its actually not hard to meet a woman in the United States in her 30s who wants to find her future husband and have kids. There are tons of women who want that. There are a lot of cities also with large Chinese-American immigrant, 1st through 3rd generaton populations - Los Angeles, Boston, and more.
    yes and no. Women at least i get introduced always look for someone better. So we run into situation where a lot of chinese women too old. Like there's an 82 yale phd and she looks for only phd and makes 150k+. Or some that are compatible with me but 35 already which is too old to have children in terms of risks etc. so a lot of things are being considered. I even had a woman going back to communicate with me 2 years later but shes too old. its really down to prioritizing things. Asian women values education, money, stability a lot more. Of course some ABCs are more influenced by american culture.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Does she have to be Chinese?
    Last edited by Rose Mosse; 08-29-2019 at 05:35 PM.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    You could move to Asia, I suppose, if you are so set on these parameters.
    I currently have 3 cousins who left Canada and are living their lives in Asia and made a home there.

  11. #20
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    I haven't read your other thread but it seems to me that you are focused more on marrying and having kids as opposed to the actual person and relationship. If you don't "want to keep waiting" then I don't think communicating with someone by phone, video or text in China for a year and half before finally meeting is the way to go about it, especially when it doesn't seem as though your meet up has escalated anything. I think you are living in a dream. You are even trying to work out what job she can do when she goes back to work after having your children. I feel you are running away with this when you have no idea what she wants at all.
    Does she want to work in the US? Does she want children? She doesn't sound too keen. To be honest, you don't seem to be on the same page at all.

    If I were you, I would concentrate on meeting people locally.

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