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Thread: Seinfeld-esque Dating Stories

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I made the mistake of going over to someone's place for a movie after dinner. I was fresh out of a relationship and things got... well, fresh. I froze, stood up abruptly and blurted out, "I'm very sorry but I've got to do some laundry." (In someone else's house! I had nothing else to say.) He was so shocked he stood up also and didn't say a word. I thanked him for the time, apologized and drove away feeling terrible about the misunderstanding but also very disoriented. Anyway I'm glad I left. I didn't feel comfortable at all and I know I shouldn't have agreed to the movie. I wasn't even aware I was putting out any sexual vibes. I was in a completely different head space and it was such a wake up call.

  2. #12
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    I went out with a girl from online dating who I didn't quite click with. The thing that stood out to me the most about her was how much she loved the character Sonic the Hedgehog. In fact, the way I was supposed to identify her when we met up, was to look for the girl with the sonic t-shirt. Afterwards, I sent her the let down message. It was one of the first I had done at that time since online dating. I felt really bad about it. (I've gotten used to letting people down since then haha).

    Two years later, I'm out with another girl from online dating. We get to talking about video games... I love them so it usually comes up. She says that she doesn't play them much, but her sister really likes sonic. Had like, sonic bedsheets and posters and stuff.

    It doesn't connect for me. I barrel forward.

    "Oh yeah, that's funny. I find not that many people are into Sonic. I went out with someone who liked sonic a couple years ago. It was too bad we didn't work out. I just didn't find her that attractive."

  3. #13
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    I was fundamentally forced to go out on a blind date because my parents were worried I was dating (apparently, I was supposed to be spending time going out with people I had no interest in because I might suddenly find myself attracted to them). One fella kept excusing himself and calling his roommate for encouragement, and then during dinner he explained that he couldn't talk to me while we ate because he was "protective of his food." -- his siblings would sometimes steal a piece of his food here or there, and he just couldn't get over it. Did I mention that his whole body hung from his cheeks? No neck.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by Camber 2019
    OK, someone suggested this on another Thread!

    Anyone ever have a date that went like something off of a Seinfeld episode? Stories like "Man Hands", "Low Talkers", "Poppy Gettin' Sloppy"!!!
    Camber, you have no idea how happy I am that you made this thread! This is fantastic. Seriously, you made my day. Lol. Thank you! 🙏

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    Once upon a time I went out with this cute guy who I actually really enjoyed being with. There is nothing bad I can say about him, but I just couldn't get past his smell. He wasn't stinky in the least, and he had good hygiene. But he had what I perceived as this super strong family smell that was not attractive to me at all. Almost too familiar?!

  7. #16
    Gold Member Coily's Avatar
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    A librarian (it's important) I met at a wedding and I seemed to click over the phone and other conversations; things on paper seemed really promising. Same humor, complimentary interests, and she was quite a looker too. We settled on a proper first date; and things went amazingly well. We decided to go for a walk after dinner, there was a slight drizzle so I donned my cap and did all the gentlemanly things to keep her dry. We duck into a book store, me thinking my hair is a sopping mess now leaves the cap on. Things are still going well, but she decides to call it a night soon after. The next day I get a call from my friend, who set us up; told me this lady was upset I was disrespectful of books by not taking my hat off!

    Then the woman who, I thought was a little dull just due to nerves... Our second date a week after the first, she wore the same non-flattering clothes and told me the same stories verbatim, and in the same order. I have never run for my car in the middle of a date, but this time I did!

    Maybe one of the oddest was the stunning model I went on a date with, both in our mid 20s at the time and I was willing to drive 4 hours for a date; we had met by chance at a museum. I show up at her place, turns out she's living with her parents; and suddenly I am reliving my 17 year old self meeting the dad stuff. It was semi comical and yet kind of off putting. Dinner went well, then off to bowling which was a lot of fun and I was thinking; wow I really am a lucky guy this is a great date, chemistry is off the charts. I take her home, and the wheels fall off; the ankle biter showed up and her attentiveness and affection goes out the window. Not even a hug goodbye as she shoves that weird little dog in my face. We talk a time or two more, I express that I am not as excited to see her and I go NC, two years later she calls me up and tells me she is getting married and that I should let her go.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    oh. . where do I start?!!

    OK. . .<insensitivity alert> Not proud of this and it will sound horrible in print, but years ago I used to joke about `never knowing who'd show up to an online meet 'n greet `my luck I'd meet some guy dragging his foot behind him' (terrible, I know)

    At some point I arranged to meet a man and he had a clubbed foot with an orthopedic shoe that added an additional 4 inches to one leg. We agreed to meet at the local beach peer and go for a walk. I felt kinda stunned, guilty and honestly couldn't form a sentence to speak . I think it had to be karma or something happening to teach me a lesson about sensitivity.

    I stopped joking about that

    (I have several stories, but I'll stop at 2)
    I had some guy reach out to me online, we chatted for a couple days and arranged to meet. The night before our meeting he asked me for a private email address because there was something important he wanted to share. From there he sent me a long detailed expectation of our meeting and how due to liberation and sexism and men demanding to no longer be taken advantage of, blah, blah, that he wouldn't be paying for our date and I need to be prepared to pay for my own.

    I had several issues with this email First off, I typically show up early and buy my coffee/drink, so that's a non issue. His letter was condescending misogynistic and preachy. I text him back after having read the letter and assured him I would have paid for my own drink anyhow, but seeing that he found it important to presumptuously lecture me about forehand, I was going have to decline the date after rall. I didn't think we'd be a good match. He flipped out on me and blew up my phone. I had to block him. Sheees!

    The following day an acquaintance friend of mine posted an obnoxious email she received from a potential match on FB. It was the exact same guy and the identical letter. She went one massive step further and not only cancelled on him but flamed him social media. I can't believe he thought this was a good idea and wonder how many other times he did this.

    Ok - last one. I am 5'8" You tell me your 5'10, I am wearing 2 inch heels on our date. I show up, you turn around and are now nervously staring at my collar bone and have to scan up from there to meet my eyes. Why put us through this unnecessarily awkward moment you can not possibly recover from? Especially when I don't have a strict height requirement to begin with. I don't get it. It's happened more times than I can count.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    From OLD website, I agree to meet someone at a restaurant bar. I walk in, it's crowded and there's my date saving the last bar stool for me. I walk up, he gestures for me to sit. We chat for a couple minutes, I order a drink and with that he asks for my hand. I put my hand out, palm up and he places a house key in it and tells me to hold onto it and he'll be right back. He leaves the restaurant.

    I sit there by myself staring at this key in my palm and as I am unwinding this riddle, it comes to me what's going on and then he no sooner returns with a big smile on his face. He proudly tells me that he left his wallet in his car and had I not been up to his standards he wouldn't have given me the key as a guarantee of his return. (he would have just left)

    `Hmmm, lucky me' I say, staring at the key. I handed him back his key, jumped off the bar stool left the restaurant. This was his well executed drill he used on women. I wasn't flattered at all.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Hilarious reinvent.

    Another from me: Third date with someone who seems promising. First date was an afternoon spritz, second a glass of wine. Nice chats, and a nice kiss, have taken place. Very PG.

    We meet for a walk, in a local neighborhood known to be lovely: narrow streets, pretty homes, canals. We meet on a corner, but she says she forgot something at home, wouldn't mind changing. She lives half a block away. No sweat. It's one in the afternoon, many hours from the hours when things can get weird. Or so I think.

    I sit in a kind of enclosed courtyard while she goes inside. A few minutes later she emerges wearing a new top, a simple button-down. When I make eye contact she starts pulling at the collar area, as if she is very hot, though the weather outside is perfectly tepid. "Look," she says, in a kind of breathless voiceover voice. Then, in the same second: "Don't look!" This routine continues, a bit, until her breast is out, but covered in her hand. "Look—don't look."

    I just kind of sit there, frozen. It really doesn't feel like a come on but like...well, something I don't understand or want to be part of. She vanishes back into the house, comes down in a dress. Does the same routine, is met with my same frozen stare. I'm truly bewildered. No sign of this on the first dates, where we talked opera, nomadic lifestyles, laughed.

    Ended up going for the walk. Normal enough—except did that really happen? Back home, I sent her the classic "don't think this is going to work" text. She was mature about that, but two days later sent me an elliptical text. It read, "Children can become mute."

    Which has become shorthand among my friends for: dating—it's weird. "Children can become mute," we say, clinking glasses at the bizarro thing that is life and trying to connect.

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    Which has become shorthand among my friends for: dating—it's weird. "Children can become mute," we say, clinking glasses at the bizarro thing that is life and trying to connect.
    Goodness. I would be very confused about what went on as well. Was that supposed to performance art? a test?

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