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Thread: Should I give him a second chance or am I being a mug?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MollyHendo91
    Thanks for your messages. He is literally begging me to get back with him and make things work. He tells me he only got a tinder account and started dating other woman was because he was technically single and didn’t know were he stood with me after ‘cooling things off’ until his relationship was completely finished (i.e all financial ties cut). Surely if I was the one he would have waited and not messed things up? Do people agree?
    I didn’t get with him while he was with his ex. He wanted to meet up but I refused and said I would only chat when he was single. I wouldn’t swoop as low.
    I think you're missing the forest for the trees.

    The Tinder stuff? Those are the smallest of potatoes in this sack of rotten potatoes. Think about it logically for a moment. Do you even want to be someone trying to gauge whether you're "the one" based on someone's Tinder usage? Do you want to be someone who can feel like "the one" because of what half a dozen internet strangers say about this?

    If you were the one—and if he was the one for you—this would all simply feel different, be different. Where you feel anxious right now you would feel calm. Where you feel like a mug you would feel cherished. And so on.

    You know this, of course. You ended things with him once upon a time for a reason, and kept that door shut tightly for a reason. What were those reasons? Is anything you're experiencing right now—from the way you feel to the way he's treating you—familiar?

  2. #12
    Platinum Member shellyf62's Avatar
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    Omg, he wouldnt be able to lie straight in bed. What an absolute scum bag. Why are you even wasting your time & effort on this jerk?

    Block & delete his number now. He is only going to cause you heartache & misery!

  3. #13
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    You're not the "one"...you are being lied to and he can replace you in two seconds with someone else.

    He's a fast talked but it all amounts to nothing. It's lies to manipulate and he really is the lowest of the low.

    He made a Tinder account...what more do you need to know??!!?? Someone who really feels they found the "one" does not go running to other girls, he would be doing the opposite. Trying to convince you that it's over with the ex, trying to get things sorted as quickly as possible, telling you how much he loved you and to please wait...all while he stayed loyal and a decent man.

    He isn't a decent guy, he is a lying piece of crude who is willing to bed hop and justify it.

    This is obvious to anyone.

    Stop speaking to him, he is not worth it. You need to raise your standards.

  4. #14
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    My ex lied, cheated and hid things from me, so I left him and started dating someone else.

    For FIVE YEARS he pursued me, telling me the same things this guy is telling you.

    Finally, I agreed to give him the second chance he'd been begging for (I was single again at the time).

    Guess what he did? Lied, cheated and hid things from me!

    He told me "Well, you already knew what I was like and you came back anyway. I figured you like being treated like that."

    Think about that.

    Oh, and it's about ego, not love.

  5.  

  6. #15
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Yep, when someone shows you who they are...believe it!

  7. #16
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    I read somewhere that if they like you, you will know it, if they don't like you, they will leave you confused. This guys game is super easy to figure out. He knows what you like, what you don't like, and is saying the things that you want to hear and I bet he has an excuse for everything.
    Question is... do you really want this much drama?

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by HeartGoesOn
    He sounds like someone who could talk a dog off a meat wagon. On the other hand this is another example of history repeating itself, as in he cheated with you, he's now cheating on you.

    It's time to take out the trash, and raise your standards.
    What an awesome expression. The rest of your advice is spot on as well.

    OP: I'd truly consider you masochistic, mentally ill or terribly optimistic if you give him a second chance. Your post is basically the script for a movie where your ex is the cheating and deceiving villain no one will ever be able to like. Except of course for the girls in the movie who will be used and hurt where we as viewers feel sorry for them and hope never to be in such a situation.

    Any affection or love you feel for him is for your own idealistic view of him, you don't like the real him one bit.

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by MollyHendo91
    Thanks for your messages. He is literally begging me to get back with him and make things work. He tells me he only got a tinder account and started dating other woman was because he was technically single and didn’t know were he stood with me after ‘cooling things off’ until his relationship was completely finished (i.e all financial ties cut). Surely if I was the one he would have waited and not messed things up? Do people agree?
    I didn’t get with him while he was with his ex. He wanted to meet up but I refused and said I would only chat when he was single. I wouldn’t swoop as low.
    I will ask again, why did you break up 7 years ago?

    You would be a fool to go back to this guy! This guy is a complete sleaze bag. You will only have yourself to blame if you go forward.

  10. #19
    We broke up because we were both young at the time and had no trust in each other. I was at university going on nights out and he was out with mates quite a bit. He moved on really quickly after we broke up but it took me a while to get over it.

  11. #20
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    Did he cheat on you?

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