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Thread: Am I being selfish or stupid?

  1. #31
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by msgirl
    Its true I'm sure a degree is not required for a bank teller job lol But I figured I would take advantage of my education benefits and get some sort of degree. I had told them the truth. That I can't physically do the jobs I had been in the automotive industry, I've been a mechanic and a parts associated. I had supplied my resume to my previous boss for the parts managers position at the dealership I was working at at the time, and was met with being fired... ty place lol So once I complete this degree I will try to apply for management positions in the automotive field since that is my passion.
    That's wonderful. I think it's a good idea to put it on a sticky note and paste it over the bed. When I was going back to school it took every ounce of willpower to get through it. Keep that passion alive. I admire that you're going back to school. When you're feeling down, look at the sticky note.

  2. #32
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    That's wonderful. I think it's a good idea to put it on a sticky note and paste it over the bed. When I was going back to school it took every ounce of willpower to get through it. Keep that passion alive. I admire that you're going back to school. When you're feeling down, look at the sticky note.
    Thats a really good idea and I think I will do that when I get moved into my friends place. I generally have a pretty good outlook on life and try to stay positive. But of course life tends to get the best of anybody. I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.. Once I work up to courage to tell my fiance the deal.

  3. #33
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    I had the best help from the unemployment office. They helped me with my resume, had an interviewing class, etc.

    Also, i would get yourself a little makeover if you want a business job through school. If you walk in looking business like - your hair cut is up to date, etc, and flattering. light makeup if you normally don't wear it, etc. and going in put together every time even if you are there doing your own banking, it goes a long way for people to think you are "business". Dress slacks, a top that fits you well, belt and some business like shoes, etc. I got a receptionist job once because i was a customer and people remembered me - they had a good impression of me because i was well spoken and was always put together - nothing expensive or flashy but i look like i belonged there. If i wore an outgrown ponytail with split ends, jeans that were too small or not for my shape and a worn out tshirt, they would not have looked twice.

    I am not saying your look isn't put together but i know my cousin who always worked industrial jobs and is ex military definitely didn't dress the part. she was ultra casual.

  4. #34
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    You never need to justify leaving a relationship. If it doesn't work for you, then it doesn't work for you. Nobody else is living your love life FOR you, so nobody else gets a vote.

    Head high.

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  6. #35
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by msgirl
    Thats a really good idea and I think I will do that when I get moved into my friends place. I generally have a pretty good outlook on life and try to stay positive. But of course life tends to get the best of anybody. I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.. Once I work up to courage to tell my fiance the deal.
    To be realistic it's not going to be news. I'd level with him and be honest without interjecting any he saids/she saids (the past). Don't negotiate, just stay firm and tactful. Keep your eye on the ball which is your schooling and financial/physical health.

  7. #36
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Once I work up to courage to tell my fiance the deal.
    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    To be realistic it's not going to be news.

    I agree. The guy is already checked out, so I wouldn't over-invest in trying to perfect a discussion. And I'd also quit referring to him as your fiancÚ. That puts too much weight on a relationship that has run it's course. I'd just handle whatever loose ends you can tie up on your own, then tell him you're done.

    Head high.

  8. #37
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    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    I agree. The guy is already checked out, so I wouldn't over-invest in trying to perfect a discussion. And I'd also quit referring to him as your fiancÚ. That puts too much weight on a relationship that has run it's course. I'd just handle whatever loose ends you can tie up on your own, then tell him you're done.

    Head high.
    Yup. It's getting closer for sure. I sent him the title to the little POS he's driving, because it's in my name, I signed it over. Emailed him a bill of sale, told him only because he's so far away and that way if he wanted to sell it he'd be able to. The next thing is going to politely ask him to send the phone he has back to me whenever he gets a prepaid phone.
    Our phones got shut off this morning but I had the money on stand-by to pay the bill but wanted to see what his reaction was going to be and give him one last ditch effort to help with the bill and nothing of course. So I paid the bill and left his line suspended. I'll just tell him essentially the truth. That I need that device back so I can try and recoupe some money toward that cellphone bill.
    Then after I get that phone back (if he doesn't sell it) and the signed bill of sale itll be all over.
    I've found a couple small annoying things to me that may or may not mean anything. But I noticed I can't see his friends list on facebook anymore and he removed my mom (who is the best and has never done wrong or talked bad toward him) from his friends list. So that threw up a couple red flags. But has made the decision that much easier to be honest.
    That and since i decided to look at his call log, as the phone bill/account is solely in my name, I noticed times where he'd be calling someone first thing in the morning, but I wouldn't hear anything from him for hours, and then right when he'd get off work, again never hearing anything for like 2 hours after work. So just seems fishy to me. We'll see if he seems upset or just nonchalant either way my decision has been made. And I'm starting to feel the weight coming off my shoulders already.

  9. #38
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Excellent. He's involved with someone locally. You're no longer in a relationship. Forget the phone and just move forward.
    Originally Posted by msgirl
    I paid the bill and left his line suspended.

  10. #39
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    It's usually a good idea to make a clean break. It's a blessing if he's removed your mother on social media. She has no bearing on his life and may find her presence a bit annoying and another window for you to spy on him. If either of you are on social media together, I'd discourage it. Work towards minimizing contact and any voyeurism into each others' lives. The same goes for the phone and seeing where he's calling. It's not any of your business anymore. The relationship is over. Time to let go. Flush out the old, usher in the new.

    Good for you in all your other progress. In order to bring new life in, we have to let go of the old nefarious or erroneous items and (occasionally) people as well. Enjoy the new changes and breathe all that new life in.

  11. #40
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    So I finally broke up with him today, after getting loose ends tied up. I know I made the right choice now, he didn't at all. He said "I kind of had a feeling it was coming..." He also removed all of our local friends from his Facebook page about a month ago. So that just tells me that he didn't plan on coming back... So I'm feeling relieved, and thankful that I have moved in with friends so that I'm not totally alone. Now it's time to start recovering from the financial situation and get my life back on track.
    Thank you everyone for your words and advice. It did make it easier.

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