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Thread: Am I being selfish or stupid?

  1. #21
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    Yea I'm not high maintenance at all. I'm ok with staying at home when he was home and just spending time. I've never expected him to buy me expensive things ect. My Bill's consist of a car payment, car insurance, electric internet, and of course the phone bill. I've never expected him to help me with my car expenses. but when he was here he did help with the electric bill and the phone bill.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    You are in dire straights, and he didn't sign up for that. He's thinking, "In the foreseeable future, I don't want to be stuck supporting her, nursing her because of her health issues, and the possibility of her not being able to take care of our children, working, etc...I'm tapping out." You having to claim bankruptcy was probably when he realized what the future may look like. Sadly it is what it is. Not everyone is up for that kind of challenge. He's being a tool, because he's not being honest with you. He's not in it, he's quitting it. He's too much of a coward and is waiting for you to end it. I think you should simply take the phone back because he can rack up some serious charges on it. You are right, you need a clean slate, and get your life back on track....he's just dead weight.

  3. #23
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    I'm part time and now they've cut hours so I don't even get what used to be the minimum of 25 hours a week. And I have considered getting another part time job, but on also trying to overextend myself and screw my shoulder recovery because I've also just started school.

    You have "considered" getting another job - it wasn't pressing. If you had, things may be different. There are tons of jobs that don't involve your shoulder - front desk at a hotel or gym, office work, etc., hostess at a restaurant. I would consider yourself on your own at the time being. It is sucky that he didn't just break up with you cleanly and did it in a cowardly way.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    It sounds like your car and insurance are coming up to the majority of the $900 figure. You work part time but have health issues. Do you need a car?

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    If you were living together, then he is fully responsible for half the bills. It's not any different than if he was renting an apartment and got sent away for work. He'd still be liable for the rent, utilities, etc. Him being out of town is not an excuse for not meeting his obligations.

    That said, it seems like he is doing a super slow fade out of this relationship. Moved out, not paying his share of the bills, etc, etc, etc. He is checked out and I dare say he is one of those extreme cowards who can't simply end a relationship like a decent human being. He'd rather make it so painful for you, that you finally do it for him. Go ahead and oblige him and spare yourself any more grief and frustration with this.

    At this point you are, for all means and purposes, single and living as such. You do not need to be paying for his phone on your plan. Cancel him out. If he wants to go get a prepaid phone, that's his problem. You need to take care of you and do whatever you need to do to pay your bills. Cut off the dead weight, aka fiance, and move on and do what you need to do to get back on your feet. Ultimately, it will be better and easier for you that way.

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    It sounds like your car and insurance are coming up to the majority of the $900 figure. You work part time but have health issues. Do you need a car?
    This is true. Yes unfortunately I do need a car, where I live there's not much of a public transportation system. Plus my surgeon is 2 hours away and my va medical center is 1.5 hours away. Yes I've got health issues, all physical from the Navy. Thankfully that's what I get disability for from the VA. And will be working on getting my percentage increased as soon as my surgery recovery pay claim is processed. It is a constant battle that us veterans have to battle all the time.

    Another unfortunate thing is when I've tried to jobs that could accommodate my injuries they all look at my resume and assume I'm not qualified for a damn desk job... I have basically all automotive background jobs and my military history. I even had a phone interview for a bank teller job and they asked about my change of career basically. Which why I am going to school for Business Management for hopefully improve my chances of getting a good job.

  8. #27
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    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    If you were living together, then he is fully responsible for half the bills. It's not any different than if he was renting an apartment and got sent away for work. He'd still be liable for the rent, utilities, etc. Him being out of town is not an excuse for not meeting his obligations.

    That said, it seems like he is doing a super slow fade out of this relationship. Moved out, not paying his share of the bills, etc, etc, etc. He is checked out and I dare say he is one of those extreme cowards who can't simply end a relationship like a decent human being. He'd rather make it so painful for you, that you finally do it for him. Go ahead and oblige him and spare yourself any more grief and frustration with this.

    At this point you are, for all means and purposes, single and living as such. You do not need to be paying for his phone on your plan. Cancel him out. If he wants to go get a prepaid phone, that's his problem. You need to take care of you and do whatever you need to do to pay your bills. Cut off the dead weight, aka fiance, and move on and do what you need to do to get back on your feet. Ultimately, it will be better and easier for you that way.
    This is what will happen pretty much. I'll have to eat the cost of whats left of his device payments just to be over with it all :-/ Breakups are of course always hard, and I never know how to do it. A friend of mine said to do it in person, which of course is the best way, but when neither one of us can afford to drive the 4.5 hours to see each other, that is not the option. So over the phone it'll be. Just never know the words to say.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You're on the right track even though it seems like tough times. You would do better getting rid of him.

  10. #29
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by msgirl
    This is true. Yes unfortunately I do need a car, where I live there's not much of a public transportation system. Plus my surgeon is 2 hours away and my va medical center is 1.5 hours away. Yes I've got health issues, all physical from the Navy. Thankfully that's what I get disability for from the VA. And will be working on getting my percentage increased as soon as my surgery recovery pay claim is processed. It is a constant battle that us veterans have to battle all the time.

    Another unfortunate thing is when I've tried to jobs that could accommodate my injuries they all look at my resume and assume I'm not qualified for a damn desk job... I have basically all automotive background jobs and my military history. I even had a phone interview for a bank teller job and they asked about my change of career basically. Which why I am going to school for Business Management for hopefully improve my chances of getting a good job.
    That seems like a good start - bank teller. What did you respond with when they asked about the change in career? I worked for a bank for a few years. It seems like a good option as long as you're good with people and sales (a lot of sales). I was under the impression that you don't need a degree to be a bank teller but maybe times have changed.

  11. #30
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    That seems like a good start - bank teller. What did you respond with when they asked about the change in career? I worked for a bank for a few years. It seems like a good option as long as you're good with people and sales (a lot of sales). I was under the impression that you don't need a degree to be a bank teller but maybe times have changed.
    Its true I'm sure a degree is not required for a bank teller job lol But I figured I would take advantage of my education benefits and get some sort of degree. I had told them the truth. That I can't physically do the jobs I had been in the automotive industry, I've been a mechanic and a parts associated. I had supplied my resume to my previous boss for the parts managers position at the dealership I was working at at the time, and was met with being fired... ty place lol So once I complete this degree I will try to apply for management positions in the automotive field since that is my passion.

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