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Thread: Am I being selfish or stupid?

  1. #11
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    Basically I've been doing everything you suggested. I almost packed up and moved back to my parents. But I just started school so I didn't want to mess up my education. as far as getting healthier to work, my injuries are wide spread from the military. and I have health coverage through the va. I've got a bad back, bad knees, screwed up ankle and messed up shoulder. So that prevents me from doing a lot of stuff anymore.
    I can't get food stamps. I make to much... I was getting food stamps before I got my job and that was only $80 a month with all the Bill's and the only income at the time was my disability. I don't do anything extracurricular... I stay home. I've reached the point that I know he's not going to help. And he's not obligated to help with my bills except it seems he should help with the phone bill... his phone is on my plan so that only makes sense. But its whatever. I've been so stressed out about everything that I don't get sleep. So I'm now getting unhealthy from it all.

  2. #12
    Silver Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    I'm sorry, this is your Fiance and you both agreed to live together. So he works out of town now and just feels that he can stick you with all the bills and responsibilities? That just doesn't cut it. I doubt very much if he would be any different if you were married!

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Simple. Delete him. Give him 30 days notice so he can switch plans/carriers.
    Originally Posted by msgirl
    he should help with the phone bill... his phone is on my plan so that only makes sense.

  4. #14
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    That's what I'm worried about to be honest. I can handle the fact that he is out of town. That's not an issue. Just concerned whether or not I can count on him when we get married if this is what's going on now. I'm making sacrifices for myself to make sure I don't lose everything I've worked for. Hell I even rehome my dogs before my surgery because I wouldn't be able to take them out. or be able to afford food and any vet expenses for them.
    Moving out of an apartment that I lived in for over 2 years. having to put everything I own in storage so I can occupy my friends spare bedroom. Quitting smoking because I can't afford cigarettes anymore. I'm reducing everything to nothing. When he's still doing extracurricular stuff. And I'm home alone with nothing to do and no money to do so.

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  6. #15
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    Trust me I want to. But we owe on his actually device so I can't just delete his line...

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It's over but he won't tell you. He's just showing you with actions. Take care of yourself. Forget about him.

  8. #17
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    That's what I've pretty much figured out. Judging from his responses to my stress and situation. so I do believe I'll be ending it very soon. I'm just thankful I've got good friends that are willing to help me out. Because then I would have to pack everything is a 24ft truck, get a car hauler and drive 8 hours back to my parents. and lose all of my good friends, my job with an awesome boss, and screw my education up.
    Everything happens for a reason and I guess god is opening another door for me and showing me the way.

  9. #18
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    Get a prepaid phone for yourself and take yourself off the cell plan or say "fine, could you get a prepaid phone and i'll take you off the plan to save money. Unless you were married with a mortgage, he should NOT have to pay you for living expenses while he works out of town. He has to pay his rent in that new town, etc. At the very least, if he is on the lease he *should* pay part of your rent but really, if there is no end date (its not like he's just on a 3 month contract and coming back) you should move somewhere you can afford. Can you work while you are on disability a little bit? With some disabilities, you can and it doesn't affect your disability payments (ie, you will lose your disability if you have an injury but can retrain for another field that doesn't require lifting, but you won't lose it if you are blind or paraplegic)

  10. #19
    Silver Member MirrorKnight's Avatar
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    Whilst I stand by what I said about your fiance's right to his own economic choices in the absence of any children... if you rented a house intended for the both of you and incurred costs on that basis, it is sucky of him to abandon his financial obligations the moment he moves out.

    I have a friend who had a pretty high maintenance girlfriend, she demanded regular overseas holidays, living in a nice house in a nice area, nice presents etc... the poor dude spent all he earned every month to keep her happy, stopped spending money on going out with the lads, didn't go on our lads holiday to Germany last year. Then she left him anyway, moved out of their rented house that cost over 1500 a month and left my friend with a contract that he could not get out of for 7 or 8 months, so he had to take out a loan to get by, incurring interest costs etc...

    If your fiance did anything like the above, then yeah... that's very irresponsible and amoral, and you would do well to get rid asap.

    btw... what do your $900 of bills include? that seems very high if excluding rent...

  11. #20
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    This guy is your fiance, IMO if it were me the fact that he has pretty much checked out of the relationship financially, physically and emotionally would be a huge concern for me and a sign of how he would support me when the chips were down in the future.

    This is about more than just finances, this is about the fact that he is living like a free bird in another city and not supporting you with what you are going through. Perhaps if he was emotionally available, and you guys were communicating and working together, you would be more easily able to adjust your life to accommodate the change in financial status.

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