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Thread: Girl (17) at work thinks I'm (18) creepy.

  1. #1

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    Girl (17) at work thinks I'm (18) creepy.

    This will probably be long, but I could really use some advice.

    Probably around 5 months ago, I started to talk and become close with a girl that I work with, we hit it off right away and we spoke quite often and I think we have fun together. She was (and still is) very flirty. So after a few months of getting to know each other, I'm told by a mutual friend that this girl actually thinks I'm "creepy" and that I might try and molest her. Molest her. So I'm absolutely dumbfounded as to how she could possibly think this, I didn't press my friend for more information because i was genuinely afraid I had done something inappropriate and that the people she told may be on her side so i quickly brushed it a side and acted like I didn't care.

    I started going through our last 3 months of interactions trying to figure where I went wrong. I thought we were getting a long really well, she seemed comfortable around me at all times, I thought maybe I said something weird while we were flirting some time, but I never ever said anything sexual or made any physical advances. I started thinking about why she would flirt or spend any amount of time with me if she was so afraid of me. Like we flirted so often that other co workers called us out for it and her response was "Oh sorry, we can't help it.". I also remembered one time where I was getting roses for a customer and I walked by her and jokingly said they were for her, and she acted all surprised and went along with it, and later she gave me a children's book "in return for the flowers."

    So even though I didn't know why she thought way, I decided it was probably best to cut ties with her completely, I didn't start conversation, didn't talk about her, didn't even look at her. But what made this difficult is that she was still wanting to talk to me. Every time we saw each other she would always start conversations, tell me about her life, talk about work. I would give very little in terms a response but she always wanted to talk. I was thinking, how could someone who would go as far to say I would "molest" her, be anywhere near me, let alone going out of her way to talk.

    Fast forward a month, I'm talking with a different mutual friend. He brings up the fact that she thinks I'm creepy again, but this guy tells me why, and the reasons she gave were this:
    1. We work at a grocery store, one night I helped bag her groceries while she rang in the items, and I stood to close to her.
    2. I needed to bring money I had just counted upstairs, it's policy I can't walk it up alone, so I asked her to "escort" me up to the office and it freaked her out that we'd be alone together for a couple minutes.

    So those were her reasons, the 2 guys she had told this to asked her if there was anything else, or something I did that makes her feel that way to begin with, but she couldn't come up with anything. He exclaimed that they were both pretty confused, especially after seeing how she acts around me, they didn't think it added up either. I think it's worth mentioning that I've bagged for her twice, and the second time I was asked by a different girl to bag for her, and then after hearing this, asked me to bag for her instead... so one of the reason she thinks I'm creepy, she asked me to do. She even commented on the fact that I've bagged for her before, and it reminded her of that time. Everyone who knows about this, doesn't understand how she could feel this way, based on how she acts. I was told one time she was talking with one of my friends and she had made up a nickname for me based on my middle name.

    So yeah, I'm really confused about the situation and don't really know how to proceed. Recently she's asked me to take someones shift so we could work together, and another time I told her I wouldn't be working for a while, she exclaimed how she was disappointed. I don't know what to do.

  2. #2
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    This is what I would do. Since this is a work situation that is the most important aspect of the situation. This is second hand information right? So what I would do is if she tries to interact with you other than in what is required professionally say to her simply and directly "it's probably better if we keep this to work only because from what I understand you feel uncomfortable if we interact other than in a work situation.". Do not ever ever be alone with her because then it's he said/she said. Also you know she talks behind your back so say nothing to her that you wouldn't want everyone to know/published in the newspaper. Do not speak of her ever again to anyone else except if it's important for work like "She is going to work the day shift on Saturday instead of me". And try to say those things in public in front of more than one person. Who knows what she said but I think she gossips, I think she might be trying to create drama at work and you don't need any of that.

  3. #3
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    I think she is a troubled girl. Stay away from her. And be mindful of not standing in someone's personal space, just to be on the safe side . Do not switch shifts to work with her. If she asks again, say "No, I need to work the schedule i am on, sorry".


    why she would flirt or spend any amount of time with me if she was so afraid of me.


    When some people are uncomfortable, they try to hard to make jokes or to win someone over.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Batya33 has good advise, please heed it.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    You should have a one on one with your manager and advise of the situation from your side. It's unlikely more than one person is making up (lying) about what she's saying about you. For any number of reasons, people do dumb things to one another (thoughtlessly or maliciously). I would decline any shifts together with her and make it known to management, the sup or manager who schedules shifts. I don't think it's a good idea to confront her as anything you say or do can be interpreted as however she sees fit. Don't give her any reason to misinterpret what you are saying and don't turn this into more of a circus than it already is.

    Also stop gossiping with your coworkers. When your cohorts see that you're serious and not into chatting with this no-gooder, they'll take the hint that there's nothing to look at or talk about.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Your buddies there are probably giving you a hard time because they know you like her. They are messin with your head with a bs story. They are being jerks.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    This woman spells trouble and there's no telling what she's capable of since she's already spreading false rumors about you. Your reputation and job are at stake here so beware and tread lightly for your own survival's sake.

    Watch your back and always make sure there are witnesses for your own protection.

    Continue distancing yourself. Remain polite yet professional. No more, no less. Keep a cool and frosty distance. You can still be polite while staying away from her.

    Decline taking someone's shift. Don't do her any favors. You need to steer clear.

    In the past, she thought you stood too close to her and perhaps she interpreted this as being in her physical space and too creepy.

    Perhaps she caught you leering or ogling her. Perhaps you shot her a furtive, surreptitious glance. Some women get creeped out by that type of unwelcomed attention. Always guard your eyes because you never know who is watching YOU while you look at others!

    Hang tough and be strong. Don't allow this woman to jeopardize your job. Be smart.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by smackie9
    Your buddies there are probably giving you a hard time because they know you like her. They are messin with your head with a bs story. They are being jerks.
    If that's the case... they're definitely jerks.
    Either way, someone's messing around with you. If you just want to go there and work, just focus on work.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Avoid her. It's that simple. Go to work, do your job, be polite and friendly but don't stare, get too close or be otherwise "creepy". She's still a kid. Leave her alone.


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