Guys seem to just care about one thing

First off, I always state I am just seeking friendship so there should be no confusion because I have yet to find a "make a friend" app lol.

That being said, everytime I dip my toe back into the dating pool, I find the same problem. After moments of conversing it always turns sexual. I get it, we are adults. You are attracted to me in a sexual way... but why does it happen so fast now a days??? It's like they are chomping at the bit and I feel like I have no value other than sexually. It doesn't matter that I'm an amazing partner that would do anything to make him happy, it's more like... do you wanna be fwb and see where it goes? Yuck, no thank you🤮 🤣. OR they are super needy and message like non stop.

I honestly just want to make new friends and usually I get along better with guys. Are there sites to make friends? Craigslist had strictly platonic but now that is gone. Maybe if I had a true guy friend... I wouldn't have wasted as much time as I did in my current situation; which I am working myself out of. Baby steps🤞

Why on earth are you looking for friends on the internet like Craigslist? You are extremely easy prey and depending on how much information you give out you are asking for the wrong types of attention. Being female and your age alone will draw sharks like blood in the water. If you really are serious about finding someone to date, you're going to have to peel back all your insecurities and fears, be honest and meet people more on your level. If you don't know what your level is, at least start meeting people either in person (join local interest groups) or join a dating app if you are not underaged.

I strongly encourage you to peel back those layers and ask yourself some tough questions. You're walking bait at this time and the serious ones will not take you seriously. The weirdos will venerate you.

If you want to make friends. You use Patook app. It's for friendship only!

I made some really good friends there.

Hahaha, back in the day strictly platonic resulted in a couple good friends; much easier to weed out the creepers lol. But I totally hear what you are saying. I'm more looking for guys that just wanna chat about normal everyday stuff. But it just seems like men and women can't be friends without guys making it sexual now a days

Gender bias threads get closed here.

Thanks happyfrank! I will do that 😁.

Dating apps are not the ideal place to make friends. They're oriented toward romance, so what you'll find on there are people interested in versions of romance, from one night stands to FWBs to lifelong partnership. Nature of the beast. Going on there in hopes of finding a good guy friend is a bit like going to a bar to find a good sponsor to help you work on staying sober—a recipe for frustration and disappointment.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but you are basically just out of a long relationship? I'd imagine that's why you're only interested in friendship right now. Great. Get out there and do something new—a pottery class, a birdwatching club, or some such. You'll meet new people, maybe make a friend, without trying to wrestle friendship out of the world of romance.

Go on the dating apps only when you're seeking romance, ready for romance, and know what your romantic intentions are. Friendships can sometimes come from that, but it's rare—the exception, not the rule.

Are you looking for chat buddies of the opposite sex or to meet up and go out (spend time together as friends)?

I'm not gender bias, that's why I said guys SEEM to care, not guys ONLY care lol. But I hear what you are saying... it has been my general experience, that men are completely fine "drinking the milk" without any intention of ever buying the cow. Not all men are like that but we talking about the general public, not the select few that I am obviously searching for hahaha.

I mean, I'd like a guy to hangout with but my life is kinda busy so I don't have a lot of time. Going to the movies, meeting up for dinner, him dishing about the girls he wants to be with and me asking all the questions every girl wants to know. Emailing and texting is ideal most of the time.

I mean, I'd like a guy to hangout with but my life is kinda busy so I don't have a lot of time. Going to the movies, meeting up for dinner, him dishing about the girls he wants to be with and me asking all the questions every girl wants to know. Emailing and texting is ideal most of the time.

You don't need a chat buddy/man-friend for that. Just visit the forums more often. It depends on the role you want to play though. If you want more involvement as a friend in another person's life, perhaps this is best for you. It seems a bit troublesome and meddlesome to me.

Dating apps are not the ideal place to make friends. They're oriented toward romance, so what you'll find on there are people interested in versions of romance, from one night stands to FWBs to lifelong partnership. Nature of the beast. Going on there in hopes of finding a good guy friend is a bit like going to a bar to find a good sponsor to help you work on staying sober—a recipe for frustration and disappointment.

 

Correct me if I'm wrong, but you are basically just out of a long relationship? I'd imagine that's why you're only interested in friendship right now. Great. Get out there and do something new—a pottery class, a birdwatching club, or some such. You'll meet new people, maybe make a friend, without trying to wrestle friendship out of the world of romance.

 

Go on the dating apps only when you're seeking romance, ready for romance, and know what your romantic intentions are. Friendships can sometimes come from that, but it's rare—the exception, not the rule.

You are completely 100% correct. I couldn't agree more. I don't even know why they put that as an option on those sites lol. Like you said, to attract people looking for those types of relationships. Another member gave me a just friendship app so I am going to try that.

When I read your post OP I went "Oh oh she doesn't know..." Guess what....in a lot of dating app circles or "looking for" ads, women use "Looking for friendship" as a code for casual hookup. That would explain the type of responses you have been getting lol. The reason why they do this is to not look like a ho, and be a little more discrete about their activity.

If you are a tomboy like me, you need to have guy-ish hobbies (cars, sports, your favorite band beer), and hang out in forums related to those interests. easy-peasy

You don't need a chat buddy for that. Just visit the forums more often.

I'm starting to realize that, the more I use it. That's why I have been coming more often. Now I need to return the favor to everyone else

I wouldn't look for friendships online other than through online book clubs, or meetup, or through in person volunteer work or fitness center classes/biking/hiking groups. Our friend made a good friend through a craigslist ad from a woman who wanted to go biking. They were just friends for awhile. They've now been married about 12 years. I dated on and off for 24 years or so before getting married in 2008. Sure I met men who were looking for sex. They were the exception. Because of how/where I met men -including through on line sites -I quickly weeded out men who were looking for a fling -or never had contact with them. On the whole I was treated with respect and like a lady. And I had and have a number of platonic male friends.

So here’s the irony in your post...

Dating apps are used for... wait for it... dating.

People use if for other things like hookups, you’re annoyed at that, does a man then get to be annoyed that he went on a dating website to date and he’s wasting his time with a girl who only wants to chit chat and braid each others hair?

I mean seriously

Come on...

When I read your post OP I went "Oh oh she doesn't know..." Guess what....in a lot of dating app circles or "looking for" ads, women use "Looking for friendship" as a code for casual hookup. That would explain the type of responses you have been getting lol. The reason why they do this is to not look like a ho, and be a little more discrete about their activity.

If you are a tomboy like me, you need to have guy-ish hobbies (cars, sports, your favorite band beer), and hang out in forums related to those interests. easy-peasy

Yea, I haven't been in the dating scene for 8 years and before that dating apps were just becoming a thing. So I don't really know the lingo. But now that you say all of this, it makes a lot of sense. Thank you so much.

Hopefully you're on (paid) quality apps, not hookup apps. Craig's list, really? If the conversation turns sexual shut it down and delete them, it's that simple. Also you should not be chitchatting this much prior to meeting. That in itself is a red flag. The first few messages should be about a brief intro and setting up a meet. If it's not you're engaging in chitchat too much or on the wrong apps.

After moments of conversing it always turns sexual. I get it, we are adults. You are attracted to me in a sexual way.

I don't think it's adult at all to bring up sex with a stranger unless the site is for that purpose.

Waiiiit a minute.

You just wrote you had a boyfriend of 8 years on 8/17

Did you break up?

Gender bashing is not allowed...Thread closed.