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Thread: Guys seem to just care about one thing

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Girlface33
    I mean, I'd like a guy to hangout with but my life is kinda busy so I don't have a lot of time. Going to the movies, meeting up for dinner, him dishing about the girls he wants to be with and me asking all the questions every girl wants to know. Emailing and texting is ideal most of the time.
    You don't need a chat buddy/man-friend for that. Just visit the forums more often. It depends on the role you want to play though. If you want more involvement as a friend in another person's life, perhaps this is best for you. It seems a bit troublesome and meddlesome to me.

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    Dating apps are not the ideal place to make friends. They're oriented toward romance, so what you'll find on there are people interested in versions of romance, from one night stands to FWBs to lifelong partnership. Nature of the beast. Going on there in hopes of finding a good guy friend is a bit like going to a bar to find a good sponsor to help you work on staying sober—a recipe for frustration and disappointment.

    Correct me if I'm wrong, but you are basically just out of a long relationship? I'd imagine that's why you're only interested in friendship right now. Great. Get out there and do something new—a pottery class, a birdwatching club, or some such. You'll meet new people, maybe make a friend, without trying to wrestle friendship out of the world of romance.

    Go on the dating apps only when you're seeking romance, ready for romance, and know what your romantic intentions are. Friendships can sometimes come from that, but it's rare—the exception, not the rule.
    You are completely 100% correct. I couldn't agree more. I don't even know why they put that as an option on those sites lol. Like you said, to attract people looking for those types of relationships. Another member gave me a just friendship app so I am going to try that.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    When I read your post OP I went "Oh oh she doesn't know..." Guess what....in a lot of dating app circles or "looking for" ads, women use "Looking for friendship" as a code for casual hookup. That would explain the type of responses you have been getting lol. The reason why they do this is to not look like a ho, and be a little more discrete about their activity.
    If you are a tomboy like me, you need to have guy-ish hobbies (cars, sports, your favorite band beer), and hang out in forums related to those interests. easy-peasy

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    You don't need a chat buddy for that. Just visit the forums more often.
    I'm starting to realize that, the more I use it. That's why I have been coming more often. Now I need to return the favor to everyone else

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  6. #15
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    I wouldn't look for friendships online other than through online book clubs, or meetup, or through in person volunteer work or fitness center classes/biking/hiking groups. Our friend made a good friend through a craigslist ad from a woman who wanted to go biking. They were just friends for awhile. They've now been married about 12 years. I dated on and off for 24 years or so before getting married in 2008. Sure I met men who were looking for sex. They were the exception. Because of how/where I met men -including through on line sites -I quickly weeded out men who were looking for a fling -or never had contact with them. On the whole I was treated with respect and like a lady. And I had and have a number of platonic male friends.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    So here’s the irony in your post...

    Dating apps are used for... wait for it... dating.

    People use if for other things like hookups, you’re annoyed at that, does a man then get to be annoyed that he went on a dating website to date and he’s wasting his time with a girl who only wants to chit chat and braid each others hair?

    I mean seriously

    Come on...

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by smackie9
    When I read your post OP I went "Oh oh she doesn't know..." Guess what....in a lot of dating app circles or "looking for" ads, women use "Looking for friendship" as a code for casual hookup. That would explain the type of responses you have been getting lol. The reason why they do this is to not look like a ho, and be a little more discrete about their activity.
    If you are a tomboy like me, you need to have guy-ish hobbies (cars, sports, your favorite band beer), and hang out in forums related to those interests. easy-peasy
    Yea, I haven't been in the dating scene for 8 years and before that dating apps were just becoming a thing. So I don't really know the lingo. But now that you say all of this, it makes a lot of sense. Thank you so much.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Hopefully you're on (paid) quality apps, not hookup apps. Craig's list, really? If the conversation turns sexual shut it down and delete them, it's that simple. Also you should not be chitchatting this much prior to meeting. That in itself is a red flag. The first few messages should be about a brief intro and setting up a meet. If it's not you're engaging in chitchat too much or on the wrong apps.
    Originally Posted by Girlface33
    After moments of conversing it always turns sexual. I get it, we are adults. You are attracted to me in a sexual way.

  10. #19
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    I don't think it's adult at all to bring up sex with a stranger unless the site is for that purpose.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Waiiiit a minute.

    You just wrote you had a boyfriend of 8 years on 8/17

    Did you break up?

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