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Thread: What consider cheating?

  1. #1
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    What consider cheating?

    Hi, I just want a better understanding on what consider cheating.

    About two years ago, i had an argument with my ex over him cheating on me. What happened was, one day i saw a msg on his phone from a girl I didn't know. As a scrolled back on the msgs, I discovered that he was flirting with her. Saying stuff like you're really pretty and cute, please don't give me the cold shoulder again, I miss talking to you, I'm here if you ever need me, I'm single at the moment but seeing my ex, probably will be over soon (we were still together at that time, I was over his place so we can spend time together like we normally do).

    When i confronted him, he said that is not cheating it was only a bit more than a nice msg, a little harmless flirting but there was no intention behind it since she live in a different state. Then he said he only said I was an ex because he believe that we would break up soon cause i don't love him for him but only the idea of him.

    I asked a few people I know and most said that it is emotional cheating, but there was also 1 or 2 guys who said that it doesn't consider as cheating. I believe that it is cheating. Can I get your opinions on this matter.

  2. #2
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    It was cheating. This was two years ago. Why is this coming up again?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Cheaters will always tell you 'it's nothing', 'harmless flirting' etc. trust your instincts here.

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    "Getting back with my ex
    Hi, lím Beth and Iím having trouble deciding what to do. Any advise will be very helpful.

    Me and my ex dated for about 4 years, the first 3yrs was amazing but in the last year we start to drift apart, he stop caring and didnít want to hangout or even make effort or our anniversary. We talked about breaking up but never gone through with it cause it was too hard. I caught him flirting with a girl on fb, which he apologise and block her. About a month before he broke up with me, I notice he was interested in someone else since he didnít want me around when she around. When I confronted him, he said Iím imagining things. We eventually broke up, I was heart broken and in pain but he was fine. I found out that not long after we broke up he went and slept with that girl. He was out partying and having fun.

    Fast forward 2 years, Iíve finally pull myself together and focusing on me. Then he suddenly msg me wanting to meet up to apologise. He wanted to get back together and said how sorry he is for everything and he regret letting me go. We talked for hours and he said his a change man now, give him a chance to prove it. I still have feelings for him but Iím not sure whether to trust him or not. I donít know what to do since he seem really sincere about everything. Can a person changed?" From June.

    Why haven't you blocked and deleted this guy? He cheated on you with two girls that you know of.
    Last edited by Hollyj; 08-26-2019 at 07:52 PM.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Yes it's emotional cheating. Those 1 or 2 guys are guilty of it obviously and are dbags like your ex. But yes there are people who believe only sexual contact is considered cheating...but I'm sure if they found their love of their life monkey branching on them they would change their tune.

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    There must be other men in your city.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Sure, I'd consider that a form of emotional cheating. And if that potent label doesn't fly for all linguistic professors, it doesn't negate the hard fact that it is purely lousy, shady, d-bag behavior. Anyone trying to argue that it's "harmless"ówell, that's how they let you know they are a lousy, shady d-bag.

    Which leads to the other question: Why devote all this time to trying to understand a lousy, shady d-bag who you are no longer in a relationship with?

    Whether he continues to live his life in the shade or has a come-to-Jesus moment won't negate the hurt he's caused you. Best to distance ourselves from sources of pain, not keep finding ways to keep them spinning around in our heads.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    It's cheating because he was deceitful and msg'd her behind your back.

    He acted normal in front of you and when you weren't looking, he msg'd another woman and played both sides of the fence.

    The 1 to 2 guys said it wasn't cheating because they themselves are capable of doing it if they hadn't already and they don't have integrity nor a conscience.

    An honorable MAN would've told you, yes, it was cheating because the guy msg-ing the woman wasn't playing by the rules of common decency.

  10. #9
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    Thank you for all your comments. The reason I asked is because my ex decided to pop back into my life after 2yrs and wanted a second chance. However when I brought up the fact he cheated on me, even though he did agree that he kinda did this time round, but I still feel he didnít regret what happened.

    So Iím just curious to how can he think he didnít really do anything wrong, and he keep saying it wasnít physically cheating. Make me so frustrated and just want to know other opinions.

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by Wonder01234
    Thank you for all your comments. The reason I asked is because my ex decided to pop back into my life after 2yrs and wanted a second chance. However when I brought up the fact he cheated on me, even though he did agree that he kinda did this time round, but I still feel he didnít regret what happened.

    So Iím just curious to how can he think he didnít really do anything wrong, and he keep saying it wasnít physically cheating. Make me so frustrated and just want to know other opinions.
    If you had blocked him, you would not be dealing with any of this.

    Who cares what he says. Move on with your life. It has been two years.

    At the very least he emotionally cheated. You do not know if he physically cheated. Emotional cheating is just as bad.

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