Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 23

Thread: What consider cheating?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    1,170
    Originally Posted by Wonder01234
    Thank you for all your comments. The reason I asked is because my ex decided to pop back into my life after 2yrs and wanted a second chance. However when I brought up the fact he cheated on me, even though he did agree that he kinda did this time round, but I still feel he didnít regret what happened.

    So Iím just curious to how can he think he didnít really do anything wrong, and he keep saying it wasnít physically cheating. Make me so frustrated and just want to know other opinions.
    No second chances because it's unrealistic to expect a man to change.

    When you brought up cheating to him, he didn't regret it happened because he doesn't have a conscience; he doesn't know the difference between right and wrong behavior. He lacks empathy and doesn't feel for you. Once you understand that concept, it will make sense to you and it's no longer a mystery whether it's him or anyone on this planet.

    He thinks he didn't do anything wrong because again, he lacks empathy, doesn't feel for you or others. He acts this way because he's selfish and self-centered. It's me, me, me, me, me and who cares what you think and who cares how you feel? He doesn't care about the consequences. He feels very indifferent because he lacks empathy and doesn't feel for other people! It's all about him and never about the other person such as you.

    I know you're frustrated and I'm sorry. However, once you understand the dark side of people's personalities and the dark side of human nature, instead of feeling frustrated and hurt, you become cold and educated. It's not only human psychology, it's how many men or people are.

    You become wary and jaded. Naivete is no more.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    1,170
    He says it wasn't physically cheating. The problem here was his deceitful behavior to flirt and msg the girl behind your back unbeknownst to you. That right there breaks the rules in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, marriage, often times friendships and many relationships. There's no loyalty and devotion to you. He has someone on the side, acting flirtatious and paying attention to her instead of you being his sole focus in a relationship. It's common sense.

    Pretending to be devoted to you while secretly msg-ing another woman behind your back breaks the moral code of being a decent, honorable human being. There is a lack of integrity here. It's dishonest and betrays your trust in him.

    It breaks 'The Golden Rule' of "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

    It's sneaky and he's slick. Beware. Run for the hills !

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Location
    British Columbia, Canada
    Posts
    2,402
    Gender
    Female
    I agree with the others. Listen to your instincts and don't second guess yourself.

  4. #14
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    16,766
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Wonder01234
    Thank you for all your comments. The reason I asked is because my ex decided to pop back into my life after 2yrs and wanted a second chance. However when I brought up the fact he cheated on me, even though he did agree that he kinda did this time round, but I still feel he didnít regret what happened.

    So Iím just curious to how can he think he didnít really do anything wrong, and he keep saying it wasnít physically cheating. Make me so frustrated and just want to know other opinions.
    Obviously he needs to upgrade his lying skills. In any event if you think you can change this gem of a man, you're barking up the wrong tree.

    As to what he thinks, that's the problem...he doesn't think.

  5.  

  6. #15
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    34,927
    Gender
    Male
    Don't bother beating him over the head with this again. He shouldn't even have been able to contact you or initiate this dialogue because he should have been blocked, forgotten and you should be in a happy committed relationship by now. Get over this. In fact he's probably just chatting you up while still being with someone else. You know this because this is who he is.
    Originally Posted by Wonder01234
    my ex decided to pop back into my life after 2yrs and wanted a second chance. However when I brought up the fact he cheated on me, even though he did agree that he kinda did this time round, but I still feel he didnít regret what happened.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Surrey BC, Canada
    Posts
    1,193
    Gender
    Female
    Jeeezzz louis! He's just telling you what you want to hear to get back into your good graces....and he's just trying to manipulate you once again. You know he's a dbag, you know he doesn't care what he did, so after two years why the hell haven't you blocked and deleted him. Girl it's time to move on with your life. YOU will never ever get him to acknowledge or admit what he did was wrong...it's over, be done with him.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member SooSad33's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    6,739
    Saying stuff like you're really pretty and cute, please don't give me the cold shoulder again, I miss talking to you, I'm here if you ever need me, I'm single at the moment but seeing my ex, probably will be over soon

    Wow! :/.. This says enough.. ya think?

    I say sooo many red flags are staring you right in the face here!.. WHY stick around someone who's said such things
    to another woman? Lacks in respect or appreciation for YOU. :(.

    Get away from this loser! If they dont appreciate you they dont deserve you.

    Enough.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    50,474
    I mean I don't think it matters if you label it "cheating" -it's inconsistent with being in a committed relationship. i'd feel sick to my stomach if I saw a text like that -enough for me.

  10. #19
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    132
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Wonder01234
    I asked a few people I know and most said that it is emotional cheating, but there was also 1 or 2 guys who said that it doesn't consider as cheating. I believe that it is cheating. Can I get your opinions on this matter.
    I have never really believed in "emotional cheating." For me, especially in a dating relationship talking is not cheating.

    Your BF was doing more then talking. He was flirting. That is a slippery slope. I could get past a one off comment made to somebody in passing, like a waitress. But sustained conversations over social media are more problematic. Again the emphasis is on sustained. One compliment to somebody on social media is just a compliment, not a threat to your relationship

    Whether it's cheating or not, you are uncomfortable with this behavior. That makes it not OK in your world & your relationship. If whoever you are dating doesn't respect your feelings enough to take them into account & possibly alter their behavior as a show of caring for you, then perhaps you need to re-evaluate.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Central Canada
    Posts
    13,744
    Gender
    Female
    He was priming her to be with him. (while he was with you) It was only a matter of time (if she took his bait) before he turned that emotional affair into a physical one. As Blue mentioned, why keep a d-bag in your life? Surely you believe you can do better than the likes of a d-bag???? Block and delete him and get on with your life without him in it in any capacity.

Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •