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Thread: I have a huge crush on a coworker, but i'm married

  1. #1

    I have a huge crush on a coworker, but i'm married

    It started a year ago, he was new and used to come and talk to me every day in my office. He is single, im married with one child. AT first it was a little bit strange but as time went by I started to like this, at first as a friend, but know I lost my mind for him. He is very fun, and now I can admit that I had a crush on him from the moment we first talked. Maybe he has noticed that. Every coffe braek, lunch break is with him, afterwork sometimes. It is happening every day. Messages are all day long. He is giving me nice compliments, asking me out sometimes. I'm going crazy I lost my mind. I really don't know how to stop this. I will be absent for a few weeks from my workplace in the next period. My husband has noticed this and he is very julouse. Please help

  2. #2
    Silver Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    Look at the title of your thread... "....., but I'm married". There's your answer.. STOP THIS NOW!

  3. #3
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    You know how to stop this. You just don't want to, because the attention and flattery feels too good.

    If you don't want to make a total mess of your life, end this emotional affair and concentrate on fixing what's broken inside your marriage. Remember that even if you and your crush took things to a physical level, it doesn't mean it would evolve into a relationship. This man is knowingly pursuing a married woman. That often doesn't end well, and will leave you in even more pain when he eventually meets another woman and leaves you in the dust, with no crush and an unhappy marriage. Very frequently, people who go after married folks are not looking for a relationship with them, but an easy way to have some fun without the commitment.

    If you no longer want to be married, that's your choice. Ending it honorably will be a heck of a lot easier in the long-run than blowing everything up with this affair. Again, you would need to end it because the marriage is broken beyond repair and not because you think your crush will be waiting with open arms. That's not generally how these stories end.

  4. #4
    Silver Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    You know how to stop this. You just don't want to, because the attention and flattery feels too good.

    If you don't want to make a total mess of your life, end this emotional affair and concentrate on fixing what's broken inside your marriage. Remember that even if you and your crush took things to a physical level, it doesn't mean it would evolve into a relationship. This man is knowingly pursuing a married woman. That often doesn't end well, and will leave you in even more pain when he eventually meets another woman and leaves you in the dust, with no crush and an unhappy marriage. Very frequently, people who go after married folks are not looking for a relationship with them, but an easy way to have some fun without the commitment.

    If you no longer want to be married, that's your choice. Ending it honorably will be a heck of a lot easier in the long-run than blowing everything up with this affair. Again, you would need to end it because the marriage is broken beyond repair and not because you think your crush will be waiting with open arms. That's not generally how these stories end.
    AMEN! I lived through this... trust me MissCanuck hit the nail right on the head!!!

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  6. #5
    Originally Posted by Camber 2019
    AMEN! I lived through this... trust me MissCanuck hit the nail right on the head!!!
    What happened in your story?

  7. #6
    Silver Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MyTime007
    What happened in your story?
    I was the one who had a huge crush on someone while I was married. I left my wife of 14 years for her. We got married, had a child, and 4 years later she wanted a divorce because she was pursuing yet another married man...

  8. #7
    Originally Posted by Camber 2019
    I was the one who had a huge crush on someone while I was married. I left my wife of 14 years for her. We got married, had a child, and 4 years later she wanted a divorce because she was pursuing yet another married man...
    It's like they are addicted to pursuing... I really dont know what he wants from me, never speaks about it, just giving me compliments, saying how he would miss me so much when Im gone. It is difficult to stop something while you work with him. Every day I say it is over and here comes again another morning...

  9. #8
    Silver Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MyTime007
    It's like they are addicted to pursuing...
    They are... and they boost their egos by breaking up marriages.

    So if you are attracted by his flirting, this tells me you are unhappy about something in your marriage. You need to at least try to work on your marriage instead of considering another romance to make you feel better temporarily. Be careful, this can spiral out of control.

  10. #9
    Silver Member MirrorKnight's Avatar
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    Where is your sense of responsibility to your husband, family and child?

    What happened to wedding vows?

  11. #10
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    Go ahead and divorce your husband for this low quality man. Pursue your crush. Then when he dumps you because the thrill of pursuing a married woman is gone you can live on your own without the bother of a husband who gets in the way of your crushes.

    If this doesn't sound like the wonderful future you've always dreamed of, stop this now. You can stop it, you just don't want to. Maybe you feel you're special and deserve a husband AND a boyfriend. Or maybe you do have a conscience and a sense of morals and will end this affair today.

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