You made a pros/cons list but it is only cons. You know the right answer here, you just don't have the confidence to let go.
You've already been divorced. Is your fear of being alone really stronger than your fear of being hurt again?
This woman has ALREADY hurt you... multiple times... so the chances are near 100% she will hurt you again.
Your focus should be on values and character, even though the debt bit is important. " She is beautiful, skinny, educated, no debt," She has lied and chested, and is also looking for visa.
Listen to your mother! Why are you so desperate?
You have very poor judgement in women, probably due to the fact that you seek superficial, instead of character. Red flags all over the place, yet you want to marry. Hmmmm.
She's looking to get married so she can stay in your country, this seems pretty obvious to me. I think you'd be making a big mistake to marry her. Settling for this woman will most likely backfire on you.
I don't see where in your post you say you actually love this woman? I understand the appeal, you are 53 and you have a young, pretty, slim/hot bod woman, and so forth. Certainly for sex and companionship it sounds good. Call me old-fashioned but to me marriage is a huge deal, it's special and not to be thrown around lightly. She probably needs this marriage to stay in your country so she has a gain from it. But what do you need it for? You've already been married and you have experienced marriage and all that. This woman has been very unreliable, deceitful and also cheated on you. These things alone are enough to not pursue it with her any further. If you only want to marry her to have a pretty young thing on your arm then sure, you can do that. But other than that it doesn't sound like your relationship actually has love and substance, and that goes for both of you.
It's a no go ever since you mentioned your being old enough to be her father, she lied to you, slept with other men, withheld secrets and you are a parent, not a partner. You're not sure about getting married? Do you need to get your head examined? Splash cold water on your face, take a cold shower and wake up!
Cancel your marriage plans.
At age 53, remain in your own age bracket with women and stick with a woman who won't give you a life of strife.
Cut her loose brother, you don’t want the heartache. You know what she really wants.
You know what's happening, right? You're comfortable, it's easy. You have what she wants and she has what you want. But... getting married for these reason is foolhardy and you know it.
This would have had me walking away a long time ago. You've wasted your time on her since, and I can't fathom why you'd consider a future with her.She has lied to me, slept with other men, kept secrets from me. I feel more like her parent
We never get any wasted time back to live over again. I'd liberate myself from this mess and find someone better to date at my own leisure.
Those doubts you are having . . . Listen to them! There is more wrong here then right.
It's NYC & you are a doctor. You should be able to find new women to date in a NY minute. Don't settle for a woman who wants you for a green card.
If you are not inclined to listen to me, speak to an immigration lawyer about the special responsibilities you will have under the law if you marry. You will be obligated to support her if you divorce. It's more then alimony etc.
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