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Thread: Postponed 3rd date, concerning?

  1. #1
    Bronze Member Bismark776's Avatar
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    Postponed 3rd date, concerning?

    Admittedly I'm overthinking this, but I feel like I'll relax a bit if I write it out and have the outlet.

    A little background first: A woman and I met on an app, chatted for a bit, I asked her to coffee and we met at local place, talked for a few hours, then went our separate ways. We did both say we'd like to go out again. I sent her a follow-up message with my number and she texted me the next day. We texted a little bit but mostly just scheduling a second date which was dinner at a nice Italian restaurant. We had a good time on the second date, laughing, commonalities, etc. After the date I walked her to her subway station and we chatted for a bit there, we talked about our schedules over the next month. She's been busy on weekends but said she'd let me know if a day opened up and that her weeknights were mostly free. We talked about doing more dinners and going to beergardens (her suggestion) in the area. We hugged goodbye and I kissed her on the cheek, as she pulled back she said something like, "let's do this right" and went back in for a closed mouth kiss, which, being the awkward guy I am, was a little awkward. We kind of laughed it off and then she went to her train.

    I texted her a link to a recent article about local beergardens and she suggested one to go to on Wednesday (she actually picked a place with wine, remembering my preference for wine over beer). The next day she texted back that she forgot she already had plans on Wednesday and asked if we could do it Friday instead, which I confirmed was fine, so we're going to do that.

    So on the plus side: we talk and laugh well in person, there's certainly some intellectual chemistry there. Also, she initiated the "real" kiss, she could've just left it at the cheek. Finally, she did suggest the day and location of the date, instead of just kind of letting me push things while putting in minimal effort herself.

    My concerns however: while the conversation was great in person, she responds to texts very slowly and non-conversationally. She's probably just not really into texting, but it could also be that she doesn't want to invest the time/energy. The kiss was awkward and that's obviously not good for me. Lastly, the postponement from Wednesday to Friday - I can't help but feel like there's another guy (hey its only a 3rd date and we met online, she's entitled to it) and she might've bumped me because she'd rather see what happens with him first. It all just feels very tenuous and I feel like I'm going to get a "so I met someone before you, we went out Wednesday and it looks like its going to become something serious, you're great blablabla, good luck" message. I hate that I'll probably have to wait until Thursday to see what happens with that.

    So I don't know, I guess I'll probably just get a response or two here saying to chill out and see what happens. But interested in feedback regardless. Thanks for your time.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Dude Friday night is prime time congratz....you didn't get "bumped".

  3. #3
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    Originally Posted by smackie9
    Dude Friday night is prime time congratz....you didn't get "bumped".
    AGREE!!
    Also, you will sabotage this if you continue to overthink it. She is not a texter. Focus on the fact that she suggested the place for the next date = she is highly interested!! The fact that you both laughed at the awkwardness is GOOD. She LIKES YOU!

  4. #4
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    If she offered to reschedule and to a weekend night then there is zero cause for concern.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by smackie9
    Dude Friday night is prime time congratz....you didn't get "bumped".
    Totally.

    She may not want to invest with a lot of texting until she sees itís actually going somewhere... or doesnít want to be tied to her phone... or both.

    Pace yourself with online communication... donít build a relationship over text... and focus on getting to know her in person.

  7. #6
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    You need to relax. Not everybody is attached to their phone.

    You have a date on Friday. I do not understand why you are questioning any of this?

  8. #7
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    She moved it to a weekend! OMG dude, signals are super loud, and she planned the place. You need to get your hearing checked, cuz there's nothing but ding-ding-ding going on. She sounds super sweet too.

  9. #8
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    "I can't help but feel like there's another guy (hey its only a 3rd date and we met online, she's entitled to it) and she might've bumped me because she'd rather see what happens with him first"

    Dude! And, maybe she has plans with her gfs. Good grief. Friday is preferable to Wednesday.

    You really need to get your anxiety under control.
    Last edited by Hollyj; 08-26-2019 at 02:17 PM.

  10. #9
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    The fact that sheís wanting to meet up with you on a Friday (her precious weekend time) is a plus/compliment!

    Enjoy it and have fun!

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You got upgraded. Enjoy the date.

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