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Thread: Postponed 3rd date, concerning?

  1. #11
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    Woah, too much over-reaction over something so trivial! You are getting way too worked up over what is still a very early stage date! If you are not careful you are going to come across too needy and intense and scare her off!

    Why do you think you are an awkward guy? Do not just accept such labels... if you get nervous on dates, go on more of them with more women, get some more practice, gain confidence and get rid of your scarcity mentality so you are not overthinking a single date with a single woman. Obviously if things progress with her to the exclusive stage, then you stop seeing other women, but until then, it does not hurt to cast a wide net.

  2. #12
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    It's normal to not invest in texting with someone new. She may or may not be dating others - but that's not a cause for concern. Many people are. The purpose of the early dating is to have fun, learn about yourself, and feel out whether the other person may or may not be a match for you. Worry less about how you come across - you don't have a ton of control over that. Instead, see what you can learn about her. Two things happen when you focus on yourself - it can make you more awkward rather than less, and it can cause you to miss red flags that you should have seen if things do progress.

    You got a kiss on the second date, that's a good sign! Next time will be better, my first kiss with a girl has always been really awkward, but it gets better after that.

  3. #13
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    Would you rather she text you all day long but not see you in person?

    Why are you trying to ruin this for yourself? What are you afraid of?

  4. #14
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Oh the horror.....you got upgraded to prime date night.....better strap in tight....clearly she doesn't like you much....

    Honestly, OP, can you try to be a little less self centered? I can guarantee you that people just do not think about you as much as you think about yourself and most definitely do not sit and micro analyze every single step and misstep you've made. I don't know how to break this to you, but you are human and humans ARE flawed. It's good, it's endearing, it's what makes life interesting, it's what adds fun and joy and color to life. So do yourself a favor and turn off your inner critic...or at least turned down the volume on it....a lot....

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  6. #15
    Bronze Member Bismark776's Avatar
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    I did not anticipate this many responses, I figured one or two would weigh in with a quick "stop being ridiculous". Anyway, thanks for all this. Just a little explanation - I've been single for a pretty long time, I've been on a ton of dates in that time, and have been rejected, cancelled on, ghosted, curbed, etc. by all but a small handful of those dates. I do overthink and jump to a negative conclusion too quickly, but its coming from years and years of precedent. Maybe it'll be different this time.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I wouldn't be too concerned about the move to Friday. See how it goes. What doesn't feel good to me was how awkward and seemingly forced that kiss was. Was it really that necessary and what's the rush? I'd figure out whether you're actually as into her as you might have thought at first. It is ok not to feel any or enough chemistry with someone despite the date going well and the conversation being great. Your connection may not be what you need in order to continue a long term or longer term romance.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by Bismark776
    I did not anticipate this many responses, I figured one or two would weigh in with a quick "stop being ridiculous". Anyway, thanks for all this. Just a little explanation - I've been single for a pretty long time, I've been on a ton of dates in that time, and have been rejected, cancelled on, ghosted, curbed, etc. by all but a small handful of those dates. I do overthink and jump to a negative conclusion too quickly, but its coming from years and years of precedent. Maybe it'll be different this time.
    Most people aren't our match. Rather than wondering if or if not this one is going to succeed, try to take it one step at a time and just enjoy the moments. Try to make those moments as good for both parties as you can.

    The best relationships I've had have been a series of great moments.

  9. #18
    Gold Member thisisrichey's Avatar
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    As I like to put it - it's never the incident itself that matters - it's what hapens in the aftermath that matters.
    That she postponed the date is not an issue. It's how she explains it or what she does after postponing the date that matters.

    Life happens. Plans chaging happens. don't conclude anythign until you see what she says or does about it after she postpones it. (If she's already rescheduled the date to get together another time - you're gold. It just means somethign came up.... sue her..)

    It's the AFTERMATH that tells you everything, not the incident itself - ALWAYS!

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    I agree, you're reading too much into this.

    Not everyone is into texting. I know a lot of people who don't enjoy texting back 'n forth. They're either very blunt, don't reply quickly and often or ignore. You have to back off with the texting if you know she's not into texting. Texting / typing takes time and not everyone wants to stop and take the time to text or become glued to their cell phone.

    If kissing is awkward, tell her "let's do this right by slowing down." She sounds forward and aggressive. If you wish to slow the pace, then say so.

    Postponement from Wed to Fri is perfectly permissible. She didn't cancel nor decline so be grateful.

    You don't know if there's another guy in her life. Give her the benefit of the doubt and don't assume nor presume about another man otherwise your suspicious or accusatory thoughts could backfire one day. Be careful.

    Since you already have the seeds of doubt deeply implanted within your brain, slow your roll and establish friendship with her first. Don't dive into a relationship yet. Take it SLOW. Get to know her character and personality more and give her a chance to observe and evaluate your personality and character, too. See if both of you are compatible and trustworthy.

    Yes, chill out. Don't be so uptight, nervous nor second guess her. Be more easy going and relax otherwise you'll make her nervous.

    A good way to scare her off is if you are perceived as insecure. Be more sure self assured and look forward to having a good time at the beergardens this Fri!

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    I wouldn't be too concerned about the move to Friday. See how it goes. What doesn't feel good to me was how awkward and seemingly forced that kiss was. Was it really that necessary and what's the rush? I'd figure out whether you're actually as into her as you might have thought at first. It is ok not to feel any or enough chemistry with someone despite the date going well and the conversation being great. Your connection may not be what you need in order to continue a long term or longer term romance.
    I think he kissed her far too early. I think its fine that it was awkward because most first kisses are. I would have been patient, though and waited for a better moment/. I wonder if you "had" to do the kiss if you think you aren't a good dater so she had a reason to be scared off - sort of like a test. You have to relax. Don't try for another kiss. Let her initiate.

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