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Thread: I have a huge crush on a coworker, but i'm married

  1. #21
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    Originally Posted by MyTime007
    That is the problem, I dont know what I want and where im going right now. I like him so much but I know it is the wrong thing.
    So you are considering continuing with this affair? Because you want to?

    Run that plan past your husband and see what he thinks.

  2. #22
    Bronze Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    THIS.

    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    You decide what you value more, the frivolous attention of another man (and yes it is frivolous and most likely has nothing to do with you - it's his ego as you are 'unavailable' and as such pulling you is a huge ego boost) OR your own integrity and sense of responsibility to your husband and child.

    My god you are acting like some sort of victim who has no control over herself; get your shyt together and start behaving like a grown up for heaven's sake.
    Remember my story. You are playing with fire...

  3. #23
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    This coworker represents things that are missing at home.
    Originally Posted by MyTime007
    He is single, im married with one child.He is giving me nice compliments, asking me out sometimes.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Recognizing it is just a crush (which happens/normal) and not taking it any further is what most people do, you are over stepping and cheating. Yes this is emotional cheating, an affair, and your husband has every right to be upset with you. All what you feel is just fantasy, a dopamine induced addiction to escape your not so emotionally stimulating marriage. But darling you will lose so so much if you continue this. This coworker is not what he seems...he's not going to be a great husband, he's not going to be a great father, or provider....that is what your husband is. This guy is in it to hit it, then it will fizzle out because he will not fulfill your expectations once the fog in your brain finally lifts. Reality will hit that you threw away everything because some dude makes you swoon at work.

    You can turn this around, by having a good long think about what you are about to lose, what your child will lose, the hurt and pain this will cause both your families, your friends, husband and child, the life you built together. Next, get yourself into couples counseling and see what changes can be made to improve your relationship with your husband. He's not a mind reader, he doesn't understand what happened to you or to "us". I'm quite positive he will give you special attention, and work on quality time with you, date you, etc. Having a flirtation with a coworker is NOT your answer. Please take my advice....get some help before it's too late.

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  6. #25
    Thanks a lot for every advice. It is very difficult when u find yourself in a situation like this, since u can not tell anyone, not even your best friend, even though she noticed something is going on. Now I have hope that I will end this, I will be absent from work for a longer period and I think it will clear up my mind.

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by MyTime007
    Thanks a lot for every advice. It is very difficult when u find yourself in a situation like this, since u can not tell anyone, not even your best friend, even though she noticed something is going on. Now I have hope that I will end this, I will be absent from work for a longer period and I think it will clear up my mind.
    you need to fall back in love with your husband and quickly! the only way to beat something like is, is to strengthen your marriage. maybe buy a journal and start writing out how you and your husband met and how it made you feel.

    try to relive that and also start working on your marriage. you will regret ending your marriage over a crush/high.

  8. #27
    Bronze Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    Start by having "Wild Monkey Sex" with your Husband, as Doug Heffernan always says!

  9. #28
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    It's time to splash cold water on your face and take a cold shower! Wake up! Don't be stupid!

    You're married. Set a fine example to your child and act like an honorable mother and wife. Behave yourself.

    Stop the messages all day long. Back off. Don't be too close to your coworker. Remain all business, be civil, polite yet professional. No more no less. Learn to distance yourself from him. Enforce healthy boundaries. If he gives you compliments, you can say a cool, quick, blunt "thank you" and walk away. If he asks you out, remain firm and decline politely and quickly. Don't do anything foolhardy.

    Focus on your marriage and give your husband respect.

    Consider your workplace as a place to earn a paycheck and nothing more. Act like a decent, honorable lady.

    Don't create any messes. Lead a clean life.

  10. #29
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    Originally Posted by MyTime007
    Thanks a lot for every advice. It is very difficult when u find yourself in a situation like this, since u can not tell anyone, not even your best friend, even though she noticed something is going on. Now I have hope that I will end this, I will be absent from work for a longer period and I think it will clear up my mind.
    You"have hope" you will end this?

    Why are you acting like you have no control over your own actions?

    Your husband may make the decision for you by divorcing you if you continue to deceive and lie and cheat.

  11. #30
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    Originally Posted by MyTime007
    It's like they are addicted to pursuing... I really dont know what he wants from me, never speaks about it, just giving me compliments, saying how he would miss me so much when Im gone. It is difficult to stop something while you work with him. Every day I say it is over and here comes again another morning...
    Who cares what he wants. If you love you husband, don't talk to him except about work if necessary. If he comes to chat say "well, i would love to chat but i am very busy" and make your calls or do your work. Its all You because you are accepting his invites to lunch and coffee. you are the one allowing this. So don't have lunch with him. Run an errand, work through lunch at your desk or make plans with a female coworker if you cannot say no.

    Also, saying you miss a coworker is not necessarily sexual at all. perhaps you are wanting badly to read into it and assume sexual interrest.

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