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Thread: Want advice.

  1. #1
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    Want advice.

    I meet my ex boyfriend about 2 years ago. We dated. Didnt talk for a few months. Fwbs. Didnt talk for a few months. 7 month relationship. Ended. Then a couple of months ago he messaged saying how he missed me and loved me. Got back together, everything was ok for about three months. He was having his daughter come and stay for three weeks and we agreed we would see each other after the three weeks. I know that time is important to him. Everything was fine for a couple of days in then i noticed he was ignoring me so i mentioned it to him and he said he wasnt and we started arguing so i blocked him on fb and then he text me saying i could get my stuff from his if thats how i felt, we argued a little bit more then i stopped replying. After about 3 days he messaged me saying that he doesnt think we will ever properly be together and that hes sorry for everything and that its for the best. I just feel so shocked, i said this time was the last time for us and we both agreed we were going to make an effort. At first i was shocked and just said ok. I messaged again a few hours later to ask why all of a sudden he didnt want to be together, no reply. I left it about 2 days and still no reply. I sent a message saying i cant believe hes done this again and to not message me in the future because from now on my answer will always be no. And have heard nothing since. I just cant get my head round it. A few weeks ago he was loving and kind and making a real effort. I know we argued but he just choose to walk away. Just want some advice really.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. On/off relationships are about incompatibility driven by drama. Unfortunately, he's just not that into you. It would be v best to stop the games and delete him from your life.

  3. #3
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    Thank you for the advice. Its just hard because he will always contact me again after a couple of months. I dont think he will anymore now though.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Is he married or was he married to someone else or in another relationship when you met? What doesn't sit well with me is the part about him not being sure you will "ever properly be together" and that there's a child involved so there's some kind of joint or shared custody if she's underaged. What kind of "real effort" was he making prior to the three weeks with his daughter? It doesn't seem to me like he's ever given you what you've wanted in a relationship and it's bothered you for a long time.

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  6. #5
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    When we were together for the seven months, he never said he loved me so when we split up and he messaged after a couple of months and said it, i thought hed realised and thats why i tried again this time. He was making an effort to include me in his life more so than before, asking me to do things and spend time with his family. I dont know if the be together properly was in refrence to me not wanting to meet his daughter this time she came up to his, i only really said no because of our history being so up and down, i thought if we stayed together this time then i would meet her in the future. He didnt seem to have a problem with it when we agree to spend the three weeks apart though.

  7. #6
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    So you told him not to contact you and...you're upset because he hasn't tried to contact you?

    In other words, you're upset at him for respecting your wishes.

    I'm confused...UNLESS you didn't mean what you said, in which case you need to find a more mature way to communicate.

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    So you told him not to contact you and...you're upset because he hasn't tried to contact you?

    In other words, you're upset at him for respecting your wishes.

    I'm confused...UNLESS you didn't mean what you said, in which case you need to find a more mature way to communicate.
    I cant have him contact me anymore. I told myself this was the last time i was trying. I do love him but he clearly doesnt feel the same about me. Im just trying to get my head round where his break up message came from.

  9. #8
    Member gooseduck's Avatar
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    Sorry you have to go through this. But I am confused, in an adult relationship, if you are with someone, why would you block them on facebook in the midst of an argument? Or did I misunderstand that? At this rate, it sounds unhealthy, use this time to become the best version of yourself and block him from every type of communication. We all deserve the best treatment in life.

  10. #9
    Member gooseduck's Avatar
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    Right, this seems like a good time to sort out how to be in a relationship in a healthy way, and learning to communicate with your partner, this is a great time for growth and I am still learning through each breakup I have to endure so Im the same path. Focus on learning to be good to yourself and then you will be better prepared to have a healthy relationship for your next relationship.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    He's too wishy washy, flaky and drama-filled. Block him and be done with him so you can move on with your life. You need a fresh start. Stop dwelling on him because he's history. He's a bad apple.

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