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Thread: Advice needed! I get depressed and angry whenever I see people out with their sp

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Relationship success is rare when marrying before age 25 since the brain doesn't fully form until that age, and because a person hasn't had enough life experience to make intelligent decisions about a life partner.

    I recommend the book The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. It helped me to change my thought process to a more positive one, and to learn how my thoughts and actions affected achieving my life's desires.

    Giving up on what you want hasn't worked. You're miserable and carrying around toxic baggage. Work on your psyche, whether it be by reading how to do so, or seeking therapy, to get to a good place emotionally. When you get there, try meet up.com, dancing lessons, volunteer work, co-ed sports teams, hobbies you can be passionate about. When you exude a passion for life, others will want to be a part of that happiness.

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by Tinydance
    Could you elaborate on why you think it's not in the cards for you to get married? It sounds like you've already given up and resigned that it won't happen, but why do you think that? I understand that being in abusive relationships probably tarnished your outlook on dating and marriage but your age is definitely not a problem. These days people are getting married in their 30's.

    I only just found the right person and getting married in January next year when I'll be 35. The thing is that I don't think you can exactly find someone to get married unless the guy was in his late 20's- in his 30's. I think most guys in their mid 20's these days have no interest in marriage. So it's not surprising that you're not married yet because guys your age would not be looking for marriage.

    I totally relate to jealousy because I felt the same. When I was 25 my best friend called me and left a voicemail saying her partner proposed and she sent me a photo of her engagement ring. I felt so jealous that I didn't call her back at first but just cried and got drunk on a bottle of wine!

    I think you should try to channel that jealousy into motivation to get what you want. I think I found by fiance by putting myself out there and going after what I wanted.
    I mean I wanted to add to this post if it helps -I went to this professional networking event in 2004 and was unhappily single and in my late 30s. Within 10 minutes I ran into a former classmate -also my age - and within a minute she flashed her hand in my face to show me her wedding band and said "can you believe it, me, married!!" - in this self-deprecating but totally smug/braggy way. Two minutes later my ex boyfriend came over -hadn't seen him in years and I saw his wedding band. And I had just had a lovely conversation with another former colleague, married with kids, who said "what? have a baby on your own!" you know because I was getting up in years. I came home to my friend calling to tell me she was pregnant with her first -single mother by choice (who then had 3 more kids with the same anonymous sperm donor -so you know not everyone gets married, she never did) - so please I really do get how nauseating it can be. I didn't down a bottle of wine like tinydance but I felt exactly the same. And that was just one example of many many such experiences. And Tinydance congrats on your wedding plans and engagement and upcoming wedding!!!

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    I mean I wanted to add to this post if it helps -I went to this professional networking event in 2004 and was unhappily single and in my late 30s. Within 10 minutes I ran into a former classmate -also my age - and within a minute she flashed her hand in my face to show me her wedding band and said "can you believe it, me, married!!" - in this self-deprecating but totally smug/braggy way. Two minutes later my ex boyfriend came over -hadn't seen him in years and I saw his wedding band. And I had just had a lovely conversation with another former colleague, married with kids, who said "what? have a baby on your own!" you know because I was getting up in years. I came home to my friend calling to tell me she was pregnant with her first -single mother by choice (who then had 3 more kids with the same anonymous sperm donor -so you know not everyone gets married, she never did) - so please I really do get how nauseating it can be. I didn't down a bottle of wine like tinydance but I felt exactly the same. And that was just one example of many many such experiences. And Tinydance congrats on your wedding plans and engagement and upcoming wedding!!!
    Thanks so much Batya :) ❤

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