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Thread: Still in shock

  1. #1
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    Still in shock

    Girlfriend left so fast

    Girlfriend left at a blink of eye over a small first time disagreement , just as I was getting on a 5.5 flight to go to work for 3 weeks.

    Our realarionship seemed to be going very good to me. We both seemed very happy well at least I knew I was for sure. Her kids were introduced to me and were all moved into my house. From day one I said the house was your home also. I gave them all a beautiful house to live in.

    This whole thing started over a destination wedding. Which is almost a year away. For me to book now would difficult because of my schedule with work. I wouldn't know until the new year. We would have been ok until then. Might have cost a few hundred more. Within an hr she had solutions for her to go with other people instead of me. So of course I was upset. I was just thinking to myself if it was turned around I would be waiting and making sure she was going with me. And if she couldn't go. Most likely I wouldn't be.

    This all taken place over 4 days while I was home on break. Also it was her birthday and she left me at home because she said it was a girls night out. Come to find out that was a lie. There was boyfriends and husbands out also

    I truly loved her. And still do. I'm a bit older and honestly could say this is what I've been waiting for.and then she moves out just as I was leaving for work. No real talk. Mostly through text. We used to text and talk all the time and now nothing. Not only am I away from home but this also.

    I got a text from her a week ago asking how I was doing so of course I said not the best.

    Maybe 4 days ago she sent a text saying I'm sorry you feel this way but I'm done and over everything. Its only been 2 weeks. I just dont get it. It's so hard for me to keep it together. I go home soon and I don't even want to do that because I have to face the empty house when I get back.

    I dont know what to do

  2. #2
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    Didn't you post about this before?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Sounds like you didn't know her very well before you let her move in, if this was your first argument. Block her number so you can have closure. Of course breakups are upsetting, so expect to feel sad for some time. If you don't have a fulfilling life with maintaining friendships and hobbies/interests, make sure you establish that so that handling anything upsetting in life will be far easier with a support system and a passion for an activity you love.

    She doesn't care as much as you do, so it's good that you're now free to find a woman who will be crazy about you. And don't make major decisions like letting a woman move in until you've known how she will treat you in the long run, which usually takes a minimum of a year to know this.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. Replied in you other thread:[Register to see the link]

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  6. #5
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    The thing is she made it seem she was crazy about me always taking about our future and planning she even it said " dosen't it feel good to have found someone to say I love you" I wasn't looking really when I found her. I've been single for a long time because of a rough past and I was ok with it. I wanted to make sure she was in it for the long run. I didnt want to go through what I did before. I just dont get how someone who claims to be in love so much just decides to pack up and leave in a blink of an eye. I put her and the kids first. I knows people will say I shouldn't but thats just who I am

    Even the fact of disappointing my family with canceling the family vacation. This was the first time I wanted to being someone. Now I've even canceled myself going. I just can't do it.

    I'm not a bad person far from it. Maybe I'm to nice and get stepped on. I just dont get being kick to the curb like this. Without even the chance to talk. Funny thing is I listen and talk things out with her when she was down and all the going on. It's not easy seeing what she is going through. All I said was everything will be alright and I will make sure of it and it was. Not only for her but the kids

  7. #6
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    She's sounds incredibly immature and not in love with you at all.

    She's a liar and she's self centered. She obviously wanted to be at the party alone and didn't want to bring you and she doesn't care about your feelings, it was all about her when it came to the vacation.

    And if she left this fast and said 'she's over it'...she's an a****le.

    Let it go, as hard as it might be, you are sparing yourself a lot of disappointment and a lot of upset and drama.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Stop being so nice, most people see that as weak and unattractive.

    Start standing up for yourself, don't be so accessible. Don't message, don't text, don't phone. And if she does, do not answer.

    Let her actually know that you've got some kind of backbone and won't stand for being walked on.

    She is treating you like dirt, you need to start standing up for yourself.

    You can be nice but won't allow yourself to be treated so poorly. Come on...she is terrible to you. Stop allowing it!!

    That's not love, that's desperation on your end and her being fickle and messing with your feelings.

    Just stop.

  9. #8
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    Originally Posted by Andrina
    Sounds like you didn't know her very well before you let her move in, if this was your first argument. Block her number so you can have closure. Of course breakups are upsetting, so expect to feel sad for some time. If you don't have a fulfilling life with maintaining friendships and hobbies/interests, make sure you establish that so that handling anything upsetting in life will be far easier with a support system and a passion for an activity you love.

    She doesn't care as much as you do, so it's good that you're now free to find a woman who will be crazy about you. And don't make major decisions like letting a woman move in until you've known how she will treat you in the long run, which usually takes a minimum of a year to know this.
    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    Stop being so nice, most people see that as weak and unattractive.

    Start standing up for yourself, don't be so accessible. Don't message, don't text, don't phone. And if she does, do not answer.

    Let her actually know that you've got some kind of backbone and won't stand for being walked on.

    She is treating you like dirt, you need to start standing up for yourself.

    You can be nice but won't allow yourself to be treated so poorly. Come on...she is terrible to you. Stop allowing it!!

    That's not love, that's desperation on your end and her being fickle and messing with your feelings.

    Just stop.
    I am a nice guy but not to the point of being walk over. The thing is everything was going so so good. I can't count how many times she said she loved me and was so happy to have met me.

    I'm just so confused how she could just pack up and leave so quickly. I did love her and still do. I cant give up on this just yet. I was so sure of this and felt so right to me. I don't want to live with any regrets over this.

    Yes she packed up so quickly over pretty much first disagreement. But at the same time yes it was our first so it's hard to just walk away

    I fly home soon and l left it at I would like to talk face to face and to be honest with me because leaving the way she did doesn't make sense. I'm truly am hurting over this. I actually said to myself. This is what I've been waiting for so yes it's hard

  10. #9
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    But this is how you feel...if her feelings were genuine she wouldn't be leaving so easily.

    She is fickle at best and a liar at worst. It was never real if she can walk away so easily and not look back.

    You've run into one of those people like to to talk a bunch of bs and say pretty words but don't actually mean it.

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by SherrySher
    But this is how you feel...if her feelings were genuine she wouldn't be leaving so easily.

    She is fickle at best and a liar at worst. It was never real if she can walk away so easily and not look back.

    You've run into one of those people like to to talk a bunch of bs and say pretty words but don't actually mean it.
    I knows what you are saying and from a outsiders point of view and you are more then likely right. But it's so hard to get mad about when I still love her strange as it sounds

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