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Thread: Dating after breakup

  1. #21
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Belle
    Rose - I just came back from a break. Sigh. It would be more worthwhile if I met people that ended up being friends but that's not happening either.

    I know I'm picky, but I'm not yet ready to settle. It sounds like you didn't, you just had to wait a while.
    Donít settle! Put the intention in your heart that you are ready and open to meeting a man that has values that align with yours and commit to walking through whatever fears come up once you do meet him.

    Be patient, keep your eyes, ears and heart open and look for him to come from somewhere totally unexpected.

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by maew
    Donít settle! Put the intention in your heart that you are ready and open to meeting a man that has values that align with yours and commit to walking through whatever fears come up once you do meet him.
    I love this. The latter part is the hard part. Staying vulnerable when you might actually have something to lose because this one is different than the others.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Belle
    Rose - I just came back from a break. Sigh. It would be more worthwhile if I met people that ended up being friends but that's not happening either.

    I know I'm picky, but I'm not yet ready to settle. It sounds like you didn't, you just had to wait a while.
    I didn't settle and it just happened that way. I think ours is one of those cases where we only would have been compatible meeting later in life. There are some real pluses to that (better health, more financially stable/established careers, able to anticipate each others' needs, communicate better, laugh more, not take things so seriously, more perspectives etc etc). It's difficult when you're wading through the swamps but a lot of the time you'll have experience on your side and things are a lot easier once you find someone on your wavelength.

  4. 08-25-2019, 02:45 AM
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    Reference to deleted post.

  5. 08-25-2019, 10:30 AM

  6. #24
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    Rose - I have definitely sharpened my radar for the guys that aren't really relationship material. Those that are capable, but not right now can be more challenging. You can see that they have an elevated level of emotional maturity but aren't ready to work for it yet.

    On another note, a guy I dated over 7 years ago that was emotionally unavailable, took a "break" and then came back only for me to tell him no is reaching out to me again. He was very good looking, successful, no kids and we had a lot in common. He was a year out of his divorce though and was in no way ready for a relationship. I'm curious to catch up with him. I suspect that it wasn't just his divorce that made him emotionally unavailable, but I guess I can talk to him and find out.

    This is the 5th "ex" (he was a short term so not technically an ex) that has reached out to me in the last year since I left my ex fiancť. 3 of them I hadn't heard from in 7-8 years, 2 over a decade. There must be a full moon for exes..

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