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Thread: I have no idea what to do next.

  1. #11
    No english is not our first language, but we have the same first lagnuage, we just from different cities, same coulture, thats not the issue i guess.

  2. #12
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    Sitting at home drinking coffee is not dating.

    Sure, you're "tired". But, how boring! No wonder she lost interest.

  3. #13
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    Eh, this relationship never really got off the ground.

    Sitting around at home all the time is boring, and it's a risky approach to take in a brand-new relationship. It breeds complacency and far too quickly and leaves little to look forward to. Asking her to join you and your friends for drinks is fine, if she were into that sort of thing, but she isn't. It would also be fine if those meet-ups with friends were interspersed with quality couple time, but you admit you barely ever went on dates.

    One-to-one dates are important, OP. I'm not sure this relationship would have survived anyway, but take this as a lesson for the future. Most women are not going to be content hanging out at home all the time; it's vital to enjoy some activities together, get out of the house, and connect.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I'm sensing that you've tried multiple times to get to know her in the dating phase but she won't show her real self or voice her opinions on what to do or what she might like to do on dates. Sometimes women get comfortable too and you both may have differing views. The emotions are high which means you're unable to see each others' strengths, only the shortcomings. I don't feel she made enough of an effort either and she didn't trust you completely. You may have come across as someone difficult to trust at first because of your attitude around dating. Both of you seemed hesitant.

    It's impossible to be around someone who insists on clamming up and does not want to connect with you in a genuine way. Be kind to each other and voice your opinions more openly with some respect for each others' wishes and desires also.

    It's a good idea to start off open-minded and willing to share your life seriously with someone if that's what you're looking for. When you put your whole heart into knowing and loving someone, you'll be less likely to accept any less in return and will recognize deficiencies in the relationship early on. Open up the communication lines with her and ask that she does the same on her part or at least ask her how she feels about that idea about communicating more openly and creating a safer environment to share ideas and thoughts.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Simpleman101
    With the frustations at work i have i never really thought about going out on dates, to organize things to do, i was so tired at the end of the day that i just wanted to be with her, ive always asked her what does she want where she want to go, to go to someplace she always wanted to go, but always said i dont know whatever you like well do.dont get me wrong we talk a lot on different things we click on a lot of other things but never emotionaly. This is the first girl i truly care about that ill do everything to save the relationship. And thats the scary part when we see eachother on moday i dont know what to expect, how to tell her to open up to me, how to tell her that is a two man show we both need to participate.
    Putting it on her to come up with all the ideas of what to do is not the same as organizing an outing for the two of you to go and do something.

    If you are too tired to date then donít be in a relationship because itís not fair to the other person.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Spending time and being in the same room together is not the same as an intimate connection. There is no intimacy between the two of you, therefore there can't be a viable connection.

    If you have the chance or could get a redo, you would need to go out and have experiences together. And she needs to able to open and share a little bit about herself.

    Without either, it's pretty pointless to continue.

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