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Thread: What should I do?

  1. #1
    Platinum Member
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    What should I do?

    I met someone a month ago with whom I've had an instant and extremely electric connection with. Even though I had swiped right for mostly his looks (he's a headturner), we ended up talking intensely in all hours of the day and deeply for two weeks before we met. I really didn't want to get my hopes up but you know what...We met and it was like I already knew him, the date went really well and we have continued to talk a staggering amount and go on dates. Just for context, I'm normally the type that would date a couple of guys for at least a couple of months non exclusively as I don't like to put my eggs in one basket too quickly, and that was always how it's been in the past. I tend to like to drag the non exclusivity thing on for as long as possible because I like to deliberate slowly and take my time.

    If you've read some of my past threads, the people I've mentioned in the recent threads have all wanted to be exclusive but it was a no go on my end. However, this time it's different. This is probably the third guy I've ever met where I've felt such a mix of effortless comfort and ease, where I'm nervous and kinda giddy and where I'm honestly like so smitten. It generally takes me several dates to even decide if I'm actually interested in someone.

    I just think he's absolutely adorable-very self aware, confident, intelligent (indicated by his current career too) introspective and funny. He's told me he really likes me and has been really straight forward about him liking to take things slow.

    Ever since talking to him, I've not been talking to anyone else. I'm now thinking of deleting my Tinder and Bumble, because I honestly don't think anyone else compares. And it has nothing to do with things on his end but I just want to do it. Do you think I'm jumping the gun? He told me after the first date that he's isn't even responding to people anymore and wanted to just focus on me and date me. Obv we're not exclusive but I'm just thinking what is the best way to proceed.

    Oh and sorry if my thread came off like I'm gloating, just wanted to give you guys a full picture of how it's been for me in the past. >_< Would appreciate all your thoughts.
    Last edited by Honeycomb8; 08-22-2019 at 06:57 PM.

  2. #2
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    Look, everyone puts their best self forward when they start dating. You're just seeing the sunny side. It's only been a month. Don't delete anything. Give it time. The odds against it working out are against you; I hate to be pessimistic. Don't jump into this. Take it slowly and know that it may wind up being a disappointment.

  3. #3
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    Oh HC I am so happy for you! ❤️❤️❤️

    No I do not think you are "jumping the gun" and yes I think you should delete your Tinder and Bumble; it's certainly possible to know within one month if you want to focus on just one person to see where it leads, plus he has already told you he is focusing only on you.

    Doesn't mean you have to marry him, you're just choosing to focus only on him (as he is with you); if later down the road, you discover issues that are a dealbreaker, then deal with it then.

    But think positively and for now hell yeah, go for it!! I honestly cannot think of one reason why you wouldn't.

    Take a risk, this all sounds extremely awesome and positive!

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    This sounds wonderful. I'm happy to hear this because you sound very happy. I'd take it day by day and enjoy getting to know each other.

    Deleting or not deleting your online profile doesn't make any difference if you're not paying attention to it or responding to anyone else there. I don't think you're doing anything wrong by deleting your profile (no right or wrong here) but I think you are possibly jumping the gun and a little hasty if you do. One month is a short period of time. It may not be a good idea to get too attached to the idea that this is more than what it really is. The issue is forgetting that you're not exclusive and treating it as if you are over a period of time, forgetting reality and being reminded later that this relationship is not what you might have believed it was or were hoping for it to be.

    Continue seeing each other and be open about what you're looking for in a relationship in your conversations. If he's on the same page as you, both of you should come to some understanding eventually regarding exclusivity and the talk about the profiles will come about more organically. Give it more time.

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  6. #5
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    I met someone off of Bumble and we have been together almost eight months. We are still going strong.

    I believe you can find someone online. Honeycomb if you have a good feeling then delete your bumble and tinder account. You donít need that as a distraction while youíre getting to know someone you enjoy.


    Lisa

  7. #6
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Why delete... just put yourself on invisible and when your are BOTH ready to delete your accounts then do it together.

  8. #7
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    I would if I didn't care about the risk of getting too attached before he is ready to be that attached to you and the risk of foregoing opportunities if, for example, when you've been dating regularly 3-4 months you realize Mr. Wonderful might have some flaws you're not sure if you can live with. On the opportunity front that in turn depends on whether you care about time passing before you find your "one" - if you don't feel that pressure then sure why not -focus just on him. Enjoy!

  9. #8
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    I'd hide my account rather than delete it. It's an investment to set the thing up, so why erase all of that effort on a whim?

  10. #9
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    Hi HC, have you decided what you're gonna do? Or have already done?


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