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Thread: Is this cheating?

  1. #1
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    Is this cheating?

    When I was young, my dad said a lot of because of me, he stayed in the marriage with my mom. He wasn't appreciated at all by her. He was not happy with my mum...

    Could that be called love or is it a cheating? Of course, he was dating with a woman when I was very young and my mother was very angry and they fought a lot on that but in the end, the marriage eventually stayed.

    I very much stood by my mom, but after many years, my auntie revealed that my mom once brought a man that she held hands with to visit my auntie.

    I feel my parents are in the end staying together for me, but I feel they both are cheaters.

  2. #2
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Well, their relationship is their relationship. It is best to let them sorted it out.

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    Thank you, if they stay in the marriage only for me, should I ask them to divorce to get a new life that they both can be liberal and true to themselves?

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    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    No, that is up to them. If you meddle in someone else’s relationship you give them license to meddle in yours when you have one.
    Originally Posted by possum&blacknose
    Thank you, if they stay in the marriage only for me, should I ask them to divorce to get a new life that they both can be liberal and true to themselves?

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    What Sera is saying.

    Their romantic relationship is their business. You're a product of it—and, perhaps, the glue—but you are not the director of it. That's their job, and they'll make the choices they make.

    Our parents offer us a model for romance. A model, not the model. Perhaps seeing (though your eyes) that your parents have stayed in an unhappy marriage for the sake of their kids (you) leads you to make difference choices in terms of partners. I love my father, for instance, but he is basically my model of how not to be man.

    Can I ask how old you are? Do you still live at home and/or rely on your parents for support? I ask because, while I don't think meddling does anyone any favors, sometimes when we become adults we can talk to our parents in a different manner. So, say, you find yourself having a heart to heart and one of your parents mentions that you are the only reason they are still together—well, there could be room there for you to let them know that you will love and respect them both in whatever future choices they make.

    That way it's expressing your feelings, rather than issuing them a directive.

  7. #6
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    What you describe is cheating.

    But you have to let people live their own lives.

  8. #7
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    How old are you? Are they still together?

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    In your other "is it cheating?" thread you describe your own affair, so is it your parents you're worried about? : [Register to see the link]

  10. #9
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    I think I am very much influenced by this. Yes.

  11. #10
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    I am in my late 30s.

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