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Facebook, instagram... social media in general - Good or bad?


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I have deactivated all my accounts to focus as going through tough time recently, however... in doing so, has reduced anxiety a lot... i am reading more, less on my phone and in general happier and more content.

 

I think when you are bombarded 24/7 with notifications, posts from left wing/right wing stuff, how others are doing etc... it chips and wears you down, you naturally compare and I think its better being without it. I also got to a point where I was thinking... is this good for me? Why do people post? Pictures/statuses... is it to share with friends, or something related to ego and i don't think it is healthy.

 

Opinions? :)

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It boils down to your own outlook and mental state really.

 

If it triggers anxiety in you , then ask yourself why?

Not everyone compares or as you say “naturally” compares. Maybe it’s just in your nature to compare. But because of anxiety?

 

Social media is a tool and how you use it is what you get out of it.

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Yup... anxiety. Obviously you have never suffered or wouldn't ask such a question.

 

I know myself and any others who have OCD/Panic disorder/Anxiety disorder... find when in an anxious 'irrational' frame of mind, which is to no fault of our own due to mental illness, that facebook etc can be a source of triggering, hence my decision to remove myself.

 

When I am in a rational frame of mind (more often than not now as I have put a lot of work in overcoming my demons) I see facebook/instagram for what it is.

 

It can be used by some as a nice place to post pictures etc, however i keep in close contact with my close friends via other means, the rest is just fluff or background noise. Which is much what social media is imo. There is also a lot of research that it makes mental illness worse, reduces your ability (especially young adults/teens) to focus for long periods of time (broken focus waiting for next notification or like) Has a negative effect on self esteem, through looking for praise and positive reinforcement, or getting the opposite (no one likes - negative things).

 

Its all ego driven and linked to an interesting study on narcissism, as its an easy platform to get attention and post views and opinions etc.

 

I find being off it therapeutic and a breath of fresh air :)

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I forgot to answer, people do naturally compare when suffering with OCD/anxiety disorder/ panic disorder... I have a friend who got very upset over a group of friends who she is close with posting about meeting up and not inviting her for example. It triggered a lot in her... probably unintentional on the other friends part, however this is what I mean about it triggering.

 

I gt triggered by sexual abuse and bullying posts, I also get triggered by cancer posts atm because of what family is going through.

 

There is a lot of research on the benefits of being off facebook... just wanting to discuss in a friendly forum.

 

The benefits of facebook vs negatives, nothing to do with me or my mental state :) I am actually in a good place considering atm.

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To the contrary I first hand know full well about anxiety. I also know that removing triggers is not the answer.

 

Using anxiety as a reason not to do something is actually fuelling it.

 

Perhaps you rather remove triggers rather than preventing them being triggers?

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Not at all... You now nothing about me, or my life, or what I do and don't do... so please stop speculating.

 

I stated in the last post I didn't want to discuss anything relating to me, just the use of social media and its effects.

 

This was supposed to be a post on the good and bad of social media.

 

Lets turn things around... why do you look at posts and 'assess' people upon one post when you know nothing about them or their mental state? :)

 

Like i said, I am in a good place, I am a lot more productive without social media, reading more and and am enjoying being off it. Lots of people are making the change, this is what I was hoping would be discussed.

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I’m not speculating at all.

I’m responding to what you said and that removing social media has lessened your anxiety. That’s great! But it hasn’t actually done anything for your anxiety , just removed the triggers. But the anxiety is still there!

 

I don’t look at posts and assess them at all. Because I am fully aware that a post is a mere snippet of their life and not a true reflection of it , just a piece they want to share.

 

I don’t use social media for that.

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To the contrary I first hand know full well about anxiety. I also know that removing triggers is not the answer.

 

What!?!

 

It is sometimes absolutely necessary to remove triggers. This is called self care. If something is causing anxiety it makes perfect sense to stay away from it.

Why on earth would anyone continue to put themself into a position where they are having an anxiety provoking response?

 

This is why people go to spas or have down days where they do nothing but sleep or do as minimal as possible. It's healthy, it's necessary.

 

If you're not happy with Facebook anymore flatsquirrel than it makes perfect sense to turn it off.

 

It's not a necessity in life and it can be a waste of time, in fact most of it is.

 

Many only remain on there because it's the only place to stay in contact with certain family or friends, but it's not needed either.

 

I, absolutely agree with you that it can become like a bad version of highschool where there is popularity contests going on, people always trying to one up another another or trying to make themselves and their lives look like perfection.

 

No, it's not everyone, but it can become like this and that's when you know it's toxic and it's time to shut it off.

 

Lots have left Facebook and it's not big deal. It's social media and although it can be something to do when you're bored, it's not always healthy.

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I don't like using it anymore and upon watching a few tedtalks and documentaries on it, i have decided to deactivate it :)

 

Sometimes removing triggers is a bad thing yes, but sometimes it is a good thing also. Like friends who treat you bad and cause anxiety, or an ex who is harrassing you... etc. Its sometimes a good thing... no? :) If it makes you happy to do so and more peaceful? What are your views?

 

Like for example, I now some workplace anxiety is normal and people who have anxiety disorders can overassess or take things wrong way, so you learn to deal through yoga/mediation/therapy etc... however, previous I had a supervisor that made my life a living hell and no matter what I did, i still got it. He used to cover me in spit shouting at me, I wasn't the only person and things weren't going to change... so I left that job. I felt a lot happier, my anxiety over the situation changed and I felt a lot happier.

 

So yes, I agree some situations are not good to run away from (dads cancer and mum's mental illness atm is difficult) however, I meditate, do my yoga and deal with it as I know its something I cannot avoid, nor would I want to. Also with friend who is good friend but suffers badly with anxiety, i wouldn't walk away from her. However, some things are beneficial to eliminate anxiety?

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People with anxiety disorders don’t go to spas for a weekend.

The people that go have normal anxiety.

 

And those same people dismiss anxiety disorders because they think everyone suffers from anxiety.

 

And that we that have a true anxiety disorder just need to go for a spa weekend to fix us???

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I think social media is fine if it doesnt become obsessive or compulsive and for some that's exactly what happens. I read only what I want to read, only post what I think are funny cartoons etc. and use it to keep in contact with friends and relatives on the other side of the planet. It does not upset me in any way, if it did, I'd close my account. It's all how the person uses and reacts to it.

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People with anxiety disorders don’t go to spas for a weekend.

 

Oh yes, they sure do. They try whatever they can to find calm and peace. My cousin has MS and developed quite a severe anxiety disorder. Going to the spa helps her feel more relaxed.

 

Not everything and everyone is a one size fits all. People with anxiety disorders do what they can do find calm. Medications, meditations, therapy, long walks, group therapy, you name it...even spas.

 

If it helps, it's a good thing.

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Oh yes, they sure do. They try whatever they can to find calm and peace. My cousin has MS and developed quite a severe anxiety disorder..

 

That’s nice that someone took her there! Or if she went by herself it was anxiety driven. Not anxiety disorder.

 

There is a huge difference that even my own sister who is in the medical field , clearly not in psychology, doesn’t understand.

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It's like anything else. Too much is a bad thing, but it's not inherently evil if used for your own purposes and in a moderate way.

 

Replied in your other thread on this topic: https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=561094&p=7151566&viewfull=1#post7151566

I think when you are bombarded 24/7 with notifications, posts from left wing/right wing stuff, how others are doing etc... it chips and wears you down, you naturally compare and I think its better being without it. I also got to a point where I was thinking... is this good for me? Why do people post? Pictures/statuses... is it to share with friends, or something related to ego and i don't think it is healthy.

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I won't go into my credentials or personal experiences, Bill, as I don't feel I need to explain myself.

 

But I can assure you that I have more than a full understanding of anxiety disorders and living with one and how difficult it can be.

 

Either way, this is going off track.

 

I hope you're doing okay, OP, I agree with your decision to go off Facebook. If it's not a positive in your life, then let it go. It's a healthy decision.

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I have deactivated all my accounts to focus as going through tough time recently, however... in doing so, has reduced anxiety a lot... i am reading more, less on my phone and in general happier and more content.

 

I think when you are bombarded 24/7 with notifications, posts from left wing/right wing stuff, how others are doing etc... it chips and wears you down, you naturally compare and I think its better being without it. I also got to a point where I was thinking... is this good for me? Why do people post? Pictures/statuses... is it to share with friends, or something related to ego and i don't think it is healthy.

 

Opinions? :)

 

Continue doing what helps you gain clarity. Without our own sense of clarity, we will always look to the definitions of happiness (and its variations) through others.

 

The point is to regain your sense of self and strengthen your identity. If it means tuning out for awhile, that's ok. There are many paths and one destination in the quietening of the mind and learning to focus.

 

It's good that you recognize what you need but don't stay stuck camping out indefinitely on the side of one path. Keep moving.

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It's a personal choice of course... and if you don't like it and don't like using it, then deactivating it makes complete sense.

 

I think social media can be a great tool to stay connected and to find out what people are thinking and feeling about the goings on in the world today (sentiment analysis). IMO social media becomes toxic when people allow it to dictate how they live, when they don't practice critical thinking, when they allow themselves to get involved in contentious discussions with strangers that care not about how they feel.

 

Speaking of Ted Talks, I listened to one some time ago that talked about how we are letting technology control our lives... email, phone, text, social media, all have notifications that are designed to create a sense of urgency to respond, not to mention the culture that has developed in the world that seems to dictate that we respond to texts in 30 seconds or less or that means we don't care about the person on the other side. The end result is this anxiety you speak of where we feel like we have no control over our lives anymore and are constantly at the beck and call of a machine.

 

Sure I could just disconnect from all social media, I mean that would be the easiest thing, however at the end of the day I love technology and want to continue to use it, so my solution is to assert some control over my device and set boundaries with people like I would in any real life relationship. Limit my social media use to around an hour a day.... turn off all notifications so that they don't trigger my anxiety... respond to texts usually at specific times during the day vs. on demand... same thing with email... plan my phone time much like I plan my in person time... put my phone away so that if someone calls, texts or emails and I am in a meeting, or spending time with loved ones, I don't see it and focus on what's in front of me.

 

Thing is... social media and technology is here to stay, and it's going to get even more busy, so I feel like I might as well learn to use it to my advantage.

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It's a personal choice of course... and if you don't like it and don't like using it, then deactivating it makes complete sense.

 

I think social media can be a great tool to stay connected and to find out what people are thinking and feeling about the goings on in the world today (sentiment analysis). IMO social media becomes toxic when people allow it to dictate how they live, when they don't practice critical thinking, when they allow themselves to get involved in contentious discussions with strangers that care not about how they feel.

 

Speaking of Ted Talks, I listened to one some time ago that talked about how we are letting technology control our lives... email, phone, text, social media, all have notifications that are designed to create a sense of urgency to respond, not to mention the culture that has developed in the world that seems to dictate that we respond to texts in 30 seconds or less or that means we don't care about the person on the other side. The end result is this anxiety you speak of where we feel like we have no control over our lives anymore and are constantly at the beck and call of a machine.

 

Sure I could just disconnect from all social media, I mean that would be the easiest thing, however at the end of the day I love technology and want to continue to use it, so my solution is to assert some control over my device and set boundaries with people like I would in any real life relationship. Limit my social media use to around an hour a day.... turn off all notifications so that they don't trigger my anxiety... respond to texts usually at specific times during the day vs. on demand... same thing with email... plan my phone time much like I plan my in person time... put my phone away so that if someone calls, texts or emails and I am in a meeting, or spending time with loved ones, I don't see it and focus on what's in front of me.

 

Thing is... social media and technology is here to stay, and it's going to get even more busy, so I feel like I might as well learn to use it to my advantage.

 

Yes, I agree. Technology is here to stay. Its interesting the tedtalk you mentioned. Sometimes I feel we struggle to live without devices. I never used to take my phone out with me when I was younger, or leave it in a safe on holiday... now I feel lost without it! Its interesting, how technology has been ingrained over the past decade or so.

 

Some technology I would struggle to live without, google maps for example! However, taking a break from social media has been wonderful... I still have fb messenger and whatsapp though :)

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You already posted the same type of thread. Why again?

 

 

That was about taking a detox from social media,this was a kind of different spin, to gauge peoples opinions on social media... the good and bad and their opinions in hoping to start a good debate and see different perspectives.

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I won't go into my credentials or personal experiences, Bill, as I don't feel I need to explain myself.

 

But I can assure you that I have more than a full understanding of anxiety disorders and living with one and how difficult it can be.

 

Either way, this is going off track.

 

I hope you're doing okay, OP, I agree with your decision to go off Facebook. If it's not a positive in your life, then let it go. It's a healthy decision.

 

Yes,i'm in a good place, life is crazy atm in a lot of ways, like the song title - life is a rollercoaster, ups and downs highs and lows!

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That was about taking a detox from social media,this was a kind of different spin, to gauge peoples opinions on social media... the good and bad and their opinions in hoping to start a good debate and see different perspectives.

 

Sorry, I thought you asked people's opinions about coming off of social media.

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Hey flatsquirrel,

 

Love the idea of this thread! Social media is absolutely huge, no doubt about it, in nearly everyones lives. The time we spend looking at our screens and the sheer volume of people who have things like instagram, WhatsApp, Facebook, Twitter etc is also massive - you are hard pressed to find anyone with at least one if not all of them. In my opinion, it's taking over peoples lives!

 

I walk down the street and people are walking looking at their phones. Completely depresses me, I can't tell you. And I go and take my 18 month old son to activities, I look behind me and instead of watching their children the mothers and fathers are checking their phones. And you would think, wow, it must be a really important business deal to have to break yourself away like that or, you might have a crisis going on? No, you peep a look at their screens and they're checking out someones a** on instagram or plugging in emojis in texts that are being sent at a million miles an hour lolzolzolzoloflololol. I find it worrying. Not only are they not enjoying their children, fully present, but in my opinion they are not involved in real life, real interactions, real emotions - people have this second virtual life lived online.

 

I am very traditional and with that in this modern, western era, very unusual, so my opinion on this stuff isn't the norm. I have to say, I deleted Facebook about a year ago and it felt amazing, truly. I also got rid of looking at my phone. My screen time went from 1.5 hours a day (which I know is still low compared to most) to about 15 minutes. I use it for music, the time, the odd text and phone call. I kind of am even considering whether I need a smart phone with the internet on, just another temptation to zombie out. And, I feel the same way about TV. People are shocked because we don't have a TV in the house. The first thing people ask me is, "What do you DO on a night?!" And I just joke that my son was only 1 before I was pregnant again so you guess it HA!

 

No really, I actually talk to my husband on a night, spend family time, do chores, do the garden, make plans - it's amazing what you can get done for yourself and how your own mentality just shifts within a few days without the crutch of this stuff. Do you really care what someone you went to school with 15 years ago ate for breakfast this morning? Do you really need to know who's split up with who, or what holiday a friend of a friend is on?

 

I get the pluses, if you are very old, I can see a great deal of optimism in it for you but it's not the 70, 80 year olds that are using this stuff. I think they would benefit.

 

My life has completely opened up just talking to people face to face. Even today, I took my son out into town and instantly a beautiful Persian lady who was holding her 6 month old girl started talking to me. We spoke for nearly an hour and she asked for my number and a play date. I looked back and the other Mums were on their phones. I find it so sad.

 

Each to their own but in my opinion all the negatives outweigh any positives social media has.

 

Best of luck with your journey, I could imagine if it also brings on some form of anxiety for you you are going to feel much better in the long run.

 

Lo x

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