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Thread: I have a crush on my best friends boyfriend

  1. #1

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    I have a crush on my best friends boyfriend

    There's a boy I'm really interested in at school, but he's my friends ex boyfriend. He's super nice, intelligent and a really amazing person. He's been in the same schools as me since middle school and while we werent exactly friends, we had friends in common and he was my best friends boyfriend so we knew each other. I started thinking maybe he has feelings for me when I caught him looking right at me in some of the classes we had together (this happened well after they broke up). at first I thought maybe he was just staring blankly but it kept happening and I started liking him. I thought maybe I should talk to him, so the next day I sat at his lunch table. But that went horrible!!! When he walked to the table, I said Hi to him and he noticed me sitting there. Then, without even greeting me back, he turns around and walks away to a different table! Oh god, I've never been so embarrassed and offended in my life! If he didn't want to even sit near me, then why was he staring at me so often when he thought I wasn't noticing it? After that happened, I didn't want to even see him. But if I'm being honest, I'm really attracted to him. But there's problems like him giving mixed signals and the biggest issue, hes my FRIENDS EX. Do you think he's interested or does he dislike me?? And if he does like me, is it worth dealing with the drama thats going to start between me and my friend when she finds out? Please help!

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    He is your best friends's ex. Whether he likes you or not is immaterial. Unless you want to lose your best friend and be labelled as disloyal and backstabbing, you need to find someone to like who is NOT a friend's ex. It's that simple unless you really are a disloyal/ backstabbing person and were just paying lip service about him being your bf's ex mattering.
    P.S. When someone rejects you like he did, you need to learn to let go NOT pursue harder. Pursuing someone who has rejected you is a sign of low self-self esteem. You need to work on fixing that or you risk entering all kinds of drama filled mess in the future.

  3. #3
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    It doesn't matter. She is you best friend's ex. What happened to girl code! Don't be that type of girl, unless you want to lose your BFF..

    Would you like this done to you?

    You do sound like you have poor self esteem. Not only do you want to pursue your BFF's ex, you want to pursue someone who has zero interest in you.

  4. #4
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    - the other posters here are right - if you value your friendship, don't mess with your friend's ex. Find another boy to like.

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  6. #5
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    He clearly isnít interested in you.
    Have you discussed any of this with your supposed best friend?
    How long ago did they break up?
    And why on earth would you sit at his lunch table instead of with your friends??
    What did they think about that??

  7. #6
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    Agreed.

    There are billions of people on the planet. Millions of them are age-appropriate and single for you to date. Why would you choose to go after the one person who would hurt your best friend? Seriously. Thatís not very friendly at all.

    My guess is that he was staring at you because you remind him of his ex. How long ago did they break up? He probably still has feelings for her.

    You are young, though, and I think this is an important lesson. If you want to keep your friends, steer clear of their recent exes. You have a lot of dating years ahead of you - youíll need those friends around for the important stuff and to help you pick up the pieces when relationships go sideways.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Date other boys. This is too awkward all the way around. There are no mixed signals. He doesn't want to be friends with you no less date you. A crush is in your head. It's not a real situation where he's talking to you or showing any interest whatsoever.

    Crushes aren't a good reason to chase someone and put them and yourself in such awkward situations. Surely there are plenty of other boys to go out with at school.
    Originally Posted by MeJu
    I thought maybe I should talk to him, so the next day I sat at his lunch table. But that went horrible!

    without even greeting me back, he turns around and walks away to a different table!

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    He doesn't seem too keen to be around you and I think he senses you may be attracted to him and is unwilling to appear rude to anyone in the social circle. If he's as smart and amazing as you think he is, he's very aware of the way you're looking at him or the way you seem interested in speaking or spending time sitting with him. Let it be for now as it doesn't appear like this going anywhere. Your best friend may also be picking up signs that you're interested in her ex. How is she doing after the break up?

  10. #9
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    When he walked way from your table, he rendered any concerns about 'who knows what' irrelevant. The guy isn't interested, so there's nothing to talk with your friend about.


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