Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: How do I tell the truth

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Posts
    2

    How do I tell the truth

    I have recently got back in touch with an old friend and things are now turning into a romance. When I last saw him I was in a relationship with one of his work colleagues which ended about 7 years old, however we have remained good friends so much so that we live together and go on holiday.

    I have not told the guy I am seeing yet as I thought it would be weird over text and would be better in person. However my ex/friend says this is wrong and I am lying to him.

    What shall I do.

    Many thanks
    Sky

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Posts
    2
    Move out!!! If you have a boyfriend, the last thing he wants is for you to be living with another man!

  3. #3
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    21,563
    Originally Posted by MeJu
    Move out!!! If you have a boyfriend, the last thing he wants is for you to be living with another man!
    There is no reason for you to move out if you are only friends. I do not understand why you would not be honest with him, though. Why does your friend think you are lying?

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Posts
    2
    I do want to be honest with him, I was hoping to tell him face to face as felt it might come across wrong in a text. However I have now gone away for 6 weeks.

    My friend says I should have been up front when I started talking to him again.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    35,495
    Gender
    Male
    You're still in a relationship albeit unfulfilling and boring. You seem to be rehearsing the "we're just like roommates" speech to rationalize your feelings and hoping con this guy into cheating with you.
    Originally Posted by Sky89
    I have recently got back in touch with an old friend and things are now turning into a romance.
    we live together and go on holiday.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    21,563
    Originally Posted by Sky89
    I do want to be honest with him, I was hoping to tell him face to face as felt it might come across wrong in a text. However I have now gone away for 6 weeks.

    My friend says I should have been up front when I started talking to him again.
    Just tell him the next time you see him.

  8. #7
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Posts
    330
    Yes, you should have been upfront about it from the beginning. When someone is not upfront, it is natural to assume they are hiding something or lying. But that is the past, shoulda's, coulda's don't help, it's now time for the next option.

    Please do not tell him by text, not only is that sadly weak, but it also can cause him to react or misinterpret without there being a chance to further talk about it. Talk about it in person when you get back so there is a chance for a complete conversation.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    6,405
    Gender
    Female
    Most people donít like it when their partner is really close to an ex - nevermind living with them and travelling with them.

    Normally I would agree that this kind of thing is a discussion you would want to have in person - but another 6 weeks or so is a long time. Especially if you just started dating this guy.

    Since he already knows your ex, I think you should just find a way to bring him up in conversation. ďOh, so Joe picked up my mail and said that I got a cool cardĒ (or whatever) and you can slip it into the conversation.

    I donít think there is a way to cushion it. Either it will be something he is ok with or not. Probably not. Might as well come out with it sooner than later, IMO.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Location
    British Columbia, Canada
    Posts
    2,699
    Gender
    Female
    It's generally not a good idea to mislead anyone. I'm not adverse to text/email/phone information when it comes to important information. We're in the 21st century, not asking about how Rochester's hand is doing in a sitting room after the fire in Jane Eyre. This constitutes important information in my eyes and he should know whether you're in the same room doing it or not.

    Prolonging it due to qualms about methodology when it's as serious as "Sorry, it's over" would not work for me. On those terms, there is very little to say so say what you have to and move forwards.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    35,495
    Gender
    Male
    The roommate 'friend'? You're just talking and wishing and hoping and have a crush. Do you have an open arrangement with your bf/roommate? Are you vacationing with your bf/roommate?
    Originally Posted by Sky89
    My friend says I should have been up front when I started talking to him again.


Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •