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Thread: A make believe relationship? PLEASE HELP ME

  1. #1

    A make believe relationship? PLEASE HELP ME

    Hi I really needed to talk to somebody about this and I just found this website. To whoever is reading this I wanna thank you in advance.
    Here's my story: I used to be a happy person. I've been a model for 15 years, I started when I was really young. My family's financial status has always been good,I was always popular,I've always been surrounded by lots of people, managers, agents, my assistant,my personal trainer,my family. Until our family business started going badly that's when my parents decided to send me to live somewhere else for a while. They're public persons so they've told me to stay incognito for a while. I currenlty have very limited funds and due to this, I can't go out too often and everytime I try to make a friend and ask her to hang out I never do because I don't have enough money. I've never been this lonely before.. I almost never leave the house so the only way I can meet people is online but I can't afford to have too many pictures of myself on any dating apps. I started using an international app and made a penpal in another country. He,like many other guys messaged me saying that I'm gorgeous and that he's never seen anyone as beautiful as I am before. He lives in another country and on a different continent, he's currently in the army and he just turned 21. He seemed nice so I said "Ok you can follow me on social media" (where I haven't posted anything in over a year) at first I just thought of him as another fan or "follower" because he's not my type, I tend to go for older men and with a good financial status. But there was soemthing about him and his messages..hard to explain it. And then one day he said to me " I'm your number 1 fan" and then showed me a screenshot of a photo album in his phone with my name on it. He had at least 100 pics of me in it and not just of my face but also the food I used to post, and pretty much every pic I ever posted. When I saw that I asked for his whatsapp so I can call him. I called him and said "Ew you;re such a stalker!! I can't believe you'd actually show me that I mean most stalkers just keep it to themselvs.." To which he said:" I even have one with your cat pics ( I used to have a cat)." I should've been scared, but I wasn't. I don't know why but I was so happy. And weirdly attracted to him.. That's when I started askim him things about himself and about his life. We have a 12+ hour time difference and he only gets to use his phone once a day for 4 hours. Ever since we had that phone call, he's been using all his phone time on me. He calls me as soon as he gets his phone, that's usually around 3am for me, but I don't mind waiting. Talking to him is the highlight of my day. He's so sweet and so.. pure. I've dated so many men.. other models, famous photographers, CEO and what not. But he hasn't, in fact he's never even had.. intercourse before. He was always a good kid, with a normal life, but in his country they're actually a lot more conservative anyways. He told me he got aroused when he saw my lingerie ads , I would normally think that's creepy but coming from him I liked it. Everything's been great.. until a week ago. When he said to me "I think we should cool it for a while, just until I'm done with the army (he's got 1.5 years left). I love you but it hurts me to know that you don't sleep at night because of me, and whenever I can't use my phone you get upset and we argue. I can't afford any stress right now, what I'm doing here isn't easy"
    When I read his text my world stopped.. I immediately started crying. I called but he hung up, said it was too difficult to talk about it. I begged him to call me and then cried on the phone for 40 minutes, I said "Please don't do this,.I need you, I love you.." I've never said these words before to anyone. Nor have I ever begged someone not to leave me since I was always the one in control and the one who called the shots.I don't know if I broke down because I was being dumped by a fan and my pride got hurt or because I actuallly love him. I then told him that if we don't talk I can't wait for him... I told him I'd block him everywhere and that he's never gonna be able to talk to me again. He then said he's sorry and asked me to stop crying, he said " I love you please stop crying.. we'll go back to normal, I won't leave you"
    And so we did. We talked everyday just like nothing had happened ,that was 2 weeks ago. He's getting 4 days off next week and we made plans to talk on the phone and even try to watch a movie together on skype.(As dumb as that sounds) And he's gonna hang out with his friends and family when I'm alseep. Last night we were on the phone as always but he was very distracted.. and he seemed tired.. and bored I don't know. He wasn't saying much so I let him go and take a rest. Today, when he got his phone he texted me the usual "Hey babe, I just got my phone" and then I said "Good, when can you call me?" And he said " Actually,let's just text today I gotta plan my trip so I'll be getting calls from my friends". I got so mad and so ... upset.. He's my number one priority, hearing his voice is the highlight of my day, even if it's just for a minute. But the fact that he didn't even wanna hear my voice really hurt me. So I got tears in my eyes again,I still do.So then I said : Ok you know what,you can do your thing u don't need to call me everyday, in fact you don't need to call me at all. That was 4 hours ago. He didn't reply. I went to the bathroom and took a look at myself in mirror and I realized.. I'm crying over someone I never met !!!!! I've only seen him in pics and he's not even my type. What the hell am I doing?! I need medication. I started yellng at myself "THIS ISN'T REAL and it's not LOVE, STOP CRYING" repeatedly.I don't know what's wrong with me... I would go see a therapist if I could afford it. I can't tell my friend back home about it because they wouldn't understand and I'm too embarassed, they would think I'm crazy. I could have any guy I wanted and now I'm crying over soemoene I haven't met. I barely know what he looks like. I'm writing all this with tears in my eyes, I really felt like telling someone about this before I lose it... Please tell me what to do? Should I try to tell my parents ? Their lives are so hard right now I don't wanna add to it. I love them so much.. I don't know what's wrong with me. I wanted to go to church and talk to a priest but the nearest church is 10 miles from here and I can't even afford an Uber there..

    Thank you so much for reading this and God bless you..

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    I would talk to your parents, yes.

    Clearly your social isolation is having a negative effect on you, to the extent that you're looking for a stranger to fill the loneliness in your life. It's not healthy and will lead to further situations like this if it isn't addressed now.

    As for this man - you don't really know who you've been talking to. It's a fantasy at this point. Maybe he is a 21-year-old soldier, or maybe he's a married father of three who looks for fun on the internet when his wife's head is turned. You have built up an idea of who this person might be but you currently have no clue who he actually is. The soldier story could easily be a lie.

    I would stop all contact with him, regardless. It's not going to lead anywhere good, and you have bigger issues to work out.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Cloud Nine
    Sorry to hear this. Every day there are sad stories like yours where people get caught up with catfish and scammers. Get help from whatever resources you can in the country you're in. It's free to improve your internet savvy and stop posting lingerie pics, every detail of your life, etc and overexposing yourself to creeps like this.

    You need to refine and use discretion when crafting your online presence. This includes cleaning up all your social media, resetting all your privacy settings, deleting and blocking strangers and weirdos like this. Being this desperate for likes or followers because you're lonely and isolated won't solve your problems.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Successful model from financially successful parents whose business took a financial turn?
    And they send the one good income they have away??
    This sounds more like a make believe story?
    You are requested to stay incognito yet you don’t. Why not?
    You still get online . That’s not staying incognito even if an overseas app!
    If it’s true that your parents sent you somewhere with no income, what are you doing to earn income?

    What was your parents income? Legit or not?

    And are you “allowed” to contact your parents during your “incognito” phase and how long is that intended to be ?


  6. #5
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Central Canada
    Didn't I see this story on Netflix? It sounds very familiar.

    Anyway... yes tell your parents that you are having an emotional breakdown and that you need help.

  7. #6
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Is this real? If it is, you might need a reality check.

    If you are a real model, you should have an income. And if you have been modeling for 15 years, you are probably at least 18. So if you need money, go work somewhere. Get a job.

    Yes. It is a make-believe relationship.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Having a hard time believing this post is a real life story OP... giving you the benefit of the doubt, yes you do need to talk to your parents, no matter what is going on for them they will want to know what is going on for you, and provide support for you.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    I actually was also thinking that this is fake. I apologise if it's not! I didn't see anything like this on Netflix but straight away got a sense that this story is fake as well. Basically I think that yes, the relationship with this guy is not real and if you really are a gorgeous model then he just likes you for your looks. He doesn't actually know you. Even without money you can make friends in real life by using Meetup groups, community centres, etc. Above all you can get some job, like waitress or in a shop. I'm thinking why can't you get some other job or keep making money being a model? Just sounds weird...

  10. #9
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2018
    Sometimes I read posts like these and I wonder if this is someone writing a book about fictional characters and needing some rounded insight from other people to help develope those characters.

    Don't talk to anyone online from a different country.

    Not only is it dangerous but it's pointless, if this is a real guy are you really going to pursue a relationship with him? How would that work?

    If you want to improve your social isolation that way, you should at least talk to people online from the same country as you. At least you'd have a better chance at a real relationship. Odds would definitely be more in your favor if he lived in the same country as you.

    Finding a random guy from far far far away is a waste of time and it's another Subconscious way of social isolation. You're seeking a relationship with someone you might never have the opportunity to meet. Not worth it!

    Put your efforts in likely friendships

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